Non-PG13 (Strong Language): I was raped because I'm in love...

[LoveHurtsAlot]

Hi, my name is Crystal. Some people know me on here as just being a happy girl that wants to talk to people and make their lives better.... Well... now I'm the one that needs help...

About 2 months ago, I started dating the most wonderful guy in the universe. He just makes me really happy and I don't know where I would be with out him.(Thanks Taylor ) But, because of us dating, there is this guy that will stop at NOTHING to try to break us up so I can be with him. He keeps sending text messages, he gives me these "looks" , he tries to touch me, and does EVERYTHING that he can to make my boyfriend jealous and have him break up with me. Well yesterday, he did the worst thing he could have done....

I was at home, by my self, just on the computer, when I heard the doorbell ring. I went to go answer it. I opened the door, and it was him.... I stood there in shock and a overwhelming sense of fear shot threw my body. He was just standing there, smiling, knowing that I was terrified. He said to me, "So, where's that boyfriend of yours?" I stood there silently and said "He's not here right now..."

Big mistake.


He just kind of chuckled a little bit and asked if he could come in. I know I shouldn't have let him in but, I didn't want to make him angry. I stepped out of the way so he could come in. He kicked off his shoes and just let out a deep breath. I closed the door and by stupid and natural instinct....

I locked it.

Right when he heard the door lock, he took the opportunity to grab me and kiss me. I tried to push him away, and when I did, he got angry... He then picked me up by my waist and somehow carried me up the stairs. I was trying really hard to get out of his grip, but I couldn't. He took me into my room, and slammed me down on my bed.

This part might give you some graphic images, so if you are sensitive to this subject, stop reading right now.

He slammed my door shut and jumped on top of me. He said " Let's see how much your boyfriend really loves you after this happens." He then ripped my pants off and took off his shirt. I kept screaming "No!!" but it wasn't working. Then, he took off his pants and slid my underwear off. I was just laying there, not knowing what to do, and let him do what he wanted. He slipped off his boxers and took my shirt and my bra off. Then... he...

Entered me...

It was the WORST feeling in the world. I couldn't do anything to help my self, I just layed there, my body was going numb, that's why I couldn't move. He did it for about 20 minutes before he stopped. "Liked that didn't you?", he said. "I guess I'll be seeing you soon then, since when you tell your boyfriend, he'll leave you." He chuckled and left.

I just layed there.... contemplating what just happened in my head... after about 10 minutes, I finally sat up. Then, I just cried. Later that night, I told a friend about what happened and asked him what to do when I told my boyfriend. He told me to just tell my boyfriend calmly and hopefully he would understand. Sure enough, just as he said that, my boyfriend walked in to the room. I stood up, but then I fell weak at the knees and fell into his arms in tears. He asked me what happened and I told him everything. He understood automatically and just held me and told me everything was going to be OK.

I just need advice on what to do. If anyone could try and help me, I would REALLY appreciate it. Thank you for reading and give me some advice as soon as you can. Thanks again, Crystal

[anonymouswhale]

I'm not really sure what advice you're looking for, because I feel like the answers are within you. Your boyfriend is a great guy, especially for his love and support during that difficult time. Of course, I'd expect him to comfort you, but I'm just glad he did.

Don't hang around that other guy again. You need to tell an adult, because nobody has the right to do that to you without your consent. He could get in serious trouble for that. There's more details and hardships to get the courage to tell somebody. Whether you tell an adult or not, I highly advise that you don't hang around that boy again. If he thought he was entitled to assault you once, then he might feel that entitlement next time. Logically speaking, I would tell an adult. But I know that could get hard and complicated, so if you don't do that, then be sure to stay away from that guy and never let him back in your life again. These things should not be forgiven.

[JohnCoop]

CALL THE POLICE!!!!! Do not give that pig a chance to you or hurt anyone else ever again, it is essential that he pay for what he has done to you, if not then he gets AWAY, scat free. He had no remorse for what he did to you, he is SICK. I beg you, for the sake of you and for the sake of any other girl he comes into contact with, call the police or tell someone who will. I know it won't be easy, in any regard talking to someone about it, let alone testifying to it, but he has to PAY for what he has done to you. He isn't deserving of being a free man.

[lauri]

CALL THE POLICE GET A RESTRAINING ORDER you must do this dont give excuses JUST DO IT PLEASEE.

[LANIKA]

First of all, let me say from the bottom of my heart that I'm sorry you had to go through this. Rape is a very traumatic, scary, tragic, thing that you shouldn't have had to go through. That nobody should have to go through, ever.

