Ready to do it
 

I am just so so tired and feel like I can’t do it anymore.

Im about to finish college but getting a real job at this point seems so daunting and I’ve been so depressed recently that I can’t even bring myself to do it. But I have no familial support so I need a job desperately, but I can’t even imagine having the energy for a full time job. I am so tired and usually I go in and out of depression but I can’t get out of it this time. I’ve reached out to people and that doesn’t even help. I’m isolating, I don’t have energy for anyone or anything I usually enjoy and I just don’t see a point anymore. There just seems to be more and more thibgs every day that make me feel shitter about myself and just make me justify wanting to die.

I don’t even know by I’m writing here, I don’t know what I’m looking for. I really just want to die, but every time I really go there I think of my brother and boyfriend and then feel so supremely guilty. But I’m bringing my boyfriend down, and I’ve isolated myself from my brother anyway so they would be better off anyway.