Triggering (SH): I stopped cutting... but I keep finding other ways to hurt myself

[Wings]

The last time I cut myself was months ago, but still to this day the urges to self harm will not go away. I decided to stop after I lost it and cut myself in front of my mother deliberately; I felt so much guilt and shame that I promised her I'd never do something so horrible again. Although, I tried really hard, my self discipline has been starting to deteriorate lately. Whenever things start to get bad, all I can think about is cutting and when I refuse myself of it - my mind jumps to other things like burning, scratching, whipping, etc. (Including other bad activities like drinking or smoking) It's like my mind starts racing and is flooded with these urges to do horrible things to myself; and eventually the emotions just become too heavy.
I still haven't cut myself, but lately I've been scratching and pinching my hands until they're swollen and red. I've been also holding my arms in steaming hot water for as long as I can, I keep trying to justify these things because technically they're not "cutting." But deep down I know it's still wrong.
Any advice on how I can get through this? Is it normal to continue having urges for this long?

Thank you for reading

[hocus pocus]

Congrats on going months without cutting! Here, have some balloons. You should be proud of yourself

With time, these urges do slowly subside. But with anyone who has struggled with self harm or anything similar, it's going to be a little remnant in your head for a while. Because you're not letting go of these emotions, it becomes manifested in another way. Can you find out what's behind these feelings? Find out what's been triggering you? If you feel triggered, try to write down why. It doesn't have t be legible because it's just you having to read and write it. Another thing to do is to keep yourself distracted. You might want to check this thread out.You could talk on the phone, go for a run, that sort of thing. You've come so far without cutting, you can keep going!

[coolkid98]

Well done on going without cutting, that's really good. You should be really proud of yourself.
As Cassie said, try and distract yourself. Make sure to take good care of your wounds, you can find first aid information here. You could also call up a local hotline for someone to talk to, you can find hotlines here.
Feel free to VM or PM me if you ever need to talk.

Hey there,

I think it is normal to come up with other ways to self harm. I know that I have struggled with this in the past but as stated you can overcome this. Recovering from self harm can be a really hard thing to do but it is worth it.

I think you should definitely check out the alternatives to self harm whenever you are feeling an urge to harm yourself. (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/) It might seem as though the alternatives are not working at first but if you keep using them your body can and will adjust to them. Your body has gotten used to self harm so it will take time for it to adjust to other ways of coping.

Would you feel comfortable reaching out to your parents or another trusted adult about this so that you could work on getting counseling for this? I know that might be hard to do but in the end counseling could be a really good tool for you in overcoming this. A counselor would give you a safe place to talk about all the things that are bothering you and would help you work on finding healthy ways of coping with your stressors.

Do you know the things that are triggering your urges? If you can work on figuring out what is triggering you you can work on trying to resolve those issues or at least find some proper coping skills for those triggers. Something that might help you work on identifying your triggers is keeping a journal. Whenever you are feeling an urge to harm yourself you can write in your journal and this will, hopefully, open you up to some of your triggers.

I really hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.

[scarsremindme]

cutting is an addictive behaviour and so are all other forms of self harm. and while you are not cutting you are hurting yourself and thats one in the same thing. go to a professional and talk about other ways to cope with your problems.

[Wings]

Thanks to everyone who responded! I really appreciate all the encouragement, and it's relieving to hear that these urges will subside more one day. I'm going to start journaling my triggers and take it from there. I'll also be sure to check out the page of alternatives - thanks for posting the link, BreakingBeautifully!
Thank you again for the insight