Triggering (SH): Cutting sounds like the right thing to do now

[Catlady]

I hate this. All I want to do is cut myself! All of these drugs surrounding me, and it's so tempting!! I have never abused drugs before but I really want too!! I can't take this! I hate feeling like this! It's not fair! A 15 year old shouldn't feel this way! I should be living my life! Not worrying about this!! So I will probably cut myself. Sorry Just hate this! SO MUCH. And want to hurt myself real bad. Oh well no one cares. I don't care what I do myself, just gonna end up being a failure anyways. So why not do what I want!
UPDATE: I relapsed again tonight after 7 days of being clean, which is longest I've gone since June. And it's ruined. Um. Yea. I have a lot of pain meds in me also, guess I abused them which I swore I wouldn't do. I don't know what the hell went wrong with me tonight. I couldn't stop cutting myself. I normally can do about 10 cuts and be done. But not tonight. I kept going. So. Anyways. Just wanted to update on this. I am really freaking mad at myself right now! So who knows if I won't do it again tonight. Gonna be a long night. Sorry I'm a sucky person. Don't think I even fit in here. I feel like a failure. I am probably going to scare away people. Just sorry. I would take this down and not have anyone waste their time typing responses one someone who doesn't matter but I don't know how too. Your all going to get so tired of me. I have so many issues. I feel like I'm posting too much. I'm so sorry!

[Normation]

I feel the same, i have friends but would they still accept me if they knew what an unstable wreck i am. I feel like it better to just to wear a mask than try to show them my real self, anyway you need to find a distraction or a hobbie like drawing or a sport or maybe anime, i find they help me to not self-harm

[Catlady]

Originally Posted by Normation

I feel the same, i have friends but would they still accept me if they knew what an unstable wreck i am. I feel like it better to just to wear a mask than try to show them my real self, anyway you need to find a distraction or a hobbie like drawing or a sport or maybe anime, i find they help me to not self-harm

I'm sorry you also feel this way I suck at everything so I don't have a distraction. Wish I had talents! But unfortunately I don't. I am glad you have distractions though! Stay strong! Message me if you ever need too

[Sophrosyne]

Hey!

You said you don't have any talents, this is just the first thing I noticed. This is absolutely not true! One talent that I can already list is helping other feel better even when you feel like crap, that is a special kind of talent. Everyone has a talent, you may have just not found it yet, but it is there and you will find it.

Relapsing is a part of recovery. Even though you relapsed, it is not the end of the world and you can get back up to 7 days. Maybe even longer if you resist the temptations. Having cut today is not something you should be proud of but you shouldn't feel guilty about it either. Self harm is not something to be guilty about. It is just a coping mechanism that seems to work sometimes, even though in the long run it will do more damage than help. Also having cut a lot more than usual is something that happens at a certain point. When your body gets used to cutting, you need more and more cuts to get the same feeling, that is probably what happened today. It is dangerous when you get there because at that point you are more addicted to cutting and you get worse and worse cuts. I have linked the alternatives in one of your other posts so if you feel like cutting, take a look at those and try some of those out.

Also just to mention, no one is getting tired of your posts. In fact we are glad that you are trying to get help and telling people what is happening so we can help. You definitely git in here as we are all struggling with something and you struggling is acceptable. There are heaps of people in the same position as you, but not getting help, and that is where you are different from them. You are taking a step forward and getting help and that is something to congratulate you on.

Abusing drugs can be very dangerous, depending on how many you took and how your body handles drugs. If you only took a few, you probably will not have a reaction to it, or if you do you will most likely just feel dizzy or a bit sick, that's all. If you took a lot that is very dangerous, and you may need to go to the hospital to watch you and how your body copes with them. If you did take a lot, generally it takes about a day for visible symptoms to kick in so just a heads up that it will be dangerous if you took a lot. I hope you didn't though.

You shouldn't be mad at yourself. I know when people do things wrong it is the natural instinct to get mad at yourself but being mad at yourself does not change the past, nor does it help the future. All you can do is tell yourself you will make it through another day and believe it. No matter how bad the actions you take in a day are, they will never stop you being amazing and incredible. Just remember that.

You can do this. I think you are wonderful and incredibly brave for even posting this and taking initiative and wanting help. You are unbelievably wonderful. I hope you make it through the rest of the day and it all goes well.

Stay strong and message me anytime you need or post a thread. ❤❤

[Catlady]

Originally Posted by Little Miss

Hey!

You said you don't have any talents, this is just the first thing I noticed. This is absolutely not true! One talent that I can already list is helping other feel better even when you feel like crap, that is a special kind of talent. Everyone has a talent, you may have just not found it yet, but it is there and you will find it.

Relapsing is a part of recovery. Even though you relapsed, it is not the end of the world and you can get back up to 7 days. Maybe even longer if you resist the temptations. Having cut today is not something you should be proud of but you shouldn't feel guilty about it either. Self harm is not something to be guilty about. It is just a coping mechanism that seems to work sometimes, even though in the long run it will do more damage than help. Also having cut a lot more than usual is something that happens at a certain point. When your body gets used to cutting, you need more and more cuts to get the same feeling, that is probably what happened today. It is dangerous when you get there because at that point you are more addicted to cutting and you get worse and worse cuts. I have linked the alternatives in one of your other posts so if you feel like cutting, take a look at those and try some of those out.

Also just to mention, no one is getting tired of your posts. In fact we are glad that you are trying to get help and telling people what is happening so we can help. You definitely git in here as we are all struggling with something and you struggling is acceptable. There are heaps of people in the same position as you, but not getting help, and that is where you are different from them. You are taking a step forward and getting help and that is something to congratulate you on.

Abusing drugs can be very dangerous, depending on how many you took and how your body handles drugs. If you only took a few, you probably will not have a reaction to it, or if you do you will most likely just feel dizzy or a bit sick, that's all. If you took a lot that is very dangerous, and you may need to go to the hospital to watch you and how your body copes with them. If you did take a lot, generally it takes about a day for visible symptoms to kick in so just a heads up that it will be dangerous if you took a lot. I hope you didn't though.

You shouldn't be mad at yourself. I know when people do things wrong it is the natural instinct to get mad at yourself but being mad at yourself does not change the past, nor does it help the future. All you can do is tell yourself you will make it through another day and believe it. No matter how bad the actions you take in a day are, they will never stop you being amazing and incredible. Just remember that.

You can do this. I think you are wonderful and incredibly brave for even posting this and taking initiative and wanting help. You are unbelievably wonderful. I hope you make it through the rest of the day and it all goes well.

Stay strong and message me anytime you need or post a thread. ❤❤

Hi Hillary Thank you for everything you said it really helped. Just when I relapse I become very easy because I think I am getting so much better and then I go back to where I was. As for the medication, I took 3 so really not that many.. But it just made me very dizzy. I feel fine now. It wasn't like a suicide attempt at all, just took enough to feel something. Anyways, thank you for all the kind words! Same goes to you, message me anytime❤️