I started cutting myself...

[chinatoocute]

I don't know why, i don't understand why i like it. But i started cutting myself 3 days ago i was just crying my eyes out and then the next thing i know i took my aunts sharp [Edited] and started to cut my arm. I heard how she said that this razor was very sharp and she couldn't use it cause it kept cutting her. So i took it into the bathroom and i sat on the floor and started to cry i put the razor to my arm than the next thing i know i felt well i don't really know what i felt but it felt really good and at the same time it hurt but the pain made me feel so much better and after the cut stopped hurting i cut myself again on the same arm near my wrist and again it felt so good. And for some reason i kiss my cuts that makes my body shake and make me feel so good i honestly don't get why i'm doing it but i think its because of my relationship with my mother and i feel like i can't stop that i need to cut myself again. I really and desperate need someone to talk to i don't know what to do with myself

[Theaweseomrguy]

Hey this is tough I know this is hard to deal with. If you need to talk I am here, but also maybe you should try putting a rubber band on your wrist and every time you get the urge to cut you flick the rubberband this creates an effect that works for some people but not all. Family relationships can be hard sometimes I understand that and remember it will get better maybe not today or tomorrow but in the long run everything will work out.

You can PM/VM or email me if you want to talk

Jake

[Bluetears]

Hey sweetheart


Is there something that happened that might've triggered you into self-harming? If not, or you don't know, that's okay. It's good to stop cutting before it becomes addictive and harder to stop. Please take it from someone who is addicted, it is not worth it in the long run.

Maybe you can hide any razors or sharp things? Or keep them in a box and write a note to yourself saying, "Don't do it." That's helped me. I also recommend taking a look at this alternatives list. It's helped me alot.
http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/

Love you, stay strong! Feel free to pm me if you ever need help

[chinatoocute]

Thank you guys but I believe that I'm cutting myself because my mom doesn't want me anymore so she sent me to love with my grandmother

[Bluetears]

That would probably do it. Maybe you could talk to you grandma about it? I sorts know where you are coming from. My real mom didn't want me and my brother either. Our grandma took us and our dad in and my dad met my step mom. In the end, it work out. I'm sure it will for you too.

[chinatoocute]

My grandma is a heartless women she saw my cuts but kept to herself she didn't say anything about it I feel like I have no one at all to talk to honestly I feel like theirs no point for me to live anymore

[Bluetears]

Can you talk to a school counselor or someone at school about it? If not it's okay. I want you to keep in mind that you are strong enough to get through anything life throws at you, no matter how hard it may seem. It might not seem true, especially right now, but it's true. Life wouldn't be fun or fair if everyone got stuck in the middle, right? It doesn't mean you have to do everything on your own, a lot of times we need help from others to get through things. I want you to also keep in mind that things won't ever change until you make them change. Change won't come on it's own

[chinatoocute]

Well u don't really understand what you mean with change but I'm scared to tell my school they are gonna put me in a mental hospital their gonna think in trying to commit sucide that's what happen last time I tired to talk to them about me thinking of harming myself

[Bluetears]

Hmm... You may always come pm me if you have the urges and you don't think you can handle it.

Just because you cut yourself doesn't mean your going to commit suicide and schools know that. Expecially if you show them the cuts and tell them it's a coping skill and you don't want to die. They won't put you in a mental hospital at least they shouldn't. But self harm is VERY addictive and since you only started this week I really think you should try and stop before it gets any worse. Talk to your grandma and ask if you can go to therapy maybe even tell her why. You should seek help as soon as possible. Telling the school is a good start but they might to be right to handle the subject. But Please seek help right away. I've been self-harming since I was 5 years old and it has taken over my life at times. You can always talk to me if you need too.

I want to say something about the rubber band that actually might not be the best idea. Because you could actually use it as a way to self-harm to so just be careful.

[chinatoocute]

Well that's what happen in my last school they sent me to the mental hospital for threatening to hurt my self. An can you tell how to pm i don't really know how to actually.

[chinatoocute]

I cut my arm 15 times again I didn't wanna do it but I had to it juss felt so good and the razor kept staring at me like it was calling me idek I feel like I'm crashing I'm honestly losing it

[crotia]

I have a friend who is very suicidal and the school knows and he's still around. Allthough he has help for it.

But check out this awesome workbook it may be of some help to you. I found it to be very helpfull. http://www.katimorton.com/sh-workbook-vol-1-sign-up/
t's totally free So I'd try it if I were you.

Also try to keep it from becoming an addiction. I know like you feel like you crave it now. But really the earlier you stop the better.

Also your grandma might just not know how to coop with it.

[hocus pocus]

Originally Posted by chinatoocute

An can you tell how to pm i don't really know how to actually.

To send someone a PM, you can go to their profile and look under their name where it says "Send a message to [username]" and you can select "Send a private message to [username]". You can also click on their username in this thread and then click "Send a private message".

Like everyone else has said, I definitely think you should reach out to someone about this. Reaching out is hard, but it's worth it so you can get the help that you need. A lot of people have trouble with the idea of someone they love harming themselves, so your grandmother might need some time to think if you decide to tell her about this.

In the meantime, I suggest looking at the alternatives that have been provided to you. I also think you should consider moving the tools that you're using to harm yourself. You can put them in another room so you'll have to walk by some distractions, or you can put them up high so it is difficult to get to them.

[chinatoocute]

Thank you calico and Croatia but I'm gonna try to reach out to someone I'm just scared I might get judged or be called something. But I mght try telling my school guadiance I'm really comfortable with him just hope they don't try to put me in the hospital again.

[Bluetears]

Maybe if they do try to, tell them you don't want to go to a hospital, or you can tell him that before you open up to him?

[Sophrosyne]

I don't think your grandma is being heartless in this situation I just think she doesn't know what to say so she's waiting for you to bring it up with her before she mentions it. I mean, someone really close to me got told about it by someone else but didn't talk to me about it until I spoke to her. You just have to mention it to her and she may have something interesting to say about it. If you don't want you don't have to but just an idea.