Triggering (SH): Self-Harm Dream

[malikslover]

Last night I had a really weird dream, like, it was really weird. And a lot of the things I dream happen in real life not too long after I dream them. Anyways, lemme explain. And there was a LOT of bad words so I'm gonna censor those.

So it started off, me and my mom were fighting about something and she was yelling about how I was trying to get attention for myself by being depressed and staying in my room most of my days. I got so pissed off and pulled up my sleeve, revealing my scars to her yelling "Do you see what your words f-ing do to me? They make me do this! And I can't f-ing stop it because I'm a pathetic bit** and I can't stand breathing or doing anything in public because I know I'll be judged. And you haven't noticed because you're so f-ing busy with your work and talking to your dumb-as* boyfriend!"
And of course I was crying by now. And she started yelling something then all of a sudden I was cut off and I was in this line to a mental hospital. And I saw my ex there and it was quite awkward. And then she registered me into this program for my self-harm issues and left me. Then I went in and bo one really came up to kinda show me around so I wondered until I was pushed into a room where I cried. My scars showed and all of my bracelets disappeared. I was in my room alone and I had the need to cut but I know I couldn't or else I'd get in trouble.

It's blurry from there but it just freaked me out. I don't know if this means something or what. If anyone knows what this means or what they think that'd be amazing. I was actually quite startled when I woke up, which was at 4:30 in the afternoon. And no I'm not seeing a therapist or anything. I used to go to a counselor but that made it 5 times worse. And no, my mom doesn't know I self-harm.

[justdatdude]

Well, this dream was certainly...adventurous.

Dreams prepare for the unexpected, which is what they are inplace for.

Generally, i don't know what to say, apart from you should tell your mother, you self-harm, this is extremely important that she knows, and i'm PRETTY SURE shes not going to "throw you into a mental room" Generally, she'll just talk and listen to you more often. Its what it does, she'll care for you. Though, she can only do this, if you open up to her.

Tell your mother, and it'll get alot easier. You will feel SO MUCH more comfortable when someone you know is someone who is helping you, i,e your mother, instead of a counsellor.

I Hope i helped. <3 pm/vm me for anything at all.

[Oxytocin]

Hey,

I think dreams generally help to reveal a lot about ourselves, particularly how we really feel on the inside and our struggle to convey these feelings to other people in our life.

Anyway, this is what I seemed to understand from your dream...

First off, the fight between your mother appears to me that maybe you're fearful of the image she might have of you if you decide to tell her of your self-harm. And the words you yelled back at her when you showed her your scars reveal that perhaps that you don't feel supported by your mum at the moment and you really just want to tell her how you feel so that she can finally just understand.

The part where your mum took you to a mental hospital might illustrate that you're afraid that she'll not deal with the situation in the right way, and will put you somewhere where she won't have to deal with you.

When you were left alone in a room and your scars were on display, it illustrates that maybe you're at a place right now where you're feeling really lonely, isolated and you don't know what to do. Also, not cutting because you know you would get in trouble may mean that you feel restricted and like you're not completely in control of your life right now.

If some of the feelings I described really do sound like you, I think it's important to talk to your mum about it. You don't have to tell her that you self-harm, because I know that seems like a pretty terrifying thing to do, but I think you may have some unresolved feelings and need to find a way to resolve these without the continuous coping mechanism of self-harming.

Whatever you decide to do, I'll be here if you need me