TeenHelp - Self harm?

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- - Self harm? (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t131960-self-harm/)

I need advice on the nature of my self-harm (or what I believe to be self-harm) and what I should do about it. I get angry very easily over some quite minor things, and often argue with my parents, who I otherwise get along with well. One of the most effective ways of dealing with my anger and calming down is self-harm. I don't break skin, but I bite my wrists, hit my head with my hands and against walls, use belts, scarfs etc to strangle myself, put antiseptic in my eyes, choke myself on water, and make myself vomit. I don't think I am depressed, however - I am feeling much happier than I have in the past, but my anger has always been problematic, and I often feel quite overwhelmed by my future and the possibility of failure. Also, I am very competitive, so school can get very stressful. I feel really scared that I'm going to fail at things, and that other people will laugh at me, and I'll never be able to achieve my goals because I'm not good enough. I really want to talk to someone about this, and what I think is self-harm, but I find it really hard to talk about to my friends and parents, who don't seem to understand. Self-harming makes me feel better, typically when I'm angry, but sometimes when I feel angry at myself.
Does anybody know someone I could talk to, or some way to deal with the self-harm?

Hey there,

I don't know how old you are, but there definitely are people you can go to about this! For example, if you are in school still, you can talk to a teacher, guidance counselor, or school nurse. You can talk to coaches or club advisers. You can speak with doctors. In fact, here is a list of people you can talk to! And this is a list of hotlines. I do hope you will be able to talk to at least one of the people on this list, because you deserve the support. They can help you cope in other ways and manage your emotions better.

If you think it'd be easier, you can write the person you pick to speak with a letter, because that way everything will be gotten out without nerves or interruptions getting in the way. They will still want to talk about it, but at least your main points will be out!

This is a link to a list of alternatives to self harm. They are healthier, safer ways to cope so you don't have to inflict pain on yourself anymore. If one alternative doesn't work, try another! One will!

You do need to find ways to express your emotions. Writing, art, music, or exercise are all good ways to do this because they are ways to let the emotions flow in healthier ways. Exercise may especially be helpful in your situation. Maybe you can take up a sport, for example, or go on a run when you feel angry.

It seems promising to me that you wish to speak with someone about this and find ways to stop, though, because admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery!

-Dez

I think it would be a good idea to talk to a counselor, but it's up to you. They're more likely to understand what you're going through and they can give you some advice for not acting on self harm urges, finding healthy outlets for anger, and dealing with deeper issues like the anxiety you described. It's important to learn other ways of coping instead of hurting yourself because self harm can become addictive and although it makes you feel better, it isn't actually solving any of your problems. If you decide to tell a friend or family member, they may have trouble understanding why you self harm. A lot of people don't understand how it helps and it can be scary and worrisome to hear that someone you care about is injuring themselves. I would suggest maybe sending them a link that explains self harm or printing something out. Here's just one example of a site that may help. Reaching out for help can make such a difference and I'm glad you're willing to get help and talk about it.