My boyfriend is cutting, what do I do?

[snowdrop]

So a while ago I told my boyfriend I used to cut myself a few years back. But recently I have started again, but that isn't the problem. My boyfriend saw and he was really upset and i saw cuts and he said no to worry. Then I saw more and I don't know what to do or say because he isn't going to listen to me. Please help.

[User Anon.]

Hey.

I'm sorry, it must feel terrible to find out you're boyfriend is having a hard time and is cutting. I'm not really experienced in relationships, but I would say....

Have you tried asking him what's wrong? Try not to constantly pester him about it, though. Don't bring it up for a couple of days. Let him know that you respect his decision of not telling you. Give him space for a bit.

If he's hesitant to talk to you, don't push him. If he doesn't want to tell you about it, don't pressure him. Maybe he's scared that you'll leave him once you know the truth. Just generally let him know you love him (without actually bringing up this topic). No matter what. Let him know that you're going to be with him through everything. Let him know that he can trust you with a secret.

I hope I've helped in some way or the other Good luck! I hope things go right for you and your boyfriend PM me whenever you like. Please keep me updated on what's going on...?

[fallingstargirl]

Hey,

I'm sorry this is happening to both you and your boyfriend. I think it's worth trying to talk to him. You don't have to try and convince him to do anything right away, but you can tell him you noticed the cuts and are worried about how he's doing. If he seems open about it, or at least okay with talking about it, you could show him a list of alternatives (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/) or even direct him to this site. If he waves it off, says he's fine, or refuses to talk about it, try to give him some space. Like the above poster said, don't constantly ask him or pester him about it. Just bring it up now and then and ask if he's okay.

If it seems like his situation is really bad or is getting worse, you could tell a parent, teacher, or guidance counselor about it (keep in mind that if you tell an adult at school, they are usually required to tell the counseling department and your boyfriend's parents. You could look into the specific rules for your school if you're interested). It might not seem like a good option because of how he might react, but his safety is what's most important.

Other than that, just try to spend time with him and be kind to him. He'll definitely appreciate it. Don't forget to take care of yourself, too – try different alternatives from the list I linked to and see what works. Telling a close friend or adult could also help.

Good luck with everything. Shoot me a message if you need anything or want to talk
~Estelle

[hocus pocus]

Like it's already been said, I think you should sit down with him and let him know that you've noticed some things in him lately that you're worried about. I suggest letting him know that you're there for him if he needs anything, and leaving it at that. His struggle with self-harm is something he has to talk about when he's ready. If he's not ready, that's okay, but I'm sure it'll help him to know that you're there for him when he's ready to talk about it.

[strayalicat]

What is best to do is to show him how much you care. Dont give him a whole buch of burdening questions and don't try to push him. Suggest alternatives in a kind but helpful manner. Show him that you need him and it hurts you to see him hurt

[Theaweseomrguy]

Maybe it would be best to talk to him and see what he is feeling that's causing this. It might help him also you could try to get him to see a counselor if he is willing to then this may help him to figure out and resolve what he is dealing with without self harming.