Triggering (SH): Cutting and anorexia

[piper]

hi guys, I have recently started cutting and I am just overwhelmed with school, my type one diabetes, and my weight. I am also anorexic/bulimic and I'm starving and It makes me want to cry every time I look at myself in the mirror or weigh myself, which lead to my cutting and I can't stop. only two of my friends know because they saw me changing and i get mad at th when they try to help because I don't feel normal or like I fit in. I'm also on varsity volleyball and sometimes my cuts under my spandex are hardto hide which stress me out too. I just have so many feelings and depressing feelings my only escape is to cut but I hate it and I hate myself and I don't get along with my parents. is anybody going through the same thing?

[hocus pocus]

You aren't alone. I have an eating disorder, too. Everyone can tell me I'm skinny, but all I see is a fat pig. The number has to go down in my mind. As for the self harm, I cut (main form-since I was ten) burn, bruise, break/sprain bones, and starve.

I understand about your friends not being able to help you. At least they're trying. In all actuality, there's really nothing anyone can say to make it all better, you know?

I don't hate my parents, but they do trigger me often. I got in an arguement with my mom two days ago, then I tried to kill myself. I think the problem with parents is that they don't want to believe that their child is going through this hell. They don't know how to react, and most of the time they react in anger.

I think you should try not to weigh yourself as much if that's a trigger. I totally understand the need to weigh yourself, though. Try to weigh yourself once a week (In the morning before you eat and after you use the bathroom for the most accuracy)

For your cutting, try to slowly wean yourself away from it. Instead of every day, try every other day and so on. Try to cut where it isn't visible, like your stomach or upper thighs. I'm not going to tell you not to cut because I'd be a hyporcrite, but keep your cuts clean so they don't get infected.

Message me if you ever need to talk.

[toiamol]

'M goin through something similar im trying to go back to normal eating habits and im having bout 200-300 calories/day. However, i cant help self-harming every time i eat. I feel good as im starting to get over this obsession, but i feel so fat i literally fEel my body putting on weight with every single bite i have, and the only way of dealing wid it is self-harming. I just wanna be normal/: