Life progress

[Rivière]

I was just browsing the forums and I was thinking about the progress I've made in life. Mostly how far I've come as a person in comparison to where I used to be.

Up until university I used to spend a lot of my time trying to convince people of my changes. Or trying my best to prove myself to others. Maybe even try and show off and/or impress others in one way or another. A lot of that changed when I went to university. I definitely think it helped mature and alter my perceptions on many things.

I've become more reserved in some ways, but more open in others. I don't care to impress or prove myself to others. I stopped trying to tell people how much I've changed, nor do I bother to try and convince them of it. Besides, change is a matter of perspective. I came to realise that it isn't for me to decide whether I've changed or not. It's for other people to determine.

Looking back at some of the posts I've made on the forums, as opposed to the way I respond to others now... while parts of me still remain the same, I have noticed a difference in my behaviour and the way I write.

What kind of changes have you made over the years? It doesn't have to be in relation to TeenHelp. It can be anything that you feel demonstrates how much progression you've made in life.

[Stacey]

Reading this is so lovely and uplifting, thank you for sharing!

Personally, I'm most proud of how much more open and communicative with my feelings, boundaries and needs I am. I think that's the biggest change overall between me now and me even 8 or 10 years ago in university.

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[Everglow.]

I love this idea for a post and I'm glad you've noticed things you like about how far you've come. It's one of my favourite things about having been around here for 10 years - I have an archive of who I've been and who I am now, and a lot of the time it's really positive!

I think I've made a lot of really good changes. I'm much more confident in who I am now and not afraid to stand up for myself if I feel I'm being treated badly, which is something years of bullying made really hard for me as a teenager. I'm also much less impacted by what other people think about me too and I've realised most of the time, it doesn't matter anyway.

I'm probably a little bit more shut off from people at the same time though, partially because I feel I'm pretty content with the things and people I have in my life already, but also because distance stops me getting attached to temporary people. I used to trust more easily than I do now!

[Sprite-1]

I've never stood down from a fight, nor have I ever, ever, shown fear in my eyes when cornered. I still don't trust people, but life has caused that, what has progressed in my life from looking back, is I'm doing well at school. I'm getting good marks, but I've always studied hard.


Since the dark days I laugh more. I go running some mornings with my sister to keep fit. I actually enjoy rain more, but that's because I'm not living on the streets no more and getting soaked and cold. And I got a good home now. Means I'm a happier person. And safe!

[Dawn.]

I feel like I have come a long way after being diagnosed with mental health issues. I definitely am not the same person I was since leaving school. I've become more confident and I actually stand up for myself now.

[Celyn]

I'm in a weird place, progress wise. In some areas, I've come on leaps and bounds, while other areas are slow or perhaps even gone backwards.

I read some of my old threads on here a while ago and cringed. I was so dramatic, but think I just wanted to be heard and to have someone validate what I was going through. I've struggled a lot with being open with my feelings. I don't seem to get it right. I might rely on one person too much, or talk to someone who isn't capable of supporting me, or I go to therapy or blog but then feel that I've compartmentalised all my feelings to therapy or blog only. However, over the last few years, I've tried to be more open with those around me. I'm also trying to be more open with a close friend too. I have no idea if it's a good idea or not, but I feel like I want to be more honest about myself. I have a tendency to hide my feelings from others, not just bad feelings but also good feelings too. I have actually regretted not acting on good feelings in the past, so I'm trying to fix that. But in general, I do feel closer to my family and close friend these days.

I feel that due to bullying and other life difficulties, I never really became my own person? I copied others to fit in or at least not get bullied, but if you asked me who my friends were, what I liked, what my interests/hobbies were, I'm not sure I would've been able to tell you. I could list what others liked and how I try to share in that, but not my own interests. But I feel like I'm starting to have a personality of my own...that in a way, I'm growing into myself? I spent so much time wondering what was wrong with me and trying to fix myself or worrying about others, I never knew who I was. But I feel like I'm starting to become more aware of who I am, what I want from life and what I want my future to look like too.

Due to my awareness, I'm also starting to learn how I don't want to be treated and what I am unhappy with. I'm also trying to stand up for others too, though it will be a long time before that can happen. But this new awareness also means that I'm starting to have more trust and faith in myself. And the best thing is, I'm not faking it, it's real (I remember in school, for work experience, a teacher checked in with us and I said I felt more confident....I tried to believe it, but really, I think I was just saying that).

I've also become more objective and critical. Not in a bad way, just more open minded and ready to question stuff, whereas before, I would just believe everything I read. I've learnt so much, both from my own reading and also my time at university...it's helped me to feel empowered too. I feel this may also show in my responses to others too. I wrote my undergrad dissertation at 21, and I cringed reading it back because I could see I was desperately trying to be impressive with using the correct terminology, despite the fact I didn't have a good grasp of the concepts. It's like I was focused on sounding good, that the quality wasn't there. Last year, I did my MA dissertation and I have so much more respect for research. This time, I didn't try to be impressive, I just threw myself into my topic and it paid off! I also feel more humble and down to earth, now that I'm not focusing on trying to fit in or be impressive and can just start to be myself more. Like you Sarah, I also tend not to care so much about what others think these days either!

I'm nothing like the person I was when I first joined here when I was 16. I'm not who I was at 18, 21, or even 25. I've changed so much in the last few years, it's shocking. Though you wouldn't know, just by looking at me. I do worry though...I wonder if this change is also bad since I've also developed or realised other difficulties that I'm not sure were present before. I don't trust others so easily, and I feel like I could easily become detached from others without caring too much. I also struggle more with some kind of existential anxiety and feel like I have a lot to make up for in a short amount of time!

[Resilient]

When I was fresh out of high school I was a mess. I was full of anxiety and had no direction in life. I was self harming daily and talking to professionals at least that much. I’ve been in and out of the hospital at least 6 times and went through at least 14 jobs in 10 years. It took me 5 years just to get an associates degree. I could not talk on the phone from phone anxiety and I would not go anywhere, even shopping with family. I didn’t like the idea of being independent.

Now I’m talking on the phone, meeting friends for shopping and lunch, and am very friendly and outgoing, there is now not many, if any at all, that I don’t get along with.

It has been so long now since I last self harmed, that I don’t even know how many years it’s been since I last did it.

I’ve held my current job almost 2 years, when before the longest I’d ever held a job was 6 months. I am helping people by helping them cope with mental illness as someone who is constant in their life, as well as help point them in the right direction as my current job.

Currently I am working on getting into nursing school, then who knows?

If I can make this big of a turnaround so can all of you