I don't want to be here anymore. I can't stop cutting

[Lucy&themachine]

I've been feeling depressed for a while now, it's mostly my dad he has a new girl friend and doesn't care about me, so I resolved to cutting my wrists a part of me wants him to eve so he'll give me the attention I want but I'm scared of what my family will say he'll help me through it but tell his girlfriend and she will tell all her daughters I just want him to notice me, spend time with his daughter how can't he see? How can't he see I need him? I don't want to be me, I don't want to be on this earth any more, I'm scared of what il do to myself I can't control myself when I get worked up. I just want my dad back I miss him. No body cares enough to stay with me, if I died no one would notice so why should I stay when no one cares?

Hi, Lucy.

I'm sorry your dad isn't giving you the attention you need. I really do understand the negative impact that can have on a person. But hey, listen. Your dad does love you, he loves you a lot and sometimes parents get lonely. This is something he needs and he must like her. Think about older children and their friends. You love your parents but you hang out with friends a lot because you're growing up and need a little space. Remember though, your dad is always there for you. Just because he's seeing this girl doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore or wanna be around you.

How about talking to him? Tell him you have something important to talk to him about. Talk with him privately and tell him you feel like he doesn't wanna be around you anymore. Be open with how you're feeling about this and let him know you miss him. Let him know you've been hurting yourself but ask him to keep it between you and him because you're trusting him.

You are loved, Lucy. You will be missed because your dad does love you. He's your dad, of course he cares. I don't know you but now I care about you because I know of how the loneliness feels.

Can you speak to a therapist or a school counselor about how you're feeling? Or a relative/trusted adult or a friend? It's important for someone to help you. Suffering in silence doesn't solve anything. I know it can be pretty scaring talking to someone but bravery can make a really big positive impact on things.

Cutting is never a good solution to anything. You may not realize it or think you can keep it in check but it can become addictive and you may use it as your only outlet to everything. That's not a natural healthy way to cope with problems. Self-harm can take away the way you're supposed to deal with problems. Right now it may be relief but sometime it'll get hard to cover up, you'll deal with urges and the guilt will bring so many more negative emotions than ever. You feel guilty and wanna stop but can't because self-harm became a way to cope. Please try to stop now, sweetie. You deserve better than this. Take a read over this thread of Self-Harm Alternatives.

Writing your feelings down in a journal can help express some emotions. Some new hobbies and interests can help the soul onto a more positive approach as well. Like...

Music
Gaming
Movies/TV
Biking
Playing Sports
Drawing/Painting

Whatever you like to do. Do things that make you happy.

Suicide isn't the answer, neither is self-harm. Things will get better because you have your whole life ahead and so much time to get better. There can't be a rainbow if there's no storm and sunshine. Your dad loves you. Always remember you DO have people that care. I care. Don't ever give up, hun. You can do this. You deserve happiness and recovery and it is possible to get that.

Stay strong. <3

~ Christabel