Triggering: My Mental Health.

[Dawn.]

So recently, my mental health has taken it's toll on me. This current lockdown is effecting me more than what I thought it was and with other factors, I have been struggling mentally, more then I would like to admit. I have lacked motivation to engage in things that I normally would enjoy such as reading and I have been lazy when it has come to my studies. Even though I am an essential worker and I still have been able to keep my full-time hours, I have fallen back into my depression due to not being able to see my family or friends as well as potentially catching the virus and passing onto other people. I miss being able to travel and to have my freedom to do what I want, to be able to catch up with people I care about. As much as I love my boyfriend and I thoroughly enjoy living with him, it's extremely difficult not being able to see my family or friends. I have started to crave alcohol and I have dramatically reduced the amount that I drink - so much so that I have surprised myself and haven't had alcohol at all for a very long time. I have felt better and am extremely proud of myself that I do not drink nowhere near as much as what I used to but I am terrified that due to lockdown and how I have been feeling because of it, I will start slipping back into my old habits that I have worked so hard to overcome. I feel a sense of frustration that I am doing the right thing but other people seem to feel like they can do whatever they please and break the lockdown restrictions, forcing the government to extend the lockdown due to the rising cases of Covid-19. Despite how I am feeling, at the same time, this lockdown has put my life into perspective. I have been able to rekindle my love of photography and I have had more time to catch up on things that I wasn't able to do before. I don't feel so tired all the time because I am not working so much and I have been able to spend more time at home and with my boyfriend. But I just feel awful. Probably the worst I have felt in as many years. And yet, no-one knows how bad I'm feeling because I can't seem to find the words or the courage to do so. I am pushing myself to ensure I keep my routine so I won't fall into my depression even further but it's getting harder to do so and my anti-depressants don't seem to be working as effectively as what they used to. I'm just struggling.

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

I don't blame you for feeling that way. This lockdown is so tough, especially when you have people that you're close with who you no longer can see and spend time with face-to-face. Do you think that maybe your boyfriend and also being able to take photography will help you to avoid the urge to drink? Even if you can't find the words right now, spending a little extra time may help.
Are you still able to maybe do telehealth with your prescriber since your antidepressants aren't working as well?

[Dawn.]

Originally Posted by Wheek!

I don't blame you for feeling that way. This lockdown is so tough, especially when you have people that you're close with who you no longer can see and spend time with face-to-face. Do you think that maybe your boyfriend and also being able to take photography will help you to avoid the urge to drink? Even if you can't find the words right now, spending a little extra time may help.
Are you still able to maybe do telehealth with your prescriber since your antidepressants aren't working as well?

Thank you for your reply.

Possibly. I have been busy with distracting myself by going for walks and things like that. I have had to force myself to study and that's made me feel better.

I have been thinking about talking to my doctor about what I can do in regards to my anti-depressants to see what he says.

[Everglow.]

I can completely understand why your mental health has taken a dip with everything you've described going on. The uncertainty of lockdowns, mixed with the fact you can't see the people who would usually make you feel better is really hard. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this and I hope that the lockdowns where you are can end soon so that you're able to see the people you care about again. I think it's really good that you have hobbies such as photography to keep you busy though. It sounds like it would be a really good way to let you get some creative outlet for what you might be feeling too. Depending on what the rules are where you are, could you maybe do a socially distanced photography walk with one member of your family every now and then? If this isn't possible I understand though.

If you're struggling to find the words for how you feel in order to open up to people, maybe you could write it down like you have here? Sometimes it's easier to word things when you have time to think it through and word it without being under pressure. A letter, or a poem might be useful here. I would suggest talking to your doctor if you're feeling like your medication isn't working as well as it should be though. They may be able to tweak it a bit to see if that can help.

You should definitely be proud of yourself for avoiding habits which didn't make you feel good though! I know it can seem like a small thing at a time like this, but it's definitely something to be proud of and congratulate yourself for. Either way, I hope you're coping okay and I'm glad you came here to talk about it. I hope that helps you get through this.

[Dawn.]

Originally Posted by Everglow.

I can completely understand why your mental health has taken a dip with everything you've described going on. The uncertainty of lockdowns, mixed with the fact you can't see the people who would usually make you feel better is really hard. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this and I hope that the lockdowns where you are can end soon so that you're able to see the people you care about again. I think it's really good that you have hobbies such as photography to keep you busy though. It sounds like it would be a really good way to let you get some creative outlet for what you might be feeling too. Depending on what the rules are where you are, could you maybe do a socially distanced photography walk with one member of your family every now and then? If this isn't possible I understand though.

If you're struggling to find the words for how you feel in order to open up to people, maybe you could write it down like you have here? Sometimes it's easier to word things when you have time to think it through and word it without being under pressure. A letter, or a poem might be useful here. I would suggest talking to your doctor if you're feeling like your medication isn't working as well as it should be though. They may be able to tweak it a bit to see if that can help.

You should definitely be proud of yourself for avoiding habits which didn't make you feel good though! I know it can seem like a small thing at a time like this, but it's definitely something to be proud of and congratulate yourself for. Either way, I hope you're coping okay and I'm glad you came here to talk about it. I hope that helps you get through this.

Thank you for your reply.
I do Facetime with my parents every 2nd day which helps and I hope to go for a walk with my parents and their dog on the weekend. I might talk to my boyfriend about how I am feeling and see what he says. I can arrange to see my doctor or I'll speak to them over the phone so they might be able to prescribe me with something else.
Hopefully this lockdown will end sooner rather than later.