TeenHelp - Late relapse

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- - Late relapse (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t165221-late-relapse/)

Hey there, it's been a while since I've been here (06 represent, lol). Anyway, I relapsed last year for the first time in 12 years last year and then a year later (3 weeks ago, and about a week later.

But that was when I was 18 and I'm 31 now. Does anyone else have this problem? I feel really immature.

Re: Late relapse

First, welcome back!

I'm 27 years old and never really stopped self harming, so I totally get feeling immature. But sometimes people go back to what they know and what gave them comfort in the past, even if it wasn't a healthy coping mechanism to begin with. There's some comfort in what you know.

I want to say that even though you had a relapse it doesn't erase all of the amazing progress you made. 12 years is fantastic and you should be so proud of yourself! It shows that you can get through this and make it another 12 years and then even longer after that.

Sometimes we have to take things one day at a time, or even one minute at a time. One thing that some people do when it comes to self harm is say "I'll self harm in five minutes if I still feel like this." Then they see that they made it five minutes, and they say "I'll wait another five minutes," and so on. Put it off for longer and longer, because the urge will fade with time. It's hard to wait, so definitely try and find things to do to fill your time while you're putting it off.

This is a list of alternatives you can try. There are a ton there so if one doesn't work for you, there are plenty more to try. Write down the ones that work best for you. My favorite alternative is the TIP skill. Change the temperature by using an ice pack, taking a cold shower, or dunking your head in cold water. The I is for intense exercise. There are technically two Ps, one is progressive muscle relaxation and one is paced breathing. I gravitate towards the change in temperature the most. I have a migraine cap I put on my head.

I know you'll get back on track! This is just a temporary bump in the road.

Best wishes,
Dez

Re: Late relapse

Hello, I am so sorry that this is happening and I hope that you are doing okay now and you are always welcome to post more for help. :hug:

Re: Late relapse

Hey, I was self harm free for around 6 months prior to that it was about 2 years, in September this year (2024) I relapsed. Relapses are a normal part of recovery. I know of people who have been self harm for free years and due to life events and circumstances have relapsed numbers of years later.
When we get stressed and things becoming overwhelming, we often feel tempted to revert back to old coping strategies, for some this may be drugs, or alcohol etc for others it may be self harm, its normal to relapse.
I try and now view my relapses as 'little blips' .

Re: Late relapse

Hi there, welcome back! I'm sorry to hear you've relapsed, but it's important not to be hard on yourself!

Has there been anything that happened recently that caused you to SH for the first time in twelve years? I would suggest going over recent events in your life (or on a broader level) and try to pin-point if any of that was a trigger. Is there anything that can be done about it, whether short term or long term? If it seems like something that can't be fixed or changed immediately, or ever, then what can you do to prevent yourself from SHing again? I would also suggest reaching out to others so they can support you during this time.

Wishing you the best of luck!