TeenHelp - Triggering (Abuse): Rape

rape

an ugly word, a despicable action
something uncontrollable, maybe?
no one at fault, no one takes the blame
most make it a joke and no one takes it seriously

until

it enters a life
darkens a soul
changes a world

then, it’s not so much of a joke
then it brings pain
then it makes them wonder

why?
did I cause this?
is it my fault?
when does the guilt leave?
when will I no longer be afraid?
when does the pain go away?
when will I be free from this?
when will I have peace?

then it causes them to doubt

who am I now?
what have I become?
will I ever be healed?
when will I be clean again?
will I ever be the same person I once was?

some get help, take revenge
some speak in quiet, broken voices to trusted friends
some keep it in, locking it inside themselves, hiding

but none will ever be the same

and they try to move past their past,
all can- they become stronger

but some are haunted much longer
haunted by the
memories
guilt
fear

some place the blame on others
some keep it to themselves
all wish they could stop blaming anyone
all wish to take back the past
but they learn
to live again
to grow again

the broken children
yearning to be mended
but only time mends these types of wounds

they lost something
their innocence
and they can never get it back

but they can gain something
strength
and they have what we need to go on
courage
faith

the pain
it hurts, inside
where no one can see it but them and God
people, who once saw all the beauty in the world
can only see darkness

when they know that they once trusted
and now can not trust again
when they know that trust leads to pain
that trust can be broken
and never can be the same as it once was

they want to be free
free from the chains of the past that keep them where they are
that keeps them trapped

Free from the memories-
they want to forget
they want to banish the thoughts from their minds
and never think upon such dark things again
but how free would any of them be
if a few forgot what so many cannot forget?

they learn, with time
that what happened
was not in their control
was not their fault
or their responsibility to fix

that they can still be loved
that they can have peace
that all touch is not bad
that not all people live to hurt

that all the blame
the shame
is not theirs to hold alone

we are not alone