Swim Suit and SH (Triggering SH)

[Ellsie]

Hi, I'm Ellsie and this is my first post. I'm not too interested in opening up yet, so I'm not really going to go into feelings here, just the situation. Basically, I'm in swim at school and usually my obvious SH are hidden well, but not with the bathing suit. It's under my underarm area, where the sides of a bra would cover. But the suit shows them. They are only scars there, the fresh ones are dispersed on my body, trying to make it look natural and not as suspicious. But the scars make the situation painfully obvious as it's a group of them going in the same direction. Any advice, or believable stories to explain everything?

[DeletedAccount53]

Originally Posted by Ellsie

Hi, I'm Ellsie and this is my first post. I'm not too interested in opening up yet, so I'm not really going to go into feelings here, just the situation. Basically, I'm in swim at school and usually my obvious SH are hidden well, but not with the bathing suit. It's under my underarm area, where the sides of a bra would cover. But the suit shows them. They are only scars there, the fresh ones are dispersed on my body, trying to make it look natural and not as suspicious. But the scars make the situation painfully obvious as it's a group of them going in the same direction. Any advice, or believable stories to explain everything?

First of all, I warmly welcome you to Teen Help. People here are friendly and they care very much for everyone's welfare including yours.

I wear similar scars, but from being maltreated by a vicious mother long since dead, and a father also dead from alcoholism.

This is the first time I've spoken openly about the scars on my back, legs and the same for Julie my beloved twin. Our mother put a horse whip to me for standing up to her and protecting Julie. Except our scars do not and have not, ever, defined us. Yet, we wear full swimming costumes, but even so, they do not hide all those scars done to us when we were 11.

But it took some doing to summon courage to swim and ignore blatant stares from those around us. So I know how you feel, but do not, if it is possible, to feel shame. Or guilt. Because self-injuring has always been a safety valve as it were, to release the inner pain that 'SI' causes. But please keep your wounds clean. That is vital.

I am not familiar with the US medical admissions, that is to say if you can go to a hospital or see your doctor alone. I don't know, but I think other friends here from the US could advise you better. Please, just know you are not alone here in this lovely site.

There is no timeline to open up here. It is within your way to share as little or as much as you wish to do. My sharing about my scars is the first time this evening on the board.

Have you someone close at school or socially who you could confide to? If not, there are some here who are very good at help, or take a look at Teen Help Resources: http://www.teenhelp.org/resources/



Wendi

[Everglow.]

Hi Ellsie, welcome to Teenhelp. Thank you for posting and introducing yourself - first of all I hope you're getting to know the forums and site well. If you're struggling to navigate or anything feel free to let somebody here know and we're always happy to help. Also, perhaps consider posting in the Arrivals and Departures forum if you fancy it - it's a really good place to let everyone know you've arrived, and people are very friendly.

Covering up SH scars is always a challenge, and obviously nobody here will ever encourage you to continue hurting yourself. However, for the scars you do have there might be some options. I'm not sure how well this will work as I haven't been in the same situation or tried it, but you could try applying some water proof concealer or make up to the areas yoour swimming costume doesn't cover. It may not be perfect though, but it might make them 'disappear' enough to stop unwanted attention. Depending on the rule or how youe swim team works, you could also try keeping a towel on until you're ready to swim so that the areas with scars on are not exposed for too long. Once you are in the water, chances are people will be focusing on other things rather than on what you look like.

Another option, if you feel comfortable, would be to confide in a member of staff or friend on the team about what the scars really are. It won't necessarily stop the questions, but having someone on your side might help take the pressure off of your shoulders a bit. If you do this, ensure you trust this person and feel comfortable talking to them - hopefully there is someone who can support you.

Remember there are tonnes of resources to help with issues relating to SH, and SH should never be a coping mechanism you rely on. There are many many ways you can stop self harming and move onto reliable and personalised alternatives. Try having a look here if you're curious and try a few of the ideas out. They've been really helpful for me, and I hope they will be for you too.

Once again, welcome to the forums! I hope I've helped a bit and that you find something that works for you. Remember if you ever want to ask any more advice, or even just make some new friends, we're happy to help.

[Ellsie]

Originally Posted by Pork Chops

First of all, I warmly welcome you to Teen Help. People here are friendly and they care very much for everyone's welfare including yours.

I wear similar scars, but from being maltreated by a vicious mother long since dead, and a father also dead from alcoholism.

This is the first time I've spoken openly about the scars on my back, legs and the same for Julie my beloved twin. Our mother put a horse whip to me for standing up to her and protecting Julie. Except our scars do not and have not, ever, defined us. Yet, we wear full swimming costumes, but even so, they do not hide all those scars done to us when we were 11.

But it took some doing to summon courage to swim and ignore blatant stares from those around us. So I know how you feel, but do not, if it is possible, to feel shame. Or guilt. Because self-injuring has always been a safety valve as it were, to release the inner pain that 'SI' causes. But please keep your wounds clean. That is vital.

I am not familiar with the US medical admissions, that is to say if you can go to a hospital or see your doctor alone. I don't know, but I think other friends here from the US could advise you better. Please, just know you are not alone here in this lovely site.

There is no timeline to open up here. It is within your way to share as little or as much as you wish to do. My sharing about my scars is the first time this evening on the board.

Have you someone close at school or socially who you could confide to? If not, there are some here who are very good at help, or take a look at Teen Help



Wendi

Thank you for the warm welcome and the advice Wendi, I really appreciate it! I'm so sorry you and Julie had to go through that though. Just so you know, I am going to take a break for a while from forums and emailing, but I will probably reply to the emails you have already sent first. Something happened on Tuesday, and I've been a bit messed up since. I think I would benefit from a break. Sorry to be so unreliable, I won't be so bad once I'm in a better place.
Hugs,
Ellsie

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello Ellsie,

Thank you so much for joining teenhelp and telling us about what you have been going through, you have done a wonderful job coming on and telling us all of this. You can try using waterproof makeup to help you to cover them up. Some of the places that you can find this at would be, Amazon, Target, Meijers, Walmart,
Walgreens and you're local pharmacy. When you have time you can look at these places and see if something can help you out with this so that you feel better when you are around the other people. The waterproof makeup will stay on you until you want to take it off, then no one will know about the self harming.

When you are having a hard time with this try to do something to get you're mind off of this for a while so that you will be okay soon. For example going for a walk around your house or reading for a while or drawing or painting or calling a friend or putting on a funny movie or TV show or something else that you enjoy doing. I wish you the best with this and hope that you will be okay soon.