Giving up self-harm.

[hocus pocus]

I wanted to do an article about self-harm. I was thinking of writing about how you have to be ready to give it up and you have to give it up for yourself and not for anyone else. I was thinking of explaining that, listing some reasons to stop self-harming, and some steps to take or ways to get support/deciding if you're ready to recover. I'm not sure if this will be long enough though.

Haven't started writing yet. I want to see what you think and if you have any ideas for other points to include?

Things you could include:

To make a list of reasons to stop cutting for when you are really struggling. Including the complications that can come along with self harm (it becomes an addiction, you end up having to go deeper and deeper)
Listing some alternatives or linking to the list of alternatives. I know I used to use livehelp all the time and chat room. So, you might want to include that you have to find alternatives that work for you.
Fighting the urges is the most important thing. Remembering that while the urges might be really intense they will pass. Might suggest that they play the 15 minute game when they are struggling with intense urges (I used a different 'game' and would make myself wait an hour because I knew 15 minutes wasn't long enough).

I don't know if any of this helps but I know these are the things that I had to learn while trying to overcome self harm for the past two and a half years.

If you need anything else or need some help in some way let me know.

[MsNobleEleanor]

I really like this idea Cassie!

Could you include some helpful resources to keep you safe, like from urges to self-harm and such? Or explaining if you feel like self-harming to ask yourself if those feelings will last a short time or long time, I guess keeping yourself safe during those times.

You could also mention about keeping yourself safe not just from cutting, but there is burning, picking, etc., I guess anything to cause harm to one's skin? (If that at all makes sense)

Maybe you can include things like, when feeling urges to have something with you, like a pet, blanket, etc., to help you go through those urges?

[Eternal]

I think it could also be beneficial to mention a couple of our other self-harm articles such as Seven steps to be self harm free or this older article Self Harm. I'm not sure how you're going to break up the sections but these could be used as resources. Both suggestions above are also good ideas, I don't see those covered much in past articles.

[hocus pocus]

I just spent a few hours writing this. I need a conclusion, and I also need to link threads that I have mentioned. I need to go back and mention the alternatives thread, and other articles that have already been written. I wanted to talk about what I think in regards to promising someone you won't self-harm but that's more of an opinion so I'm not sure if I can include that. Do you have anything else for me to include?

The road to recovery from self-harm is both a challenging and rewarding one. A lot of people struggle with different aspects, such as finding and sticking to alternatives, reaching out for help, and relapse. Recovery from self-harm is something that you have to want for yourself and yourself only. It can be tempting to recover for other people, but you have to be wanting and willing to do this for yourself. It's a lot of work and it isn't always easy. You can try recovering even if you do not want to, but you will make more long lasting progress if you are truly ready to recover.

Deciding to recover
Some people have a big moment that makes them want to stop self-harming. Their self-harm may become severe or even life threatening, for instance. A big and frightening incident could make them decide to stop self-harming. For others, it could be something that builds up over time. You know you're ready to recover when you want to self-harm to just "get it over with", or when you're ready for a positive change. [Cassie: Needs a lot of expanding but I feel stuck here.]

Being scared to recover
A lot of people are scared to recover at one point or another. Struggles or feelings can become a comfort to them, and leaving their comfort zones can induce anxiety. People's identities also tend to get wrapped up in their self-harm. They'll see self-harm as who they are when that is not the truth. To help counteract this, get a sheet of paper, write your name in the center, and draw a circle around it. Next, fill the page up with writing or pictures that show who you are without your mental health struggles. You might write that you're a good listener or that you like animals, for example. Consider writing a list of reasons to recover as well. [Cassie: Should I do an example for the first one?] The following is a list of reasons to recover:

• You deserve to treat your body kindly.
• You won't have to hide fresh injuries or scars.
• You won't have to hide paraphernalia.
• You won't have to worry about infections.
• You won't have to spend money on tools and first aid.
• You won't have to lie to friends and family.

[Cassie: Feel free to add some more, I could only think of a few at the moment.]

Finding alternatives
Anything healthy that keeps you from self-harming, like a hobby, is a good alternative. Finding alternatives can be hard, but just remember that different alternatives work for different people and their lifestyles. It might help to identify your triggers and how they make you feel. If one of your triggers is arguing, for example, think about how arguing makes you feel. Maybe it makes you feel angry. Once you know what your triggers are, try to avoid them, or cope with them in healthier ways when they arise. It helps to make your alternatives specific to how you feel. You might avoid arguing by excusing yourself from the room, or by telling the person that you would like to cool down before the conversation is continued. When arguments do happen, however, you might consider doing something to help release your anger, such as taking a jog or punching a pillow. The following is a list of alternatives to use for specific feelings:

• Anger: Anger is a dangerous emotion for a lot of people. Alternatives that are physical are well suited for feelings of anger. Exercise is a good way of helping anger. Exercise releases endorphins which will make you feel a little better. It's a way to get the release you're looking for without self-harm. You could also scream into a pillow, stomp your feet, punch a pillow or a punching bag, or listen to angry music.
• Anxiety: Anxiety can physically affect different areas of the body and cause a lot of discomfort for people. If you're anxious, you can try breathing exercises. Inhale and exhale slowly, and imagine releasing the anxiety inducing thoughts while exhaling. In addition to breathing exercises, try listening to guided imagery/meditation, positive affirmations, or nature sounds. You may find apps like the free version of iSleep Easy to benefit you. YouTube also has a lot of videos to help with anxiety. Adult coloring books are a popular tool to help calm you. You can purchase some on Amazon or at your local craft store. An app called Colorfy has plenty of pictures to color. Consider asking someone for a hug, or wrapping a blanket around you to feel more secure.
• Numbness: If you're feeling numb or dissociative, try to ground yourself. Pay close attention to your five senses. You might want to hold putty or a stress ball in your hands to keep busy. You could listen to music, eat a mint, or smell some perfume. Listen to the sound of yourself shuffling cards. You can also hold an ice cube or take cold/warm showers in effort to help yourself feel again.
• Sadness: If you're feeling sad, try to do things that put a smile on your face. Go on YouTube and watch funny animal videos, or call up a friend for a cheery conversation. Take a walk for a change of scenery and for some vitamin D from the sun. Have some chocolate or a favorite food to improve your mood. Paint your nails, or take a warm candlelit bath.

Another thing to consider when choosing alternatives is what you're looking for in self-harm. What do you like the most about self-harm? Perhaps it's the sight, the release, or the feeling of it. You can get those same things in healthier ways. You can do artwork in red paint, or you can write positive things on yourself in red marker. You can also exercise to release the chemicals that self-harm does, or you can hold an ice cube to your body to get a similar sensation.

Some alternatives will help you pass the time. For example, the fifteen minute game. Promise yourself that if you still want to self-harm in fifteen (or more) minutes, that you can. Distract yourself and when that fifteen minutes is up, add another fifteen minutes and so on. The goal is to eventually immerse yourself in something and lose track of time. Crack a glow stick and tell yourself that you can't self-harm until it is no longer glowing. Glow sticks last up to eight hours and they can last longer if you put them in the freezer.

Once you have some alternatives, think about making an alternative box. All you need is an old shoe box. Decorate it so that you'll want to open it up when you're struggling. Making this box can be an alternative in itself.

