Absent goals

[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"]As a kid I never really had goals or anything... like I had ideas of what I wanted out of life but could never stick with them and would just do something else. I don’t remember being depressed but a lot of my childhood was a blur. Still can’t stick with any goals as they change too fast and I get overwhelmed[/size]

Hi, thanks for reaching out to us. I'm sorry you are struggling to maintain your goals and sticking to it; it isn't easy for a lot of people, it isn't just you! One of the things that's important to remember is this: make sure your goal is realistic! Don't be too hard on yourself if it doesn't work out the way you want it to or when you want it to.

One of the things I've heard time and time again is to keep a to-do list of daily tasks. It'll help you better prioritize what needs to be done, first on a daily basis and then in the long term. If it seems too tedious or boring to you, perhaps you can make it fun! For example, if you do two things on your to-do list, then reward yourself with say an episode of your favorite TV show.

That way, it'll make you want to stay on top of things.

If you need to reach out again, please don't hesitate to do so. Take care!

[Mallika]

Hello there!

Thank you for your honest sharing.

I want to assure you that you are definitely not the only one. A lot of people don't have concrete goals at the present moment; we only don't realise this because we only hear stories of goal-driven people all the time. The reality is, the number of people who have their life "figured out" is really low. And even for such people who think they have their goals set and figured out, have their plans being thwarted all the time. I say this with confidence because I belong to this group of people - I've always been super goal-driven, but all said and done, circumstances and scenarios have changed all the time, and many of my goals never ended up happening. That's just how life works! When I was in high school, I was dead certain that I wanted to go to medical college, and I worked hard for it because I was set on it. But things happened in such a way that every door closed; for all my ambition and goals, there was just no way I could go to medical school. Instead, life brought me down another path of studying genetics, which I'm completely satisfied with today.

I'm not discouraging anyone from keeping goals; I would still highly encourage them. But what I'm trying to say here is that you shouldn't worry too much if you feel that you're unable to think of concrete goals. Goals will appear before your eyes when they are meant to come, so if you don't have some immediately, don't get too stressed. Take it one day at a time. I completely second Serendipity; making a to-do list for each day is an incredibly powerful tool in boosting productively. I vouch for it, 100%.

Also, don't worry about not remembering things from childhood - it happens. I wanted to be a gymnast, detective, actress, travel agent, etc. in my childhood, but today I want to do something else in my field of study. Goals and dreams shift all the time!

If you feel that you are missing some goals in your life and want to explore different arenas, that would be a very healthy and conducive train of thought, because it shows that you want to do something productive with your life. A great way to start would be to think of the hobbies or school subjects (if you are a student) you are presently interested in. For example, perhaps you like modern dance? Or repairing machines? Or you love photography? In school, for example, you enjoy history and biology the most? On a piece of paper or a journal/notebook, make a list of these things you are interested in. Rank them - which ones do you enjoy the most? This is a powerful technique, because you are going by what you like, hence this will make your day-to-day activities more enjoyable for you, even in the long-term! Ever wondered why scientists spend their whole lives working on the same topic and never seem to get bored? Because they have narrowed down that xyz is their ultimate area of interest, and that's what keeps them going. Hence, using this technique will help you find something you are excited to work because you truly enjoy it, and it might even become your long-term thing!

Now, time to harness the power of the internet. Try searching for work experience opportunities or internships/observerships in these different areas you have listed down. Even finding opportunities in a couple of them will go a long way. Or if you know someone among your friends/family who works in a certain job you are keen on knowing more about, contact them and see if they can arrange something for you. This way, try out a few different activities. More often than not, we discover new goals by stepping out into the real world of work experience. I've learnt one thing - sometimes we have to go through the seeming arduous task of creating opportunities for ourselves, but that is very rewarding in the long-term.

At the end of the day, with some introspection, you'll definitely find something that tickles your fancy. But remember, keep realistic goals, always! Also, it's completely okay to fail You can always pick yourself up and try again, or try something else. After all, we only have one shot at life. From a very macroscopic perspective, it doesn't matter whether you have a few, simple goals or a bunch of overly ambitious goals; as long as you're satisfied with the way you're living, I think that's something you should feel super proud of yourself about