Triggering (SH): Cutting, nothing helps.

[Xx Razorblade xX]

Hi everyone,

I am new here & I really just need a place to thow around my thoughts I guess.

I have been struggling with depression and selfharm for about 2years now, when my parents found out they got onto a specialised teen therapist.. he was nice and everything and I guess it made me more understanding of what was going on but it never really changed anything.

Eventually it was deemed that I was 'fine' and I stopped going, long story short I got more depressed and the cutting got worse. I contemplated suicide.

I started seeking help again and saw a doctor, got on effexor and got referrals to another psychologist. Once again I was deemed fine by the psychologist and I still take effexor.

Today I cut in the shower and was bleeding LOTS and it wouldnt stop, evidently I got it everywhere and I couldnt find any bandages so I had to go to my mum.

She freaked(first time and it really upset me) saying that I need to get over this stupid habit and that I have no reason to be doing it ect.


Yeah, there is really no point to this other then me venting I suppose..

[krstnrcksbtt]

Hi, first off, if you ever want to talk to anyone, you can send me a message. I've dealt with this first hand, so I know how you're feeling.
Also, it is a bad habit and I hope that you're considering quitting. I know that it's hard, but I found it easier to quit when I had some support. My boyfriend and I both quit something together. My was obviously cutting, but his was something else, but either way it made it easier to stick to it.
Also, I think that your mom was wrong when she said that it's "stupid" and you have "no reason", but that it just my personal opinion. Have you ever talked to her or anyone about why you feel the need to cut?
Also, it's not stupid, but it is very dangerous. It's also a natural high, because it releases endorphins. So even if you don't have a specific reason, that could also be it. People argue this all the time, but I believe that cutting actually can be an addiction.
Anyway, like I said, if you want to talk, please, ask me.

[Xx Razorblade xX]

Thank-you for the reply

I have talked to both therapists about it, didn't really help.

Again thanks for the offer of support

[XxLoveIsALuxuryxX]

It's not "stupid" and you obviously aren't doing it for "no reason." Nobody cuts for "no reason."
I understand what you're saying, and in all honesty, I know you feel like talking to people doesn't help at all, but it does. The difference is talking to someone who is PAID to listen and someone who is WILLING to listen. It can also be helpful to talk to someone who is doing the same thing, as long as you don't egg each other on.
Depression is a dark hole and it's I know it feels inescapable, but the best thing you can do is throw yourself into something--a new project, writing a book, drawing, starting a small (no cash required) company, etc.
But also know that it's okay. It's okay to feel hurt and unsure. We're all walking around hurt and unsure, even the people who seem fine.
The best thing you can live by is "No matter how bad a day I am having, there is ALWAYS someone out there who has it ten times worse." It doesn't sound helpful now, but I hope you'll understand.