TeenHelp - Triggering (SH): Self harm confusion?

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Self harm confusion?

Bacically I used to self harm (6 months ago or something) and my scars have just about healed. But last week something bad happened and I made 63 cuts to mu left arm. In school yesterday so e teachers saw because I accidently rolled my sleves up. The school had a meeting with my mum and told me she will talk to me as soon as I get home.. Scary thing is, She hasnt spoke bout it. All she has spoke about os dinner and waterloo road tonight. That it. All she is talking about. Like I'm not going to cut again.. But shouldnt she talk to me? Anyway I am really scared about what she will say and the school is making me have counselling but.. Just out of curiousity are school services meant to tell your perents about SH or will they get kicked out of they didnt? Thanks tah xx

Re: Self harm confusion?

Hey there!

So, if I read right, the school said your mom would talk to you? Or did your mom say that? Yes, the school is supposed to inform your parents if you're under the age of eighteen. That doesn't mean that all schools do that, though; even if they should. Sometimes parents take a little while to form what they want to say. She's probably in a little shock, so maybe she'll say something eventually. If she doesn't, you might want to consider starting a conversation with her. Just remember that she's not angry or upset at you, she's upset at the situation that you're in.

Re: Self harm confusion?

6 months is an incredibly long time to go without self-harming, I hope you'll feel porud of yourself for managing to reach such a long period of time without! Remember that just because you've relapsed, it's never a problem either.

Your mum may not approach you for several reasons. Remember that she's just been given this huge piece of troubling information about her daughter, she may not yet be ready to confront you about what you're going through as much as you may expect her to. Alternatively she may be waiting for you to approach her first or she many not even know how yet to handle the situation so feels it's best brushed under the carpet until a later date.

Usually when you start counselling with a school they will discuss things with your parents if they feel the need to. There has to be a level of confidentiality where the person receiving counselling may not want their parents to know private things that have been discussed but the counsellor may feel it's necessary to tell your parents if she feels you're a danger to yourself and feels you may need further help.

Re: Self harm confusion?

I know what you both mean but It just makes me feel worse that she isn't confronting me and the school to,d me that my mum told them that she was going to talk when I got home. I just hope all goes well and I have a plan for staying away from self harm. Thanks everyone <3

Re: Self harm confusion?

Message me if you need anything :hug:

Re: Self harm confusion?

Congratulations on reaching six months SH-Free! :D

I would say maybe approach your mum. Just start talking to her, don't ask her questions relating to what she found out today. She can only stay quiet and ignore you for so long. I know you probably don't want to take that first step to initiate a conversation, but it might be for the best.

Schools are supposed to inform your parents if you self-inflict an injury upon yourself, they're required to by law. They believe you are a danger to yourself (not necessarily others, but it has happened in the past) and need to get it resolved. They might also recommend you talk to a counselor, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I know you did go half a year without SH, but tell them about it if you do get assigned a counselor. Explain what caused you to relapse and maybe they can discuss that with you and not the fact you SH.