Triggering (SH): Started cutting again

[Nikk]

I used to be 2 years clean from cutting. Then I started again a few months ago but once my bf saw the scars he got upset and made me promise not to do it again. I feel so bad about breaking my promise. I love him so much and I know it hurts him too when I do this but I feel like I can't help it. When I'm really upset I start having violent thoughts about hurting myself or other people. I feel like if I don't cut myself then I'll end up hurting other people. All that emotion just builds up yk? I don't have another outlet for it. I know there are other alternatives but I can never keep my mind distracted for long enough. I hate myself. I just want to be happy. I used to smoke cigarettes but I stopped because my bf told me to. But now he doesn't care and smokes them himself. He was the person I got them from but he's moving away tomorrow and I won't be able to see him until I turn 18. I hate my life. Everything's going to shit

[Astro04]

Hello,
Things are bad, but it will get worse if you continue cutting. What happens between you and your bf is something that might you think about what happened. That was indeed a hard hit to your feelings, but I hope it will make you think.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello,

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with this and hope that you will be okay soon. First you should be proud of yourself for making it over two years. That is something to be proud of. When we self-harm it can be for different reasons, we are trying to find a way to help us with what we are going through and we feel this is helpful. It is good to find healthy ways to cope and help us when we are having a hard time with this and we are not self harming. For example, when you are having a hard time it is a good idea to find something to help you get your mind off of this for a while, going for a walk around your house or reading a book for a while or drawing or painting or writing or calling a friend or putting on a funny movie or TV show or listening to music or something else that you enjoy doing. Sometimes when we get the first to do this and we are trying a few things and it is not working, we may need to try more things to help take our minds off of this, if that happens try not to get upset because you are trying to help yourself feel better about what is happening. I wish you the best with this and hope that you will be okay soon.