Triggering: I'm cutting. It's getting addictive. Help?

[Echo1920]

I've been cutting for a little over 3 months now. It started when I was getting bullied at school. My friend for 6 years I had told about the cutting. She said she understood and wouldn't tell. Then in social studies class I fell backwards out of my seat. Everybody just stared, some laughed. But Chloe came to my side. My sleeve on my shirt had gotten pulled back. She saw the cuts. Next thing I know I was being called to the office. They talked to me. They called my mom and everybody. They Acted like I was suicidal. I wasn't. I went him early. There was a dance that night. I went with my friend Lylee. We were bored at the dance and she said " Hey let's go cut your arm in the bathroom." I was having an urge and was like why not. She I went to the bathroom and cut in front of her. Monday can and again I was called to the office. They said someone had saw me cut my arm at the dance. The only person in there was Lylee. I want to her at lunch and told her I knew what she said. She was surprised. "I only told because I didn't want to be friends anymore." She said. My so called best friend betrayed me and lied to me. She told rumors to the whole school. I didn't then and still don't know what her motive is. Friends for 6 years and she just erupted. The cutting started getting bad after the drama with Lylee. (Story above)
I was clean for about a week. Then I started again. This time on my leg so I could just were pants and nobody would suspect a thing. I'm now cutting three times daily with about 4-6 cuts in each session. I'm doing them whenever I can. In the bathroom, taking a shower, and even changing my clothes. I currently have at least 50 cuts on my leg. They aren't big maybe and few centimeters long. I cant stop though. I'm scared, and I'm lying to my doctors and family, I tell them I have stopped, I'm not feeling depressed. I don't know what to do. They will lock me away if I tell them.
I'm sorta glad I found this site. Maybe I can get some help. Somebody to talk to would be nice. I've found all my "friends" just freak out and scream at me. They're just making it worse. I've tried everything, it's got a hold on me. Help anybody?

[Bluetears]

Hey sweetheart


I'm really glad you decided to come talk about it here. It was really brave and shows a part of you wants to get help/stop Have you tried any alternatives to hurting yourself? If not, I really do recommend taking a look at this list. It's helped me a lot. I'm sure it will you too
http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ives-self-harm

Please come message anyone through here if you need someone to talk to, okay? We are all here to help you and none of us will judge you Stay strong!

[fallingstargirl]

Hey,

It's awful that your friend did that to you. I know it can be really hard to lose friends, but if she asked you to cut because she was bored, it might be better that you aren't talking to her anymore. Good friends are supportive, but definitely shouldn't suggest that you hurt yourself or tell others as a way of ending your friendship.

Have you tried asking your parents to get you help? I know you think they'll "lock you away," but there are a lot of options that could be helpful to you. You could try to see a counselor or therapist. This would only take a couple of hours a week and it could make you feel a lot better. If you don't want to do anything that big, you could just go see your school counselor during your lunch breaks or after school. Even if they weren't a huge help, it would offer a distraction during the school day.

Other than that, try using the alternatives list the above user posted. If you try one and it doesn't work, make sure you try more from different categories. One that works for a lot of people is snapping a rubber band or hair tie on your wrist whenever you get the urge to self harm. You can also try going for a run or a walk. Also, keep posting on the forums and feel free to message me if you need anything or want to chat

Good luck,
~Estelle

[Echo1920]

I don't talk to her anymore. The principle told her not to talk to me and me not to talk to her. She's been waving at me and walking up to me, I just run away. She acts like nothing happened. Thanks for your support I will try the rubber band thing and see if that works. I've tried it before, but with no luck ....