cutting

[banana_smoothie]

hi guys
does anyone have any ideas on how to stop self harming. My cuts are getting deeper and I'm doing it more regularly. Any advice would be helpful

Hey there and welcome to TeenHelp!

I'm sorry you are struggling with self-harm but I just want to say you made a big step by reaching out here. Reaching out for help is a big contribution to recovery and you are more than welcome to seek advice/support here anytime you need. On the subject of support, is there anyone in your life you can open up to regarding your self-harm? Such as a parent, a family member or trusted teacher? Having support and someone to talk to can make a big difference.

May I ask why you began self-harming in the first place? If you don't feel comfortable talking about it than I respect that. I just want to let you know you are welcome to talk about it. Opening up can help, and I wanted to add that while beating urges are a big part of recovery, dealing with the issues that contribute (if possible) with healthy coping mechanisms are a big part of it too.

Self-harm generally does worsen the longer it does on. Self-harm releases endorphins which become addictive and the more you do it, the more you'll feel urges therefore self-harming more. Both exercise and sunlight has the same effect (releasing endorphins). Maintaining a routine of at least 20 minutes of exercise and sunlight, say, a walk or jog while it's light out may help boost your mood and reduce urges. You could exercise when you are faced with difficult urges as well because it could reduce the intensity.

Have you taken a look through the self-harm alternatives list (here)? There's a rather large list of all sorts of things you can do when you get urges to self-harm, even a list for when you're feeling sad, lonely, angry etc. Since it's a big list, I suggest slowly trying each one that is possible until you find several that help you. Some people find it beneficial to try them a few times because some work at different times for them depending on how bad the urges are or what triggered the urges. Distractions and hobbies are a good idea so that you have things to turn to when the urges get overwhelming. Relaxing hobbies can help relieve stress and distract you for long periods of time, such as coloring or doing jigsaw puzzles for example. That's just an example, though. Find hobbies that you personally enjoy and put them in place of when you usually self-harm.

Self-harming can become an emotional outlet but as you know, it's a negative one and it's addictive. So when you're recovering, it's important to develop healthier emotional outlets in its place so you aren't bottling up your feelings. You can do this in lots of creative hobbies. Such as poetry, short stories, song-writing, crafts, drawing, painting, learning a musical instrument etc. Do you have a journal? Writing down your feelings, thoughts, and what is happening in your day-to-day life can be a healthy outlet and a good way to vent when you need. On that note, keeping a journal to write down your triggers may help too. Identifying your triggers can be a helpful step in learning how to avoid them or find ways that help you cope. What triggers you to want to self-harm?

Taking your recovery step by step is important. An important acknowledgement is that relapses are a part of recovery, mostly any recovery for that matter. Rather than attempting to be self-harm free from now on, make it a goal to see how many days of each month or week you can be self-harm free and take it from there. Have you considered a self-harm free calendar? That is an idea I think may help some. It is where you have two different colored markers and one color will serve as a relapse, and one will serve as a marker that you made it through the day self-harm free. This way you can take it one day at a time and focus on trying to make it as many days self-harm free as possible, you know?

Small goals can be helpful such as trying to make it a week, and then once you reach that goal, two weeks. Rewarding yourself when you reach big goals can be good motivation. Buying yourself a song you've wanted for awhile, or an album for example. Just experiment with all types of things till you find a system that works for you personally, you know? I understand it isn't easy but you can do this. You're strong enough to beat self-harm. Don't give up on recovery and believe in yourself.

[Sophrosyne]

Hey!

Asking for help from self harming is a big step so I am extremely proud of you for taking that step. Reaching out is very important and even though not everyone will understand it is still important. So thank you. I hope we help a bit in the process.

Firstly, I would recommend taking a look at the self harm alternatives thread that Nala linked. It has some alternatives including ones that give you the same sensation as cutting would although they are a lot better for you, and do not leave scars or marks for long periods of time. I hope the list helps.

I have come to understand that when you have people supporting you to stop, it helps with the process. I found that even posting in the self harm free thread, it helped me go long times without self harm as it made me feel prouder of myself when I could visually see how well I was doing, and I had the support of others to help encourage me to keep going. So even that might be a good idea. You could also talk to school counsellors, chaplains, nurses, teachers although they will have to tell your parents if what you say concerns them, friends or family. These are just a few people. You could even tell just any trusted adult if you don't feel comfortable telling your parents. As I said before, not everyone will understand why you are doing it, or even what they should do to help. Some people will ignore the problem and just pretend nothing is wrong, others will have a negative reaction and freak as they don't know what to do in the situation. BUT, not everyone is like that so don't be discouraged. There are many people who help a lot and support you, having a positive reaction to the situation. Just as long as you trust the person you tell, then I'm sure it will all go well. You don't have to tell someone though, but it is recommended.

As Nala said, even though self harming is a negative coping skill, it is still a coping skill. It works for people but it has a negative side effect. Finding some positive coping skills instead will help to get rid of the urges, as long as you find one that works for you. Not every coping strategy works for everyone, so find a suitable one. Also, knowing what triggers you and figuring out why you started in the first place will be good for finding a strategy that works.

Self harm generally does become worse the longer you do it, so finding an alternative is important. Self harm releases endorphins, that's why it helps. It gives the same feeling as exercise does for some. It becomes addictive so it does get hard to break the habit of it.

Setting goals would help, just take it a day at a time instead of one big step. Doing Ellie's idea might help, it seems like a good idea. Also giving yourself rewards when you make certain periods of time might help as well.