Triggering (SH): after-affects.

[socoquettealii]

so, about 2 weeks ago, my mom and sister found out about my bad coping mechanism; self-harm. i had been self-harming for about 1 year now, and was constantly neglected at home till the point where when i had the chance to speak on it, i couldn't breathe. because of how hard i cried that day, i left some tiny bruises on the side of my eyes. it was horrible.

i was told that if i ever needed help that i could talk to someone-- a therapist. and my mom also said to my sister that i was gonna cause her a lot of problems. the way she said it would forever be ingraved in my mind. i burst out into tears. i felt like i was a mistake. i would self-harm with scissors, edited and cut the skin on my left wrist. i would do this until i couldn't anymore, or if blood started dripping. i constantly covered up my body, not only because of insecurities my mom put me through, but also because of the scars. i only ever told 2 people about my self harm. my 2 best friends, well, just friends now.

after that, my sister went through my phone, and found nothing since they took it away before, i knew they were gonna try to find something, so i deleted everything. no traces were left. i haven't made contact with it since, and i probably never will.

im quite young, so please give me advice, i really have nobody to confide into. thank you for reading. <3

[Ennui.]

Hey,

You mentioned that if you ever needed help you could talk to a therapist. Is that something your mom offered? I would strongly encourage taking her up on that offer. Therapists are great because they offer unbiased advice and do not judge you. They entered the profession because they care about you and want to see you get better. If you're up front about the self harm from the beginning they might not have to tell your mom every single time you engage in self harm as long as they don't think you're at risk of doing something worse or don't think you're in need of medical attention.

I think the important thing is developing healthier coping mechanisms so you no longer have to rely on self harm. Maybe if you show that you are making an active effort to stop self harming your mom will give you your phone back. Here is a list of tons of alternatives you can try when you have the urge to self harm. If one doesn't work for you, you can try another one. It may also take using one alternative multiple times to get it to stick. Try a few different ones because having multiple coping mechanisms under your belt can help if one doesn't work in the moment.

For the scars, if your mom is willing to take you to a dermatologist or even your primary care doctor, there are ointments out there that they can prescribe that are supposed to reduce the appearance of the scars. I haven't used any of them myself but maybe that will help?

[socoquettealii]

yes, the therapist idea was my mom's offer, thank you for the advice. i really appreciate it. <3

[WhisperingSilence]

Hey, I think it would be a good idea to perhaps take your mum up on the offer of talking to a therapist , if you are in school ( which I’m assuming you are) you could also ask at school to speak to a school counsellor too.
Something I find that helps me when I want to self harm is doing some colouring and listening to calming music on YouTube, or doing something like going for a walk or sitting in nature and watching the ducks on the pond. Perhaps that’s something you could also try.
You mentioned scars - there’s a product called bio oil which is great for helping scars to fade I don’t think it costs alot either, there’s also a product called cocoa butter which is also great for scars too. Perhaps you could ask your mum to buy you either of these products?

[socoquettealii]

oh, alright. thank you! <3

[Dawn.]

Hi Alina,
I'm sorry to hear what you are going through.
I would also suggest speaking to a therapist about how you are feeling as it may be able to help you. It certainly did for me. They will give you strategies to help you not self-harm anymore and there are some such as doing yoga, going for a walk or keeping a journal. I hope this helped.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello Alina,

Welcome to Teenhelp, I am so sorry that you are going through this and I hope that you will be okay soon. Sometimes when we are going through something it can be hard to open up and talk about this. Sometimes we may feel that others maynot understand, when we are able to open up to someone about what we are going through, they are able to help us out so that we feel better soon. Talking to a therapist is a great idea, what everyone is saying. Also when you have the feeling to self harm, try getting your mind off of this for a while and that can be anything from, going for a walk or hike or reading for a while or drawing or painting or if you enjoy baking or cooking or calling a friend or watching funny movies or TV shows or something else that you enjoy doing and try doing them for a while to help you to feel better and if you have to do a few of them, that is okay. You want to try finding something to get your mind off of this so that you don't self harm. I hope that you will be okay soon and we are happy that you joined us.

[socoquettealii]

hello! thank you both for the advice, i appreciate it. <3