Consider moving tools to a different area of your home. Put them into another room so you will face multiple distractions when you go get them. If you can't do that, keep them in an area that is hard to get to, like the top of your closet. Consider telling yourself "I want to hurt myself" instead of "I want to [insert method of self-harm]" Doing this will allow you to acknowledged that self-harm is a harmful behavior. If there's a certain room you self-harm in, try to make it a safer place.

Fighting urges
The most important thing to remember when fighting self-harm urges is to remember that they will pass in time. No matter how intense or long they are, they are temporary. As time goes on, they will not be as frequent or as intense as they used to be. You will become stronger for every urge you beat. [Cassie: Need to expand here?]

What if my alternatives aren't working?
Self-harm alternatives can sometimes be similar to an exercise routine. If you've been doing the same exercise routine for a while, your body may adjust and stop showing results. Alternatives are very individualized and they can work the same way. If you find this happening, try some new ones and see what happens.

If you've tried every alternative you can and things are still too intense, you need more support. When you feel like this, you should talk to a professional or someone else you trust, or call a hotline.

[Cassie: Stuck between putting this whole part here and before the "reaching out for support" part.]

Goal setting
Setting goals and tracking progress is helpful for some, but it is not for everyone. Some people enjoy reaching their goals and having something to look forward to, but others find goals to be stressful because they are held over their heads. Consider starting with small goals, such as going a week without self-harm, and gradually increasing those goals. You can also give yourself a reward so you have something to look for. For every week you don't self harm, you could buy some new music, for example. If you're interested in tracking your progress, consider posting in the self-harm free thread.

Relapse
Relapse is part of recovery and it will happen from time to time. It's easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up over a relapse. You can't be expected to go from frequently using an unhealthy behavior to not using it ever again. Relapsing does not take any of your previous progress away. If anything, it shows how strong you've been and it shows that you can go just as long again, if not longer, without self-harming. What is most important about relapse is how you respond to it. Try to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on your journey.

Reaching out
Part of recovery is allowing other people to help you. This is something that is challenging for a lot of people because they aren't used to asking for help. If you want to talk to someone in person, consider asking them to talk so you can plan ahead of time. They are unlikely to forget your request, and they will probably bring it up. You can write down what you'd like to tell them and say it to them, or you can hand them the note and allow them to read it. If you're too nervous to talk to someone, you can hand them a note or communicate electronically. You could also receive support anonymously through hotlines or through TeenHelp. Write down different ways you can receive support and utilize those when you're struggling.

[Storyteller.]

I'll come through and edit this later on, but for now I have a few suggestions. To make it easier I'll list each under their respective subheading so it's easy to follow. I'm not sure how helpful they'll be, so feel free to pick and choose as usual.

Deciding to recover.
Here you could stress that while other people can support you on your journey or act as motivation during it, you should never try to 'get better' for someone else. It's your journey and you need to do it for yourself.

Being scared to recover.
Before you go into ways to combat the fear of recovering, maybe you could quickly mention that it's totally okay to be scared at first. I know you imply it with the first couple of sentences, but explicitly stating it might be a good idea - that way you're reinforcing the idea that accepting and dealing with emotions is better than just distracting yourself from them all the time.

Finding alternatives.
In this section I would stress that 'quitting self harm' is not enough - you need to replace it with other, healthier behaviours. You do go into that a bit, but I think it definitely needs emphasis because if you don't replace SH with something safer, you're likely to try to deal with the feelings in unhealthier ways. It also might help to clarify what you mean by 'alternative box' for those who haven't come across the term before.

Fighting urges.
You could talk about how every alternative you try is a learning experience, and although it might be slow going at first you'll gradually learn which alternatives work for you and that will in turn make it easier to deal with each urge. You could also go into how there might be spikes occasionally - so even when you feel like your recovery is going well, you might come across a suddenly intense urge - and how that doesn't mean you're going backwards or that the next urge will be that bad. And you could quickly mention that you can prepare in advance (such as knowing your triggers or making an alternative box, like you mentioned earlier) so that you don't panic in the face of an urge and instead can redirect your feelings towards a better pursuit.

What if my alternatives aren't working?
I think the part you mentioned might fit better near Reaching Out.

Goal setting.
You could say here that how open you are about your goals is up to you. For example you could tell a close friend every time you reach a goal so they can share your happiness, or you can keep your progress to yourself if you feel it would be more stressful to talk about it. It's a personal decision and you can be as open or otherwise as you want.

Relapse.
I've always tried to avoid using the term 'relapse' and using 'slip up' instead, because it's less black-and-white and less likely to conjure feelings of failure, so it might be worth a reminder in this section that recovery is a journey and there are bound to be bumps in the road, but that doesn't mean you're not still in recovery.

Reaching out.
Here you could put a quick list of people to talk to (friends, family members, professionals - you know the drill) just to give some examples.

Annd, there you go. As I said before, you're welcome to use any of these or none of these, and it's entirely your call.

[hocus pocus]

Your suggestions were great, Chess, thank you! I added them in. I still have to make sure I link threads in there. I can't get the black font to change to the regular color.

The road to recovery from self-harm is both a challenging and rewarding one. A lot of people struggle with different aspects, such as finding and sticking to alternatives, reaching out for help, and relapse. Recovery from self-harm is something that you have to want for yourself and yourself only. It can be tempting to recover for other people, but you have to be wanting and willing to do this for yourself. It's a lot of work and it isn't always easy. You can try recovering even if you do not want to, but you will make more long lasting progress if you are truly ready to recover.

Deciding to recover
Some people have a big moment that makes them want to stop self-harming. Their self-harm may become severe or even life threatening, for instance. A big and frightening incident could make them decide to stop self-harming. For others, it could be something that builds up over time. You know you're ready to recover when you want to self-harm to just "get it over with", or when you're ready for a positive change. While recovering for other people can be tempting, it's not the best idea. Recovery is your journey and it has to be done for yourself and yourself only.

Being scared to recover
A lot of people are scared to recover at one point or another and that is completely normal. Recovery is a huge step and it is more than okay to be afraid of it. Struggles or feelings can become a comfort to people, and leaving their comfort zones can induce anxiety. People's identities also tend to get wrapped up in their self-harm. They'll see self-harm as who they are when that is not the truth. To help counteract this, get a sheet of paper, write your name in the center, and draw a circle around it. Next, fill the page up with writing or pictures that show who you are without your mental health struggles. You might write that you're a good listener or that you like animals, for example. Consider writing a list of reasons to recover as well.The following is a list of reasons to recover:

• You deserve to treat your body kindly.
• You won't have to hide fresh injuries or scars.
• You won't have to hide paraphernalia.
• You won't have to worry about infections.
• You won't have to spend money on tools and first aid.
• You won't have to lie to friends and family.

[Cassie: Feel free to add some more, I could only think of a few at the moment.]

