Cutting: Relief momentarily, Guilt for eternity

[CrimsonLines]

I hate how cutting quiets the voices in my head and the welled up emotions inside of me. I hate how cutting works better than any other coping skill. I hate how cutting gives me quick relief but then guilt plagues me shortly after. I hate how cutting is a never ending cycle. I hate that I'm addicted to the release that the blade gives me. I am a prisoner to what I thought gave me freedom. I try and try to break free but the chains that bind me to the blade are to strong for me to break. I've been cutting for four years now and I am so tired of being a slave to self harm. I want to quit but everything I try to do fails. I wish I knew how to stop but I don't. Anyone here also struggle with the same thing as me or am I just a hopeless case?

Hey, Melanie (that's my cousin's name). I'm Christabel.

I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I know how hard it can be, the guilt and trying to stop and not being able to... Have you taken a read over the Self-Harm alternatives? If not, I suggest trying them all out for a bit to find out which ones work for you. Don't be frustrated if you try some and they don't work. It can take a little while. Have patience. Another thing I do, is when I wanna self-harm I think of my best friend. The most important person in my life. That gives me motivation to not self-harm because I'd make him sad. Of course he'd hug me and tell me it's okay but still. It's a thought that'll be in his mind and make him sad. So instead I try to make him proud. Take someone in your life that you love and care for and use it as a motivator to stop. I haven't cut for 9 days because of this. Which is quite big for me. It can really work. Don't worry if this doesn't work at first though because relapses happen during recovery so don't beat yourself up. Just keep that person in your mind and along the way you're sure to find better coping mechanisms.

Writing down all your feelings and thoughts in a journal also can help a lot. It's a way to release your feelings in a healthy way. If you can, I suggest talking with a counselor/therapist/trusted friend or your family. Having support from people in real life can make all the positive difference in the world. Having someone to vent and talk to when you're down is important. We all need assistance at times so don't feel guilty. (:

Your question... Of course. A lot of us struggle with this. And we all know how hard it can be. This is never hopeless, ever. You can always get through this. You can VM/PM me if you ever need to talk because I'd love to listen. You have love and support here.

You can do this. Hope I helped a bit.

Stay strong <3

~ Christabel

[SunsetScars]

I'm going through the same thing. but I started summer 2012. my best friend took my razors (I love him) and that stopped me until I found another and so tomorrow I have to tell him apologies.
forgive yourself. look at youtube videos for help, I've seen a girl with disasterous scars and that made me get rid of mine. maybe you don't see how many of us are repeating what you just said in our own heads too.
I'm not going to say stay strong, because I can tell your not strong. but find that someone- honestly ANYONE who will love you unconditionally and if you don't have any other reasi to quit make them your reason because really hurting yourself hurts others too.
I'm here too even though we don't know eachother. Hi, my names Candy.
c: I believe in you.