is this self harm

[wenwei]

i started shooting rubber bands at my wrist...like bout 2 years ago till now.i do it when i hate myself,hate this world and so on....my friend saw red marks on my wrist n after knowing what happened.she told me not to do it again.but not shooting rubber band on my wrist make me feel more pain and more sad. my heart sometime hurt a lot....it is just like suddenly u will feel something puling my heart,it hurts quite a lot sometime. shooting rubber band at wrist is it called self harm?why do i feel sudden pain at my heart sometime?

Welcome to TeenHelp.

I would say that yes, in your case shooting rubber bands at your wrist is a form of self-harm, since you're doing it when you feel sad and you're doing it to feel pain. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling to the point where you feel you need to hurt yourself. I want you to know that you are not alone. There are many others who struggle with self-harm and it's not a battle you have to fight by yourself. We are here to support you.

I've generally found that when the urge to self-harm is strong it can help to distract oneself. There are many great ways to find distractions, including the alternatives list located in the sticky section of this forum. Are there activities you enjoy doing that can give your mind a break? Some things that come to mind are reading, writing, movies, shows, puzzles, crafts, dancing, talking with a friend, going outside, gardening, exercise, and volunteering. There are a number of things you can do; it's mostly a matter of finding a few that work best through you. It may take some trial and error to figure out what works but I think you can pull through. You don't have to keep hurting yourself. There are other ways to cope with painful emotions. Hopefully, in time, as you learn how to manage your pain, you can address the issues that are causing you distress. But for now, focus on trying to treat yourself with kindness and compassion. You are a valuable person deserving of love and kindness, and you deserve to be able to show that kindness to yourself. While it's easier said than done, a little kindness goes a long way.

Remember that we are here to support you. If you need anything else feel free to PM me. My inbox is always open and I am happy to listen.

[Sophrosyne]

Hey,

Firstly welcome to TeenHelp! It's great that you've come for advice and I hope we can help in some way.

Shooting a rubber band at your wrist can be an alternative to self harm, but it can reach a point that it becomes self harm in itself. I don't like recommending it as an alternative for that reason. In your case, I would say it has become self harm.

For some information on self harm, it does make you feel good. That's why people do it. It releases endorphins that makes you feel good. For the same reason, that's why it's so hard to stop. We get addicted to the good feeling of it and when we don't do it the good feeling goes away and what we were trying to get rid of comes back stronger. There is one upside to this, there are so many other things that can give you that same rush of endorphins that are so much less damaging. For you, what you do isn't that dangerous but from there it can develop for the worst so it is better to stop before it gets worse. Regardless of how bad it is for you, it will still hurt and you don't deserve to be hurt. We are all here to support you and if you ever want any advice we are always here.

As I said before, there are heaps of alternatives to self harm. There is a list here that can give you some, but using a rubber band is on that list so ignore that one. There are also distractions on that list that would help for at school and where you can't do alternatives. Some ones that you could use are reading a book, watching a movie, taking a shower, going for a walk, or even just playing with a pet if you have one. All of these should be done out of reach of a rubber band or anything else you could use. Some alternatives could be rubbing ice on your skin, doing exercise which could also be a distraction, ripping up paper, or writing done everything you are feeling and then rip it up. You could even draw on yourself if you wanted to, with a sharpie as normal pens can hurt.

You don't have to go through this alone, feel free to PM any of us whenever you want, or even go on Live Help or HelpLINK. It's up to you. We are always here to support you.

Take care.