Finding alternatives
Anything healthy that keeps you from self-harming, like a hobby, is a good alternative. Finding alternatives can be hard, but just remember that different alternatives work for different people and their lifestyles. It might help to identify your triggers and how they make you feel. If one of your triggers is arguing, for example, think about how arguing makes you feel. Maybe it makes you feel angry. Once you know what your triggers are, try to avoid them, or cope with them in healthier ways when they arise. It helps to make your alternatives specific to how you feel. You might avoid arguing by excusing yourself from the room, or by telling the person that you would like to cool down before the conversation is continued. When arguments do happen, however, you might consider doing something to help release your anger, such as taking a jog or punching a pillow. The following is a list of alternatives to use for specific feelings:

• Anger: Anger is a dangerous emotion for a lot of people. Alternatives that are physical are well suited for feelings of anger. Exercise is a good way of helping anger. Exercise releases endorphins which will make you feel a little better. It's a way to get the release you're looking for without self-harm. You could also scream into a pillow, stomp your feet, punch a pillow or a punching bag, or listen to angry music.
• Anxiety: Anxiety can physically affect different areas of the body and cause a lot of discomfort for people. If you're anxious, you can try breathing exercises. Inhale and exhale slowly, and imagine releasing the anxiety inducing thoughts while exhaling. In addition to breathing exercises, try listening to guided imagery/meditation, positive affirmations, or nature sounds. You may find apps like the free version of iSleep Easy to benefit you. YouTube also has a lot of videos to help with anxiety. Adult coloring books are a popular tool to help calm you. You can purchase some on Amazon or at your local craft store. An app called Colorfy has plenty of pictures to color. Consider asking someone for a hug, or wrapping a blanket around you to feel more secure.
• Numbness: If you're feeling numb or dissociative, try to ground yourself. Pay close attention to your five senses. You might want to hold putty or a stress ball in your hands to keep busy. You could listen to music, eat a mint, or smell some perfume. Listen to the sound of yourself shuffling cards. You can also hold an ice cube or take cold/warm showers in effort to help yourself feel again.
• Sadness: If you're feeling sad, try to do things that put a smile on your face. Go on YouTube and watch funny animal videos, or call up a friend for a cheery conversation. Take a walk for a change of scenery and for some vitamin D from the sun. Have some chocolate or a favorite food to improve your mood. Paint your nails, or take a warm candlelit bath.

Another thing to consider when choosing alternatives is what you're looking for in self-harm. What do you like the most about self-harm? Perhaps it's the sight, the release, or the feeling of it. You can get those same things in healthier ways. You can do artwork in red paint, or you can write positive things on yourself in red marker. You can also exercise to release the chemicals that self-harm does, or you can hold an ice cube to your body to get a similar sensation.

Some alternatives will help you pass the time. For example, the fifteen minute game. Promise yourself that if you still want to self-harm in fifteen (or more) minutes, that you can. Distract yourself and when that fifteen minutes is up, add another fifteen minutes and so on. The goal is to eventually immerse yourself in something and lose track of time. Crack a glow stick and tell yourself that you can't self-harm until it is no longer glowing. Glow sticks last up to eight hours and they can last longer if you put them in the freezer.

Once you have some alternatives, think about making an alternative box. An alternative box is a box you can use to keep your alternatives in. All you need is an old shoe box. Decorate it so that you'll want to open it up when you're struggling. Making this box can be an alternative in itself.

Consider moving tools to a different area of your home. Put them into another room so you will face multiple distractions when you go get them. If you can't do that, keep them in an area that is hard to get to, like the top of your closet. Consider telling yourself "I want to hurt myself" instead of "I want to [insert method of self-harm]" Doing this will allow you to acknowledged that self-harm is a harmful behavior. If there's a certain room you self-harm in, try to make it a safer place.

While distractions are useful, remember they are only temporary. Over time, you will need to find activities that help replace self-harm completely. Doing this will help you to avoid coping with your feelings in other unhealthy ways.

Fighting urges
The most important thing to remember when fighting self-harm urges is to remember that they will pass in time. No matter how intense or long they are, they are temporary. As time goes on, they will not be as frequent or as intense as they used to be. You will become stronger for every urge you beat. In addition, every alternative you try is a learning experience. You will soon figure out which alternatives work for you and which do not. Sometimes self-harm urges will vary with intensity but that doesn't mean you're spiraling downward or all urges will be as bad. Consider preparing yourself so you have alternatives and coping skills put in place before you get triggered, This way, you will be less likely to be caught off guard.

What if my alternatives aren't working?
Self-harm alternatives can sometimes be similar to an exercise routine. If you've been doing the same exercise routine for a while, your body may adjust and stop showing results. Alternatives are very individualized and they can work the same way. If you find this happening, try some new ones and see what happens.

Goal setting
Setting goals and tracking progress is helpful for some, but it is not for everyone. Some people enjoy reaching their goals and having something to look forward to, but others find goals to be stressful because they are held over their heads. Consider starting with small goals, such as going a week without self-harm, and gradually increasing those goals. You can also give yourself a reward so you have something to look for. For every week you don't self harm, you could buy some new music, for example. If you're interested in tracking your progress, consider posting in the self-harm free thread.

How open you are about your goals is completely up to you. You're more than welcome to share your successes with other people, but you can also keep them to yourself if you don't feel comfortable sharing. This choice is a personal decision, so do what you feel is best for you.

Slip-ups
Slip-ups are part of recovery and it will happen from time to time. It's easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up over a slip-up. You can't be expected to go from frequently using an unhealthy behavior to not using it ever again. Slipping up does not take any of your previous progress away. If anything, it shows how strong you've been and it shows that you can go just as long again, if not longer, without self-harming. What is most important about slipping up is how you respond to it. Try to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on your journey.

Reaching out
Part of recovery is allowing other people to help you. This is something that is challenging for a lot of people because they aren't used to asking for help. You can talk to anyone you trust. It could be a friend, parent, teacher, or counselor. If you want to talk to someone in person, consider asking them to talk so you can plan ahead of time. They are unlikely to forget your request, and they will probably bring it up. You can write down what you'd like to tell them and say it to them, or you can hand them the note and allow them to read it. If you're too nervous to talk to someone, you can hand them a note or communicate electronically. You could also receive support anonymously through hotlines or through TeenHelp. Write down different ways you can receive support and utilize those when you're struggling.

If you've tried every alternative you can and things are still too intense, you need more support. When you feel like this, you should talk to a professional or someone else you trust, or call a hotline. [Cassie: Going to move this in this section but not quite sure where. Suggestions?]

[coolkid98]

This is a really good article Cassie and I've not got any edits for it, only suggestions for content.

The road to recovery from self-harm is both a challenging and rewarding one. A lot of people struggle with different aspects, such as finding and sticking to alternatives, reaching out for help, and relapse. Recovery from self-harm is something that you have to want for yourself and yourself only. It can be tempting to recover for other people, but you have to be wanting and willing to do this for yourself. It's a lot of work and it isn't always easy. You can try recovering even if you do not want to, but you will make more long lasting progress if you are truly ready to recover.

Deciding to recover
Some people have a big moment that makes them want to stop self-harming. Their self-harm may become severe or even life threatening, for instance. A big and frightening incident could make them decide to stop self-harming. For others, it could be something that builds up over time. You know you're ready to recover when you want to self-harm to just "get it over with", or when you're ready for a positive change. While recovering for other people can be tempting, it's not the best idea. Recovery is your journey and it has to be done for yourself and yourself only.

Being scared to recover
A lot of people are scared to recover at one point or another and that is completely normal. Recovery is a huge step and it is more than okay to be afraid of it. Struggles or feelings can become a comfort to people, and leaving their comfort zones can induce anxiety. People's identities also tend to get wrapped up in their self-harm. They'll see self-harm as who they are when that is not the truth. To help counteract this, get a sheet of paper, write your name in the center, and draw a circle around it. Next, fill the page up with writing or pictures that show who you are without your mental health struggles. You might write that you're a good listener or that you like animals, for example. Consider writing a list of reasons to recover as well.The following is a list of reasons to recover:

• You deserve to treat your body kindly.
• You won't have to hide fresh injuries or scars.
• You won't have to hide paraphernalia.
• You won't have to worry about infections.
• You won't have to spend money on tools and first aid.
• You won't have to lie to friends and family.
• You won't have to wear long clothing to hide your cuts and wounds. [Jenny: I think this comes under the second point you've made, but I've still included it just in case.]

