TeenHelp - Non-PG13: How do I get my boyfriend to stop cutting?

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- - Non-PG13: How do I get my boyfriend to stop cutting? (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t133664-how-do-i-get-my-boyfriend-stop-cutting/)

How do I get my boyfriend to stop cutting?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a while and quite frequently he ends up in the hospital. It happens maybe 2 times a month for different reasons. He tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago because he came out that he was bi and got bullied so much, his own mom said he was her worst mistake.
He showed me his arms..its REALLY bad.
He's also addicted to a lot of different drugs, and when hes really upset he'll go crazy and take something strong and do really dumb things
I try to be there for him as much as I can. I told him to text me when he wants to cut and he said that he did but apparently the "message didnt go through" because i never got that text.
He needs to stop before he does something really bad to himself and i try my hardest to get him to but I don't know what to do.
Help anyone?

Re: How do I get my boyfriend to stop cutting?

Hi there!

I have moved this over to the Self Harm forum because it seems more appropriate there.

I first want to say that it is amazing you have been supportive of your boyfriend! I think that the biggest thing you can do for him is let him know how much you care about him. Be there for him, not only for support but just in general, spend time with him and lift his spirits, and let him know he can talk to you whenever. You can't force him to talk, but it will feel nice that he has somewhere to turn.

This is a list of other people who can help, and this is a list of hotlines, so perhaps you can even suggest some of the people and hotlines on this list so he has places to go. He definitely doesn't deserve to go through this alone!

Does his school have a gay-straight alliance or similar program? It may be useful if he joins it, because that way he will get unbiased support from other people who have been in his shoes before.Remind him how even though his mom may not have been supportive, there will be people out there that will.

Things like self harm and drugs do not actually help. They make the problems worse when you have to worry about an overdose, people finding out, or the risk of infection. Plus, the problems come back because you aren't solving them. Perhaps you can suggest an alternative to him? Even if some don't work for him, a few are bound to! They are healthier, safer ways to cope so he can start breaking the addictions of self harm and substances.

Again, the best thing you can do is let him know how much you care.

I hope all goes well for both of you!

-Dez

Re: How do I get my boyfriend to stop cutting?

Well my boyfriend like, is kind of a "bad boy" and he actually got kicked out of school so now hes supposed to be going to some remedial school but he doesnt go. Him and his best friend basically hang out smoking weed all day. And also like I understand hes not really stable right now but hes not exactly a very good boyfriend... Like when i try to hang out with him he wont reply or something, and then hell ask me to go to a movie at 10 oclock on a Tuesday night?? And also his best friend apparently sometimes preteneds to be him, so i never really know who im talking with on the phone which makes it really confusing, so our relationship isnt exactly the best but im gonna try to stay there for him either way.
I've tried to tell him those things you suggested about help but it just made him really mad saying like he doesnt need help hes fine he can deal with it himself bla bla bla...

Re: How do I get my boyfriend to stop cutting?

Quote:

Originally Posted by mg306 (Post 1143914)

Your boyfriend sounds a lot like me, I can relate to everything. I don't know what would make him better but what helps me get better is helping others through their issues... issues like mine. I think he just needs someone to relate to, someone (irl) who understands and goes through the same pain he does.

Re: How do I get my boyfriend to stop cutting?

Well I tried but he ended up in the phsych ward for like two weeks, and yesterday he got transfered to a rehab place a few hours away for 6 months. He can't make any calls to anyone except his mom, and only to her 1 time a week. And now the problem for me is will I be able to wait that long for him? Like we have only been dating a month and were not super close, but I mean I don't wanna kick him when he's down and just leave him, and even if I wanted to right now I can't because I can't talk to him. So I don't know what to do.