Scratching or cutting

[Beautiful_Mess]

A urge to cut or scratch myself till I bleed is here....It won't go away, and I want it to go away...Sad thing is...I haven't cut in a month, but I miss it like fucking crazy...I miss the pain, and the blood and the feeling. WHY?
Thing is...I made a promise to never cut again...not just to my family or friends. But to God himself.
I cannot break that promise, I just can't. If I did I would disappoint him and my family.
But if I don't cut, then I'm stuck with the urge. But when it comes to promises to my family and God then I just can't be like Oh well, it won't hurt to do it this one time...
Why in the hell do I want to fucking cut, why in the hell do I miss the blood, pain ect.?????? Lately things have been fine, perfect actually...so why are the urges getting stronger???? Please someone help me on this..I don't want to be a failure on this...I don't want my mom to see me cutting again..becuz last time I got sooo addicted I almost loved it soo much I almost hit that vein...I came soo close to being in a casket..and soo close to be looking down and seeing my family grieve and cry over me....Sooo please help me... please?

[Thereishope]

Hey there!

I'm glad to see you haven't cut in a while! I also understand how the urges can still linger for a while and sometimes randomly popup again. This usually happens with any addiction, once you start it's really hard to completely let go, but it is possible! Every time you have an urge to do it try doing 1 of the ideas posted here. Main thing is to distract yourself whenever you have these urges, eventually they should finally go away completely.

[Beautiful_Mess]

Okay thank you!

[hocus pocus]

Hey Beth,

Congratulations for not cutting for a month! You should be proud of yourself. From experience, when you go longer without self-harming the urges will slowly dissipate. This will take some time, but I can promise you that they do fade! There doesn't always have to be a reason to be triggered; moods are easily changed sometimes and causes can remain unknown.

Could you talk to your mom about how you're feeling? Maybe she could offer some support. Since you want a visual of cutting, I have a few suggestions for you. Try taking a red marker or pen and drawing fake injuries on yourself. It'll look like self-harm but it is not harmful. You could paint with red paint, or you could paint your nails red, too! As for the feeling, holding ice gives you a similar sensation.

Best of luck to you!

[Beautiful_Mess]

Thank you..I'll try all of that!