[Cassie: Feel free to add some more, I could only think of a few at the moment.]

Finding alternatives
Anything healthy that keeps you from self-harming, like a hobby, is a good alternative. Finding alternatives can be hard, but just remember that different alternatives work for different people and their lifestyles. It might help to identify your triggers and how they make you feel. If one of your triggers is arguing, for example, think about how arguing makes you feel. Maybe it makes you feel angry. Once you know what your triggers are, try to avoid them, or cope with them in healthier ways when they arise. It helps to make your alternatives specific to how you feel. You might avoid arguing by excusing yourself from the room, or by telling the person that you would like to cool down before the conversation is continued. When arguments do happen, however, you might consider doing something to help release your anger, such as taking a jog or punching a pillow. The following is a list of alternatives to use for specific feelings:

• Anger: Anger is a dangerous emotion for a lot of people. Alternatives that are physical are well suited for feelings of anger. Exercise is a good way of helping anger. Exercise releases endorphins which will make you feel a little better. It's a way to get the release you're looking for without self-harm. You could also scream into a pillow, stomp your feet, punch a pillow or a punching bag, or listen to angry music.
• Anxiety: Anxiety can physically affect different areas of the body and cause a lot of discomfort for people. If you're anxious, you can try breathing exercises. Inhale and exhale slowly, and imagine releasing the anxiety inducing thoughts while exhaling. In addition to breathing exercises, try listening to guided imagery/meditation, positive affirmations, or nature sounds. You may find apps like the free version of iSleep Easy to benefit you. YouTube also has a lot of videos to help with anxiety. Adult coloring books are a popular tool to help calm you. You can purchase some on Amazon or at your local craft store. An app called Colorfy has plenty of pictures to color. Consider asking someone for a hug, or wrapping a blanket around you to feel more secure.
• Numbness: If you're feeling numb or dissociative, try to ground yourself. Pay close attention to your five senses. You might want to hold putty or a stress ball in your hands to keep busy. You could listen to music, eat a mint, or smell some perfume. Listen to the sound of yourself shuffling cards. You can also hold an ice cube or take cold/warm showers in effort to help yourself feel again.
• Sadness: If you're feeling sad, try to do things that put a smile on your face. Go on YouTube and watch funny animal videos, or call up a friend for a cheery conversation. Take a walk for a change of scenery and for some vitamin D from the sun. Have some chocolate or a favorite food to improve your mood. Paint your nails, or take a warm candlelit bath.

Another thing to consider when choosing alternatives is what you're looking for in self-harm. What do you like the most about self-harm? Perhaps it's the sight, the release, or the feeling of it. You can get those same things in healthier ways. You can do artwork in red paint, or you can write positive things on yourself in red marker. You can also exercise to release the chemicals that self-harm does, or you can hold an ice cube to your body to get a similar sensation.

Some alternatives will help you pass the time. For example, the fifteen minute game. Promise yourself that if you still want to self-harm in fifteen (or more) minutes, that you can. Distract yourself and when that fifteen minutes is up, add another fifteen minutes and so on. The goal is to eventually immerse yourself in something and lose track of time. Crack a glow stick and tell yourself that you can't self-harm until it is no longer glowing. Glow sticks last up to eight hours and they can last longer if you put them in the freezer.

Once you have some alternatives, think about making an alternative box. An alternative box is a box you can use to keep your alternatives in. All you need is an old shoe box. Decorate it so that you'll want to open it up when you're struggling. Making this box can be an alternative in itself.

Consider moving tools to a different area of your home. Put them into another room so you will face multiple distractions when you go get them. If you can't do that, keep them in an area that is hard to get to, like the top of your closet. Consider telling yourself "I want to hurt myself" instead of "I want to [insert method of self-harm]" Doing this will allow you to acknowledged that self-harm is a harmful behavior. If there's a certain room you self-harm in, try to make it a safer place.

While distractions are useful, remember they are only temporary. Over time, you will need to find activities that help replace self-harm completely. Doing this will help you to avoid coping with your feelings in other unhealthy ways.

Fighting urges
The most important thing to remember when fighting self-harm urges is to remember that they will pass in time. No matter how intense or long they are, they are temporary. As time goes on, they will not be as frequent or as intense as they used to be. You will become stronger for every urge you beat. In addition, every alternative you try is a learning experience. You will soon figure out which alternatives work for you and which do not. Sometimes self-harm urges will vary with intensity but that doesn't mean you're spiraling downward or all urges will be as bad. Consider preparing yourself so you have alternatives and coping skills put in place before you get triggered, This way, you will be less likely to be caught off guard.

What if my alternatives aren't working?
Self-harm alternatives can sometimes be similar to an exercise routine. If you've been doing the same exercise routine for a while, your body may adjust and stop showing results. Alternatives are very individualized and they can work the same way. If you find this happening, try some new ones and see what happens.

Goal setting
Setting goals and tracking progress is helpful for some, but it is not for everyone. Some people enjoy reaching their goals and having something to look forward to, but others find goals to be stressful because they are held over their heads. Consider starting with small goals, such as going a week without self-harm, and gradually increasing those goals. You can also give yourself a reward so you have something to look for. For every week you don't self harm, you could buy some new music, for example. If you're interested in tracking your progress, consider posting in the self-harm free thread.

How open you are about your goals is completely up to you. You're more than welcome to share your successes with other people, but you can also keep them to yourself if you don't feel comfortable sharing. This choice is a personal decision, so do what you feel is best for you.

Slip-ups
Slip-ups are part of recovery and it will happen from time to time. It's easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up over a slip-up. You can't be expected to go from frequently using an unhealthy behavior to not using it ever again. Slipping up does not take any of your previous progress away. If anything, it shows how strong you've been and it shows that you can go just as long again, if not longer, without self-harming. What is most important about slipping up is how you respond to it. Try to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on your journey.

Reaching out
Part of recovery is allowing other people to help you. This is something that is challenging for a lot of people because they aren't used to asking for help. You can talk to anyone you trust. It could be a friend, parent, teacher, or counselor. If you want to talk to someone in person, consider asking them to talk so you can plan ahead of time. They are unlikely to forget your request, and they will probably bring it up. You can write down what you'd like to tell them and say it to them, or you can hand them the note and allow them to read it. If you're too nervous to talk to someone, you can hand them a note or communicate electronically. You could also receive support anonymously through hotlines or through TeenHelp. Write down different ways you can receive support and utilize those when you're struggling.

If you've tried every alternative you can and things are still too intense, you need more support. When you feel like this, you should talk to a professional or someone else you trust, or call a hotline. [Cassie: Going to move this in this section but not quite sure where. Suggestions?][Jenny: I would put under the finding alternatives bit, but you could always leave a link for the hotline in your conclusion too.]

[David Armes]

Hi,

I think I may have done a few blogs that may be able to help:

"Coping techniques: There are many techniques that are available to use for you and finding the right one for you is vital. You can have more than one if you need it but it’s vital it is you that picks it as otherwise you will not get better.

