I'm afraid I'm going to go back to cutting?

[Coreless_Serenity]

I've been self-harm free since 1/14/11. The only reason I stopped is because I went to a mental hospital for the second time for a week. I'd been cutting for months, and I went to the hospital for the first time in December. I relapsed and everything just got worse. I'm afraid the same thing will happen again. I'm better than I was, but I'm still depressed. Cutting was an addiction for me, and I want to cut so bad when I feel really down. It stopped the mental pain for awhile, and I just feel like a need it again. What should I do? I'm scared I'll give into the need again and just be right back where I was.

[BeautifulDisaster96]

Hi,
Well first off let me say congradulations on making it that long! the first while is always the hardest. While you should really really try your hardest to not cut agian at all, if you do relapse don't make it the end of the world. tell yourself you CAN bounce back. Also, you said you want to do it when you're feeling down, have you tried any alternatives? Do you have anyone to confide in that knows about your history with self harm? If you do it might be helpful to try and talk to them and tell them how you're feeling. If you have no one to confide in try just keeping hopeful. Think about how proud you're going to be of yourself if you resist the urge. Cutting offers temporary releif, quitting is for life. Good luck and PM me if you want to talk or need anything.

[Storyteller.]

Hi Shelby.

Believe it or not, you've already made an important first step in overcoming self harm - reaching out. By making this thread, you've told yourself that you want to get better, and at the same time started to build up a support network: us. The first thing I'm going to tell you is this: you're not alone. You don't have to try and do this by yourself; in fact, I'd recommend against it. There are people in your life who want to, and can, help, and it's perfectly okay to ask for, and receive, their support and advice.

Here's a link to a list of the alternatives Hailey mentioned. They can be useful in beating intense or immediate urges, and I'd definitely encourage you to try implementing them.

Cutting - or any form of self harm, really - can easily become a sort of addiction, which can make it hard to overcome. Notice that I say hard and not impossible. You can get through this. I really believe that, and you should too.

Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Friends? Family members? Counsellors? How you're feeling is important, and you should be able to discuss it with someone who'll be supportive and non-judgmental. If you're still feeling depressed, seeking help for it can be the difference between getting better and feeling low for a long time.

One more thing I'd like to draw attention to: the difference between want and need. You said that you feel like you need self harm. Take a moment and think about wanting versus needing. You need things like water, food, and shelter. You want things like soft pillows and junk food and, as you said, self harm. But those are things you can live without. You can learn to live without self harm. It's a scary concept, but it's possible.

All the best.