What you should have done is went to the hospital and had a rape kit done on you - They would have given you plan B to ensure you wouldn't have gotten pregnant from it too, and they would have also had evidence against your attacker. Since you didn't mention that in your post, I'm going to assume that you didn't; for anyone who reads this, though, that's the -first- thing you should do. Not take a shower, not sit and think about what happened, and not contemplate on whether or not to press charges. A rape kit should always be the first step.

Again though, going under the assumption that you didn't have one done. . . It's still important to contact the authorities. You need to do this, if you don't, this man will continue to harass you. He seems . . . Sociopathic, at best. If you don't feel comfortable with having charges pressed against him, you can still get a restraining order to assure that he'll leave you alone. And you need to get him to leave you alone. You can't have somebody so horrible doing these things to you; and once it starts, it because a vicious cycle unless you stop it.

Again, I'm so very sorry this happened to you. I would also suggest seeing a therapist or a grief counselor about this as well. Rape and sexual assault of any kind, for that matter, is very serious and leaves lives shattered. So it would be ideal to talk to a professional about it.

-hugs-

[JohnCoop]

Also, block all contact with that son of a bitch. Do not respond to any texts, phone calls or any form of contact he tries. If he shows up at your house again then it is imperative to call the police or anyone nearby who can help immediately, then if you can, sneak out the back door and take refuge at a neighbors house, but only if you are SURE that you can escape undetected and BRING YOUR PHONE. If escape is impractical or dangerous, then call the police, it is extremely important that you tell them that he is dangerous, because if you just call 9-1-1 and tell the dispatcher that someone strange is knocking on your door than they may be slower to respond. If they know that you are in imminent danger they will dispatch a car immediately. If you have to stay in your house then grab both your home phone (if your house has one) and your cell phone (switch it to SILENT) and hide in any room that has a lock and wait for the police. Barricade the door if you have too.


I am so sorry that this has happened to you and I hope you start feeling better soon and I agree with Rissy above, get a rape kit done to make sure you aren't pregnant and that he didn't transfer any STDs to you. Once again, I'm so sorry this happened, Chrystal and I pray that you can get through this.

[Tigerlily.]

Well as others have said, you really should go to the police and as both Rissy and John have pointed out, you should get a rape kit done if you still can. If the rape occurred less than 72 hours ago (in some cases they will do one even after 72 hours) you can still have one done, obviously it's best if you haven't showered, but if you have, then I'd still suggest seeing what they might be able to find. And take in the clothes you were wearing that day, obviously it works better if you haven't washed them yet. Whether you get a rape kit or not, you should try to go to the police with this. What he did was wrong and you never deserved any of that. I know it can be so hard to think about it, but with your boyfriend by your side I'm sure you can do this. If you are too scared to go the police yourself possibly ask your boyfriend if he can, but do know that you will still have to be the one to testify. I also highly suggest going to see a therapist or grief counselor, like Rissy suggested. Things like this are not just things you can get over and move on like it never happened. These can be debilitating to a lot of people emotionally and mentally and can really interfere with your life. Even if you don't go to the police, you really should talk to a professional about what happened so they can help you learn to cope with what has happened.

[LoveHurtsAlot]

Thanks you guys for the help... I'm feeling better now... I really appreciate it

[BlaineG.]

Hello-

Wow. I am so sorry that this happened to you. I agree with what the others said above. You should contact the police and press charges. No one has the right to do this to you! I hope that you make the decision to go forward in pressing charges on this guy.

I am here for you if you need to talk. I hope that you are okay.

Be Strong! All of us here care! Keep us posted on how you are doing!

-BlaineG.

[LoveHurtsAlot]

I'm doing better, my boyfriend has been supportive all the way

[LANIKA]

I'm glad you're doing better - But, you haven't said whether or not you've decided to get the authorities involved. Are you going to be? Your boyfriend supporting you is great, but, him being there for you isn't automatically going to stop this other man from abusing you again.

[LoveHurtsAlot]

I have reported it guys, don't worry He's been found, and he will never touch me again Thanks soooo much. You guys are amazing. I love you.


Crystal

[Tigerlily.]

You're welcome Crystal, I'm glad that he's been taken care of and everything is sorted out. Seeing as it seems the OP is happy with the answers and this man has been dealt with, I'm going to close this thread. Crystal if you want it opened again, just PM me and I'll re-open it, or you can make a new thread.