I have a lot of suggestions that I think will help you but there are others out there:

• Plan a party – this can be very useful for those who have a lot of friends who help and want to take your mind off the mental illness. Be careful what you pick to do as going over the top could end badly put a little party can be a massive help to you.
• A memory box – this can be filled with whatever you want it to be. I have one which is filled with all my memories which is nice to have especially on a bad day. Though don’t put things in that could make you depressed th ough as that won’t help at all
• Stuff that you can grasp – old toys are a great for this. If you feel down just find something that you can cuddle. This is useful and sometimes can really change your moods to the better.
• Watching your favourite DVDs – This can take your mind off things for a while at least. In my view distractions are the best because of the time that they take. Make sure though that they are happy and positive DVDs as otherwise it could make you feel even more down.
• Sleeping can really change your mood because you can fell very refreshed and can make you feel more positive.
• Eat what you want as that is vital even if it is snacking. The energy is important to have
• Just chill out and relax – the number of times people have said that to me and somehow I find that it does help even if it is hard but of course that brings me onto the most important one that I have found
• Call a friend or relative – no one should be forced to feel left out and loneliness is one of the worst things that can happen to a person but calling someone helps as you have that contact .

You need to find the correct techniques for you but it is easy and you won’t realize it until you find it but it is easy and can make a real change."

"Suicidal Thoughts: Suicide is extremely dangerous. I have decided to do this piece because of my experiences. This is scary, I know. However, there are some things you can do to help.

Firstly, speak to friends. They will understand that you are going through a tough time and some may be willing to give you advice.

Secondly, see a counselor; you can find out more about treatment options here on the blog.

Thirdly, make a memory box or a box with things that help you or you like that you can get if you feel down. You should only put things in that mean a lot to you. Store it in a safe place that holds meaning for you and you only.

In an emergency call Childline as you should not be alone. There are other services that you could call though.

Remember that there are healthy coping methods available to you; the future can get better.

It may be scary but its not the end of the world!"

"Emergency situations: Emergencies are a nightmare for everyone around you. Most people you need to be prepared may not be able to cope with then and you during this time. This you should be prepared for as normal during this time.

The biggest emergency out of all is wanting to kill yourself. Whatever you do DON’T!!!!! I would be the very first person who has tried before to say no. There are hundreds or better techniques that you can use which are hundreds times better. Speak to anyone that takes you seriously while you feel that bad.

Also something that I would consider an emergency is cutting yourself. Trust me it hurts! TOPTIP for this would be to lock all sharp items away while you feel that bad. That is the safest options for you to do while you feel like that.

Writing abuse really doesn’t help, it will make you think of bad thoughts which is also a disaster! My one big piece of advice would be so stay away from the internet whilst you feel like that or only look at positive things until you feel strong, no one is going to say anything otherwise."

As I was the person that wrote these 3, you may use them on the condition that they are reworded a little different. I hope that some of this information is useful to you and feel free to look at my other blogs for inspiration.

David

[hocus pocus]

Thank you both for your suggestions. I'm going to go ahead and link in some of TeenHelp's resources now. I added in the hotlines and the self-harm free thread. I need to add the alternatives page and I would like to add past articles and threads (like the first aid one) but aren't sure how to include those. If they should be included in the actual article or if I can bullet them at the end under a title like "Other helpful reads" Thoughts? Does my title sound okay?

Self harm: the road to recovery
By Cassie (Cassado)

The road to recovery from self-harm is both a challenging and rewarding one. A lot of people struggle with different aspects, such as finding and sticking to alternatives, reaching out for help, and relapse. Recovery from self-harm is something that you have to want for yourself and yourself only. It can be tempting to recover for other people, but you have to be wanting and willing to do this for yourself. It's a lot of work and it isn't always easy. You can try recovering even if you do not want to, but you will make more long lasting progress if you are truly ready to recover.

Deciding to recover
Some people have a big moment that makes them want to stop self-harming. Their self-harm may become severe or even life threatening, for instance. A big and frightening incident could make them decide to stop self-harming. For others, it could be something that builds up over time. You know you're ready to recover when you want to self-harm to just "get it over with", or when you're ready for a positive change. While recovering for other people can be tempting, it's not the best idea. Recovery is your journey and it has to be done for yourself and yourself only.

Being scared to recover
A lot of people are scared to recover at one point or another and that is completely normal. Recovery is a huge step and it is more than okay to be afraid of it. Struggles or feelings can become a comfort to people, and leaving their comfort zones can induce anxiety. People's identities also tend to get wrapped up in their self-harm. They'll see self-harm as who they are when that is not the truth. To help counteract this, get a sheet of paper, write your name in the center, and draw a circle around it. Next, fill the page up with writing or pictures that show who you are without your mental health struggles. You might write that you're a good listener or that you like animals, for example. Consider writing a list of reasons to recover as well.The following is a list of reasons to recover:

• You deserve to treat your body kindly.
• You won't have to hide fresh injuries or scars.
• You won't have to hide paraphernalia.
• You won't have to worry about infections.
• You won't have to spend money on tools and first aid.
• You won't have to lie to friends and family.
• You won't have to change your wardrobe to hide wounds [Cassie: I added this, just changed it a little bit since people self-harm in all different places. Do you think it would fit better after the second bullet point?]
  

[Cassie: Feel free to add some more, I could only think of a few at the moment.]

Finding alternatives
Anything healthy that keeps you from self-harming, like a hobby, is a good alternative. Finding alternatives can be hard, but just remember that different alternatives work for different people and their lifestyles. It might help to identify your triggers and how they make you feel. If one of your triggers is arguing, for example, think about how arguing makes you feel. Maybe it makes you feel angry. Once you know what your triggers are, try to avoid them, or cope with them in healthier ways when they arise. It helps to make your alternatives specific to how you feel. You might avoid arguing by excusing yourself from the room, or by telling the person that you would like to cool down before the conversation is continued. When arguments do happen, however, you might consider doing something to help release your anger, such as taking a jog or punching a pillow. The following is a list of alternatives to use for specific feelings:

• Anger: Anger is a dangerous emotion for a lot of people. Alternatives that are physical are well suited for feelings of anger. Exercise is a good way of helping anger. Exercise releases endorphins which will make you feel a little better. It's a way to get the release you're looking for without self-harm. You could also scream into a pillow, stomp your feet, punch a pillow or a punching bag, or listen to angry music.
• Anxiety: Anxiety can physically affect different areas of the body and cause a lot of discomfort for people. If you're anxious, you can try breathing exercises. Inhale and exhale slowly, and imagine releasing the anxiety inducing thoughts while exhaling. In addition to breathing exercises, try listening to guided imagery/meditation, positive affirmations, or nature sounds. You may find apps like the free version of iSleep Easy to benefit you. YouTube also has a lot of videos to help with anxiety. Adult coloring books are a popular tool to help calm you. You can purchase some on Amazon or at your local craft store. An app called Colorfy has plenty of pictures to color. Consider asking someone for a hug, or wrapping a blanket around you to feel more secure.
• Numbness: If you're feeling numb or dissociative, try to ground yourself. Pay close attention to your five senses. You might want to hold putty or a stress ball in your hands to keep busy. You could listen to music, eat a mint, or smell some perfume. Listen to the sound of yourself shuffling cards. You can also hold an ice cube or take cold/warm showers in effort to help yourself feel again.
• Sadness: If you're feeling sad, try to do things that put a smile on your face. Go on YouTube and watch funny animal videos, or call up a friend for a cheery conversation. Take a walk for a change of scenery and for some vitamin D from the sun. Have some chocolate or a favorite food to improve your mood. Paint your nails, or take a warm candlelit bath.

