Picking- Is it self harm?

[Crimosnia]

Hello everyone, I'm Crimosnia, and I have a problem. I already know it's a problem and it's occurred to me more than once many times.

I'm not quite sure how to come about it, but I have a problem with picking at my breasts. Now this is not on purpose, it just happens. I might be self-consciously or doing it out of a mental problem or something. I'm not sure what to call it. But I've been fighting with stopping for a really long time because it does leave scars and cause problems. I would like not to have scabs or what not when I want to be intimate in my future, because it's embarrassing. My reason for having the scabs and scars is that I scratch myself in my sleep, but that isn't true. I pick when I feel stressed... and I'm not sure how to address it.

What advice can you give me? What have you done to stop harming yourself? I'm not sure what I can do right now, and it's obnoxious to me.

Whether or not your picking falls into the category of self-harm, it's obviously causing a problem for you. The first step to tackling stress is to figure out what is stressful. Self-harm behaviors are doubly dangerous because we can get caught up in the distraction without ever looking at the stressor closely- indeed, that is often the point of self-harm: to distract. So the first thing to do will be to notice what causes the picking. What are you thinking about when you start picking at yourself? What feelings are present? It takes effort to step back from engaging in your go-to behavior and look at what is causing it, which is why it's good to start looking at the behavior from a more clear state of mind rather than in the middle of being stressed.

When you identify your stressor(s), it's time to gradually start replacing your picking with something else. It's a process that takes a lot of work and dedication, and you will have to try a lot of things on to find something that works for you when you are stressed. There are some good resources in the sticky section of this forum as to what you can do when you are feeling like hurting yourself. Maybe you could exercise. Or draw. Or journal. Or cook something. Or play a game. Or take a hot shower. Or talk to a friend. Or work on a project. There are many, many more things you can do. For some people it helps to get into motion and give their bodies something else to do to keep them from their trigger behavior. Others like to withdraw further inward, think about it, journal it out. Others like to experience sensations- heat, cold, heavy blankets. Still others like to get creative by either turning their stress into art or using creativity to distract them from it. You could fall into one of these categories. Or you could do something else entirely. It's just a matter of trying things out. I suggest starting by looking at things that make you feel content or peaceful and going from there, although you may find you need something more immediately strong to deal with your stress than activities you simply enjoy.

I would also recommend having someone to talk to about this. A friend, an adult or a counselor who can help you process and help you keep yourself accountable. Having support does wonders at changing behaviors; it can help you feel like you've got someone at your back instead of like you are struggling with this alone.


I once had self-harm explained to me this way: Your brain has used your self-harm behavior for coping with distress for so long, it's like a six-lane superhighway. The building of a new coping skill, like exercise (for example), is like starting with a tiny, unpaved trail. For a long time your brain is going to want to jump to the superhighway because it wants to feel better RIGHT NOW. So it takes time to repeatedly choose another coping skill, until that little gravel trail turns into a paved sidewalk, and then a road, and then eventually a highway. So, it's tricky, and it won't be easy, and you will probably slip up. When you do slip up, it's okay; don't let it sink you back down, simply commit to health once again.

By finding what stresses you out (and one thing may be to look at why, specifically, your breasts, because that's a very specific area to pick at), trying out new behaviors, seeking support and keeping an open, judgment free mind about your progress can really help start you on your way to recovery.

[hocus pocus]

Hey there!

To answer your question, any action done with the intention of hurting oneself is self-harm. You can find more information about this here.

As Jordan mentioned, identifying what stresses you out is key. One way that helps with this is to keep a journal. In it, keep the date, your feelings and the reasons for why you feel the way you do. Once you identify what stresses you out, you can take the next step which would be to work through your triggers.

I would also recommend talking to someone you trust and a professional about this so you can receive the help that you deserve.

Lastly, here is an alternative thread for you to check out when you're stressed.

Best of luck to you!