10 Months and Still Feel like Cutting

[Tonight]

As stated above I've been free of SH for over 10 months and lately it's been so hard not to cut.I had a baby he's 9 weeks now and things have been going great.Since being pregnant I had to stop smoking weed and smokes (I gave in a few times during pregnancy unfortunatly).I've recently started smoking again though it's only 1 a day (I know it's really bad considering I'm breastfeeding,please don't judge).

Lately though,especially at night,my mind obsesses over bad things that have and are still happening to me and I really feel like cutting.Before I was pregnant I'd smoke weed and it would calm my mind down and get my mind on other things but I can't do that now.I've tried writing and reading and many other things but nothing works to take my mind off things.

I don't know if I'm asking for advice or just ranting or trying to take my mind off of things but any advice would be appreciated

[BeautifulDisaster95]

Just think of your baby (: Your baby needs you. If youe ver just need to talk about anything i'm here (:

[MadPoet]

Hey,

It kind of sounds like it wasn't too hard for you to give up self harm before, because you had other ways of feeling better. But now that you can't engage in those activities, the urge to self harm is coming back, or finally hitting.

The thing is, now that you have a baby it's even more important to be making healthy decisions for yourself and for your baby. I'm sure you've realized that the instant you become pregnant it's not "how does this effect me?" it's "how does this effect my baby and I?" You have to think about your baby just as much as you think about yourself, if not more.

And keeping your baby in mind, do you think you're going to do the best job possible raising him if you're constantly distracted by wanting to smoke weed or wanting to self harm? For these reasons I really think you should try to look for some healthier alternatives.

There are a lot of other ways to calm your mind down. Make sure you have some time to yourself without your baby. Go out with some friends and get your mind off of things. Have someone you can talk to about these things you stress over, that's also a great way to get things out of your mind.

You owe it to yourself and your baby to overcome this. I know you can do it.

[Maloo]

This probably won't really make you feel better, but I want you to know you're not alone. It's been just about a year since I've last done it, and I still want to.

I'm just hoping that if I stay clean, it will eventually be a part of my past, and not the present.