Another thing to consider when choosing alternatives is what you're looking for in self-harm. What do you like the most about self-harm? Perhaps it's the sight, the release, or the feeling of it. You can get those same things in healthier ways. You can do artwork in red paint, or you can write positive things on yourself in red marker. You can also exercise to release the chemicals that self-harm does, or you can hold an ice cube to your body to get a similar sensation.

Some alternatives will help you pass the time. For example, the fifteen minute game. Promise yourself that if you still want to self-harm in fifteen (or more) minutes, that you can. Distract yourself and when that fifteen minutes is up, add another fifteen minutes and so on. The goal is to eventually immerse yourself in something and lose track of time. Crack a glow stick and tell yourself that you can't self-harm until it is no longer glowing. Glow sticks last up to eight hours and they can last longer if you put them in the freezer.

Once you have some alternatives, think about making an alternative box. An alternative box is a box you can use to keep your alternatives in. All you need is an old shoe box. Decorate it so that you'll want to open it up when you're struggling. Making this box can be an alternative in itself.

Consider moving tools to a different area of your home. Put them into another room so you will face multiple distractions when you go get them. If you can't do that, keep them in an area that is hard to get to, like the top of your closet. Consider telling yourself "I want to hurt myself" instead of "I want to [insert method of self-harm]" Doing this will allow you to acknowledged that self-harm is a harmful behavior. If there's a certain room you self-harm in, try to make it a safer place.

While distractions are useful, remember they are only temporary. Over time, you will need to find activities that help replace self-harm completely. Doing this will help you to avoid coping with your feelings in other unhealthy ways.

Fighting urges
The most important thing to remember when fighting self-harm urges is to remember that they will pass in time. No matter how intense or long they are, they are temporary. As time goes on, they will not be as frequent or as intense as they used to be. You will become stronger for every urge you beat. In addition, every alternative you try is a learning experience. You will soon figure out which alternatives work for you and which do not. Sometimes self-harm urges will vary with intensity but that doesn't mean you're spiraling downward or all urges will be as bad. Consider preparing yourself so you have alternatives and coping skills put in place before you get triggered, This way, you will be less likely to be caught off guard.

What if my alternatives aren't working?
Self-harm alternatives can sometimes be similar to an exercise routine. If you've been doing the same exercise routine for a while, your body may adjust and stop showing results. Alternatives are very individualized and they can work the same way. If you find this happening, try some new ones and see what happens.

Goal setting
Setting goals and tracking progress is helpful for some, but it is not for everyone. Some people enjoy reaching their goals and having something to look forward to, but others find goals to be stressful because they are held over their heads. Consider starting with small goals, such as going a week without self-harm, and gradually increasing those goals. You can also give yourself a reward so you have something to look for. For every week you don't self harm, you could buy some new music, for example. If you're interested in tracking your progress, consider posting in the self-harm free thread.

How open you are about your goals is completely up to you. You're more than welcome to share your successes with other people, but you can also keep them to yourself if you don't feel comfortable sharing. This choice is a personal decision, so do what you feel is best for you.

Slip-ups
Slip-ups are part of recovery and it will happen from time to time. It's easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up over a slip-up. You can't be expected to go from frequently using an unhealthy behavior to not using it ever again. Slipping up does not take any of your previous progress away. If anything, it shows how strong you've been and it shows that you can go just as long again, if not longer, without self-harming. What is most important about slipping up is how you respond to it. Try to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on your journey.

Reaching out
Part of recovery is allowing other people to help you. This is something that is challenging for a lot of people because they aren't used to asking for help. You can talk to anyone you trust. It could be a friend, parent, teacher, or counselor. If you want to talk to someone in person, consider asking them to talk so you can plan ahead of time. They are unlikely to forget your request, and they will probably bring it up. You can write down what you'd like to tell them and say it to them, or you can hand them the note and allow them to read it. If you're too nervous to talk to someone, you can hand them a note or communicate electronically. You could also receive support anonymously through hotlines or through TeenHelp. Write down different ways you can receive support and utilize those when you're struggling.

If you've tried every alternative you can and things are still too intense, you need more support. When you feel like this, you should talk to a professional or someone else you trust, or call a hotline. [Cassie: Going to move this in this section but not quite sure where. Suggestions?][Jenny: I would put under the finding alternatives bit, but you could always leave a link for the hotline in your conclusion too.] [Cassie: Just going to leave this here for now, I'll probably come back and move it later once it is all laid out again for me to look at.]

[Halcyon]

Excellent article, Cassie!
I think your title is good. I think you've hyphenated self-harm most of the time, so I added one in the title. If you want to add other links/resources, I think your suggestion of having an extra heading, "Other helpful reads", would be good.

Self-harm: the road to recovery
By Cassie (Cassado)

The road to recovery from self-harm is both a challenging and rewarding one. A lot of people struggle with different aspects, such as finding and sticking to alternatives, reaching out for help, and relapse. Recovery from self-harm is something that you have to want for yourself and yourself only. It can be tempting to recover for other people, but you have to be wanting and willing to do this for yourself. It's a lot of work and it isn't always easy. You can try recovering even if you do not want to, but you will make more long lasting progress if you are truly ready to recover.

Deciding to recover
Some people have a big moment that makes them want to stop self-harming. Their self-harm may become severe or even life threatening, for instance. A big and frightening incident could make them decide to stop self-harming. For others, it could be something that builds up over time. You know you're ready to recover when you want to self-harm to just "get it over with", or when you're ready for a positive change. While recovering for other people can be tempting, it's not the best idea. Recovery is your journey and it has to be done for yourself and yourself only.

Being scared to recover
A lot of people are scared to recover at one point or another and that is completely normal. Recovery is a huge step and it is more than okay to be afraid of it. Struggles or feelings can become a comfort to people, and leaving their comfort zones can induce anxiety. People's identities also tend to get wrapped up in their self-harm. They'll see self-harm as who they are when that is not the truth. To help counteract this, get a sheet of paper, write your name in the center, and draw a circle around it. Next, fill the page up with writing or pictures that show who you are without your mental health struggles. You might write that you're a good listener or that you like animals, for example. Consider writing a list of reasons to recover as well. The following is a list of reasons to recover: [Haley: As it's not an exhaustive list, perhaps it could be worded slightly differently. Maybe something like: "The following is a list of some reasons why people choose to recover."]

• You deserve to treat your body kindly.
• You won't have to hide fresh injuries or scars.
• You won't have to hide paraphernalia.
• You won't have to worry about infections.
• You won't have to spend money on tools and first aid.
• You won't have to lie to friends and family.
• You won't have to change your wardrobe to hide wounds [Cassie: I added this, just changed it a little bit since people self-harm in all different places. Do you think it would fit better after the second bullet point?] [Haley: Yes, I think this would fit in well after the second bullet point.]
  

[Cassie: Feel free to add some more, I could only think of a few at the moment.]

