It's getting bad again

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]I feel so helpless. There's no point for me to live anymore. The whole world is so confusing and I'm just so tired of everything. I want to end it all but at the same time I don't, but I feel like that's the only way out. I tried talking about it to my parents but they don't get it. I am rotting, it feels like I'm getting eaten from inside out. I forget to eat food and drink water, how am I supposed to continue living? My parents aren't worried for me because of it, they're just mad. They always yell at me for everything being my fault. "If you just went out. If you just would talk with your family. if you just would eat". I miss how everything used to be. How we used to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner together on the table. When we told each other riddles and jokes. When we were so close together. I want to go back to that time. I miss it so much. I miss the mom and dad i used to have. If they just cared for me again. If they just held me close and told me it's going to be okay, then it really would be[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

Hey,

I'm sorry you're going through this right now.

You're right, the world is confusing. I'll never deny that. But there are some pretty cool parts too. Concerts, the different seasons, playing video games, going on "adventures (even to the gas station!)." There's a ton of things out there that are worth it. Thisis a list of reasons to live, so there are even more ideas on here.

My therapist always tells me to find things to look forward to. It can be a new game, book, movie, or season of a TV show being released. You can look forward to seeing the leaves turn orange in the fall, if you live in a climate where that happens. You can look forward to visiting with a friend, summer vacation, or many other things. It gets you excited for a while. Also create goals for yourself that are achievable, even short-term goals. You can make a goal to start making your bed every day, to learn a new language, skill, or hobby, a goal to finish a puzzle, or anything really. Just make sure it's achievable. It gives you something to be proud of, and then you can build on that goal or create an entirely new goal.

I'm sorry you don't get support from your parents. Mine don't really understand mental illness either and it took me getting hospitalized as an adult for them to finally realize how serious this is. Does your school have a guidance counselor? They can be supportive of what you're going through. In the US, they would have to tell an adult if they think you are at risk of self harm or suicide, but other things can be kept confidential. They can even talk to your parents for you, if you think it would help. Sometimes having another adult talk to them can make them realize how serious this is. If not, the guidance counselor can be supportive of you anyway. You can also talk to a teacher, friend's parents, adult family member like an aunt, uncle, or adult cousin, religious leader, or another adult in your life who you trust. I found that I had to seek support outside of the home to get my needs met.

Do you think they'd be receptive to doing some of those things again? Maybe you can cook them a meal and say you want to sit down and eat it together. Or, you can bring out a game that they like and say you want to play it with them as a family. I know it sucks to have to be the one to initiate, but maybe they'd be receptive.

Remember that depression is not your fault. It's caused by a combination of things, such as things that are going on in our lives but also chemical imbalances in the brain. You can't help how your brain is wired.

I hope you feel better soon.

Take care,
Dez

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello and welcome to Teenhelp, thank you for coming on and telling us about what you have been going through and I am sorry you are having a hard time with this and hope that you will be okay soon. Do you have anyone at school or a friend that you can talk to about this and they can help you to talk to your parents about this so that you will be okay soon? Try a teacher or a school counselor or someone you trust and talk to them. I hope that you will be okay soon. Also, you can join us if you ever wanted to and talk about this more or anything else. I hope you will be okay soon.

[This_is_the_greatest_plan]

Im so sorry you feel so low. Your parents sound like they can be really warm and loving but that somethings changed. Do you know what that is?

[kiricowell]

Your points are very clear and easy to understand because of how you formatted them

[Hiraeth.]

Hey, thanks for reaching out! I want to say I can totally, 100% relate to how you are feeling in the sense of wanting to go back to how things used to be. I've been struggling with my parents' apathy for a few years now, and they're always like "well, if you'd just..." But no, we don't want 'to just' by ourselves. My point is, I can relate to how you're feeling, with both your parents and the state of the world today.

We can't go back in time and this is something I'm struggling to accept myself. What I am trying to do, when I remember to because depression can make us forgetful!, is to reach out to those that are meaningful to me. It's hard when others lead such busy lives, but sending a text message or a message on Facebook — or whatever your preferred platform is — and just quickly saying something like hey, what's your plans for next weekend? or Been a while since we caught up, let's go for coffee soon! to get the ball rolling.

I would suggest making a note on your phone calendar app, set reminders to do even the most basic of things. Eat, brush your teeth, take your medicine/vitamins, etc etc. I've been advised to create to-do lists of what I want to do for the day or for the week but they have never worked for me so I would not advise that for anyone else. However, if you feel it might work and want to give it a try, then go for it!

Wishing you the best of luck. Feel free to reach out again.