Self-harm and mania/hypomania

[i_like_black]

I know self-harm is often associated with depression, low self-esteem, desire to control something, and other things that are generally interpreted as being on the more negative side of life.

I was just wondering if anybody else has any experience of self-harm on the . . . well, not more positive, put perhaps higher side of life. I have been diagnosed with a mood disorder and as a result I experience highs and lows.

I find I self-harm frequently whilst I am in a more elevated state.

Does anyone else find this for themselves? Does anybody have any insight as to why this may be the case? I have always assumed that if a person feels like they're in a good space mentally, that they would be LESS likely to self-harm but for myself it doesn't seem to quite work like that?

Any responses would be highly appreciated.
Thanks!

[Viper1996]

I have Ptsd and psychosis, I have up and downs, but when I'm down I self harm less then when I'm up, I don't know when I asked my CAMHS worker they said its because when ur up, you think more clearly about things. I don't know if this is the same with you.

[lurkalot]

Hi Jess, I have a similar experience. I only self harm when I am in a hypomanic/manic state because I have so much energy that I need to get rid of moderately safely- self harm helps with that.

By safely (obviously self harm isn't safe) I mean more safe than what I would do without self harm- I get suicidal when I am low but I don't have the energy to go through with it, however when I'm up I really have the urge to kill myself, so self harm kind of calms that down a little. Also when I'm manic I generally want to do very dangerous things. It doesn't matter what my manic mood is, a depressed-like manic state or an ecstatically happy one, I self harm to appease the immense energy.