Finding alternatives
Anything healthy that keeps you from self-harming, like a hobby, is a good alternative. Finding alternatives can be hard, but just remember that different alternatives work for different people and their lifestyles. It might help to identify your triggers and how they make you feel. If one of your triggers is arguing, for example, think about how arguing makes you feel. Maybe it makes you feel angry. Once you know what your triggers are, try to avoid them, or cope with them in healthier ways when they arise. It helps to make your alternatives specific to how you feel. You might avoid arguing by excusing yourself from the room, or by telling the person that you would like to cool down before the conversation is continued. When arguments do happen, however, you might consider doing something to help release your anger, such as taking a jog or punching a pillow. The following is a list of alternatives to use for specific feelings:

• Anger: Anger is a dangerous emotion for a lot of people. Alternatives that are physical are well suited for feelings of anger. Exercise is a good way of helping anger. Exercise releases endorphins which will make you feel a little better. It's a way to get the release you're looking for without self-harm. You could also scream into a pillow, stomp your feet, punch a pillow or a punching bag, or listen to angry music.
• Anxiety: Anxiety can physically affect different areas of the body and cause a lot of discomfort for people. If you're anxious, you can try breathing exercises. Inhale and exhale slowly, and imagine releasing the anxiety inducing thoughts while exhaling. In addition to breathing exercises, try listening to guided imagery/meditation, positive affirmations, or nature sounds. You may find apps like the free version of iSleep Easy to benefit you. YouTube also has a lot of videos to help with anxiety. Adult coloring books are a popular tool to help calm you. You can purchase some on Amazon or at your local craft store. An app called Colorfy has plenty of pictures to color. Consider asking someone for a hug, or wrapping a blanket around you to feel more secure.
• Numbness: If you're feeling numb or dissociative, try to ground yourself. Pay close attention to your five senses. You might want to hold putty or a stress ball in your hands to keep busy. You could listen to music, eat a mint, or smell some perfume. Listen to the sound of yourself shuffling cards. You can also hold an ice cube or take cold/warm showers in effort to help yourself feel again.
• Sadness: If you're feeling sad, try to do things that put a smile on your face. Go on YouTube and watch funny animal videos, or call up a friend for a cheery conversation. Take a walk for a change of scenery and for some vitamin D from the sun. Have some chocolate or a favorite food to improve your mood. Paint your nails, or take a warm candlelit bath.

Another thing to consider when choosing alternatives is what you're looking for in self-harm. What do you like the most about self-harm? Perhaps it's the sight, the release, or the feeling of it. You can get those same things in healthier ways. You can do artwork in red paint, or you can write positive things on yourself in red marker. You can also exercise to release the chemicals that self-harm does, or you can hold an ice cube to your body to get a similar sensation.

Some alternatives will help you pass the time. For example, the fifteen minute game. Promise yourself that if you still want to self-harm in fifteen (or more) minutes, that you can. Distract yourself and when that fifteen minutes is up, add another fifteen minutes and so on. The goal is to eventually immerse yourself in something and lose track of time. Crack a glow stick and tell yourself that you can't self-harm until it is no longer glowing. Glow sticks last up to eight hours and they can last longer if you put them in the freezer.

Once you have some alternatives, think about making an alternative box. An alternative box is a box you can use to keep your alternatives in. All you need is an old shoe box. Decorate it so that you'll want to open it up when you're struggling. Making this box can be an alternative in itself.

Consider moving tools to a different area of your home. Put them into another room so you will face multiple distractions when you go get them. If you can't do that, keep them in an area that is hard to get to, like the top of your closet. Consider telling yourself "I want to hurt myself" instead of "I want to [insert method of self-harm]". Doing this will allow you to acknowledged that self-harm is a harmful behavior. If there's a certain room you self-harm in, try to make it a safer place.

While distractions are useful, remember they are only temporary. Over time, you will need to find activities that help replace self-harm completely. Doing this will help you to avoid coping with your feelings in other unhealthy ways.

Fighting urges
The most important thing to remember when fighting self-harm urges is to remember that they will pass in time. No matter how intense or long they are, they are temporary. As time goes on, they will not be as frequent or as intense as they used to be. You will become stronger for every urge you beat. In addition, every alternative you try is a learning experience. You will soon figure out which alternatives work for you and which do not. Sometimes self-harm urges will vary with intensity but that doesn't mean you're spiraling downward or all urges will be as bad. Consider preparing yourself so you have alternatives and coping skills put in place before you get triggered,; Tthis way, you will be are less likely to be caught off guard.

What if my alternatives aren't working?
Self-harm alternatives can sometimes be similar to an exercise routine. If you've been doing the same exercise routine for a while, your body may adjust and stop showing results. Alternatives are very individualized and they can work the same way. If you find this happening, try some new ones and see what happens.

Goal setting
Setting goals and tracking progress is helpful for some, but it is not for everyone. Some people enjoy reaching their goals and having something to look forward to, but others find goals to be stressful because they are held over their heads. Consider starting with small goals, such as going a week without self-harm, and gradually increasing those goals. You can also give yourself a reward so you have something to look forward to. For every week you don't self-harm, you could buy some new music, for example. If you're interested in tracking your progress, consider posting in the self-harm free thread.

How open you are about your goals is completely up to you. You're more than welcome to share your successes with other people, but you can also keep them to yourself if you don't feel comfortable sharing. This choice is a personal decision, so do what you feel is best for you.

Slip-ups
Slip-ups are part of recovery and it will happen from time to time. It's easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up over a slip-up. You can't be expected to go from frequently using an unhealthy behavior to not using it ever again. Slipping up does not take any of your previous progress away. If anything, it shows how strong you've been and it shows that you can go just as long again, if not longer, without self-harming. What is most important about slipping up is how you respond to it. Try to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on your journey.

Reaching out
Part of recovery is allowing other people to help you. This is something that is challenging for a lot of people because they aren't used to asking for help. You can talk to anyone you trust. It could be a friend, parent, teacher, or counselor. If you want to talk to someone in person, consider asking them to talk so you can plan ahead of time. They are unlikely to forget your request, and they will probably bring it up. You can write down what you'd like to tell them and say it to them, or you can hand them the note and allow them to read it. If you're too nervous to talk to someone, you can hand them a note or communicate electronically. You could also receive support anonymously through hotlines or through TeenHelp. Write down different ways you can receive support and utilize those when you're struggling.

If you've tried every alternative you can and things are still too intense, you need more support. When you feel like this, you should talk to a professional or someone else you trust, or call a hotline. [Cassie: Going to move this in this section but not quite sure where. Suggestions?][Jenny: I would put under the finding alternatives bit, but you could always leave a link for the hotline in your conclusion too.] [Cassie: Just going to leave this here for now, I'll probably come back and move it later once it is all laid out again for me to look at.]

[hocus pocus]

Thank you. I applied everything and made the extra list at the end.

Self-harm: the road to recovery
By Cassie (Cassado)

The road to recovery from self-harm is both a challenging and rewarding one. A lot of people struggle with different aspects, such as finding and sticking to alternatives, reaching out for help, and relapse. Recovery from self-harm is something that you have to want for yourself and yourself only. It can be tempting to recover for other people, but you have to be wanting and willing to do this for yourself. It's a lot of work and it isn't always easy. You can try recovering even if you do not want to, but you will make more long lasting progress if you are truly ready to recover.

Deciding to recover
Some people have a big moment that makes them want to stop self-harming. Their self-harm may become severe or even life threatening, for instance. A big and frightening incident could make them decide to stop self-harming. For others, it could be something that builds up over time. You know you're ready to recover when you want to self-harm to just "get it over with", or when you're ready for a positive change. While recovering for other people can be tempting, it's not the best idea. Recovery is your journey and it has to be done for yourself and yourself only.

Being scared to recover
A lot of people are scared to recover at one point or another and that is completely normal. Recovery is a huge step and it is more than okay to be afraid of it. Struggles or feelings can become a comfort to people, and leaving their comfort zones can induce anxiety. People's identities also tend to get wrapped up in their self-harm. They'll see self-harm as who they are when that is not the truth. To help counteract this, get a sheet of paper, write your name in the center, and draw a circle around it. Next, fill the page up with writing or pictures that show who you are without your mental health struggles. You might write that you're a good listener or that you like animals, for example. Consider writing a list of reasons to recover as well. The following includes a few reasons why people choose to recover:

• You deserve to treat your body kindly.
• You won't have to hide fresh injuries or scars.
• You won't have to change your wardrobe to hide wounds.
• You won't have to hide paraphernalia.
• You won't have to worry about infections.
• You won't have to spend money on tools and first aid.
• You won't have to lie to friends and family.

Finding alternatives
Anything healthy that keeps you from self-harming, like a hobby, is a good alternative. Finding alternatives can be hard, but just remember that different alternatives work for different people and their lifestyles. It might help to identify your triggers and how they make you feel. If one of your triggers is arguing, for example, think about how arguing makes you feel. Maybe it makes you feel angry. Once you know what your triggers are, try to avoid them, or cope with them in healthier ways when they arise. It helps to make your alternatives specific to how you feel. You might avoid arguing by excusing yourself from the room, or by telling the person that you would like to cool down before the conversation is continued. When arguments do happen, however, you might consider doing something to help release your anger, such as taking a jog or punching a pillow. The following is a list of alternatives to use for specific feelings:

• Anger: Anger is a dangerous emotion for a lot of people. Alternatives that are physical are well suited for feelings of anger. Exercise is a good way of helping anger. Exercise releases endorphins which will make you feel a little better. It's a way to get the release you're looking for without self-harm. You could also scream into a pillow, stomp your feet, punch a pillow or a punching bag, or listen to angry music.
• Anxiety: Anxiety can physically affect different areas of the body and cause a lot of discomfort for people. If you're anxious, you can try breathing exercises. Inhale and exhale slowly, and imagine releasing the anxiety inducing thoughts while exhaling. In addition to breathing exercises, try listening to guided imagery/meditation, positive affirmations, or nature sounds. You may find apps like the free version of iSleep Easy to benefit you. YouTube also has a lot of videos to help with anxiety. Adult coloring books are a popular tool to help calm you. You can purchase some on Amazon or at your local craft store. An app called Colorfy has plenty of pictures to color. Consider asking someone for a hug, or wrapping a blanket around you to feel more secure.
• Numbness: If you're feeling numb or dissociative, try to ground yourself. Pay close attention to your five senses. You might want to hold putty or a stress ball in your hands to keep busy. You could listen to music, eat a mint, or smell some perfume. Listen to the sound of yourself shuffling cards. You can also hold an ice cube or take cold/warm showers in effort to help yourself feel again.
• Sadness: If you're feeling sad, try to do things that put a smile on your face. Go on YouTube and watch funny animal videos, or call up a friend for a cheery conversation. Take a walk for a change of scenery and for some vitamin D from the sun. Have some chocolate or a favorite food to improve your mood. Paint your nails, or take a warm candlelit bath.

Another thing to consider when choosing alternatives is what you're looking for in self-harm. What do you like the most about self-harm? Perhaps it's the sight, the release, or the feeling of it. You can get those same things in healthier ways. You can do artwork in red paint, or you can write positive things on yourself in red marker. You can also exercise to release the chemicals that self-harm does, or you can hold an ice cube to your body to get a similar sensation.

Some alternatives will help you pass the time. For example, the fifteen minute game. Promise yourself that if you still want to self-harm in fifteen (or more) minutes, that you can. Distract yourself and when that fifteen minutes is up, add another fifteen minutes and so on. The goal is to eventually immerse yourself in something and lose track of time. Crack a glow stick and tell yourself that you can't self-harm until it is no longer glowing. Glow sticks last up to eight hours and they can last longer if you put them in the freezer.

Once you have some alternatives, think about making an alternative box. An alternative box is a box you can use to keep your alternatives in. All you need is an old shoe box. Decorate it so that you'll want to open it up when you're struggling. Making this box can be an alternative in itself.

Consider moving tools to a different area of your home. Put them into another room so you will face multiple distractions when you go get them. If you can't do that, keep them in an area that is hard to get to, like the top of your closet. Consider telling yourself "I want to hurt myself" instead of "I want to [insert method of self-harm]". Doing this will allow you to acknowledge that self-harm is a harmful behavior. If there's a certain room you self-harm in, try to make it a safer place.

While distractions are useful, remember they are only temporary. Over time, you will need to find activities that help replace self-harm completely. Doing this will help you to avoid coping with your feelings in other unhealthy ways.

Fighting urges
The most important thing to remember when fighting self-harm urges is to remember that they will pass in time. No matter how intense or long they are, they are temporary. As time goes on, they will not be as frequent or as intense as they used to be. You will become stronger for every urge you beat. In addition, every alternative you try is a learning experience. You will soon figure out which alternatives work for you and which do not. Sometimes self-harm urges will vary with intensity but that doesn't mean you're spiraling downward or all urges will be as bad. Consider preparing yourself so you have alternatives and coping skills put in place before you get triggered; this way, you are less likely to be caught off guard.

What if my alternatives aren't working?
Self-harm alternatives can sometimes be similar to an exercise routine. If you've been doing the same exercise routine for a while, your body may adjust and stop showing results. Alternatives are very individualized and they can work the same way. If you find this happening, try some new ones and see what happens.

If you've tried every alternative you can and things are still too intense, you need more support. When you feel like this, you should talk to a professional or someone else you trust, or call a hotline.

Goal setting
Setting goals and tracking progress is helpful for some, but it is not for everyone. Some people enjoy reaching their goals and having something to look forward to, but others find goals to be stressful because they are held over their heads. Consider starting with small goals, such as going a week without self-harm, and gradually increasing those goals. You can also give yourself a reward so you have something to look forward to. For every week you don't self-harm, you could buy some new music, for example. If you're interested in tracking your progress, consider posting in the self-harm free thread.

How open you are about your goals is completely up to you. You're more than welcome to share your successes with other people, but you can also keep them to yourself if you don't feel comfortable sharing. This choice is a personal decision, so do what you feel is best for you.

Slip-ups
Slip-ups are part of recovery and it will happen from time to time. It's easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up over a slip-up. You can't be expected to go from frequently using an unhealthy behavior to not using it ever again. Slipping up does not take any of your previous progress away. If anything, it shows how strong you've been and it shows that you can go just as long again, if not longer, without self-harming. What is most important about slipping up is how you respond to it. Try to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on your journey.

Reaching out
Part of recovery is allowing other people to help you. This is something that is challenging for a lot of people because they aren't used to asking for help. You can talk to anyone you trust. It could be a friend, parent, teacher, or counselor. If you want to talk to someone in person, consider asking them to talk so you can plan ahead of time. They are unlikely to forget your request, and they will probably bring it up. You can write down what you'd like to tell them and say it to them, or you can hand them the note and allow them to read it. If you're too nervous to talk to someone, you can hand them a note or communicate electronically. You could also receive support anonymously through hotlines or through TeenHelp. Write down different ways you can receive support and utilize those when you're struggling.

Other helpful reads

• "Is this self-harm?"
• Alternatives to self-harm
• First aid information
• Loved ones of those who harm
• Discussing self-harm with a loved one
• Seven steps to be self-harm free

[Halcyon]

This article has now been published.