Triggering: I think I need help

[LazarusBlackstar]

Hi person browsing through this uplifting part of this website,

I feel sad all the time now, I don't feel like I can be happy anymore. I've considered suicide, but I'm scared. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone, like no one listens. I just don't know what to do. I feel like there is one person who listens. The problem is that we have to hide it whenever we talk. I need to talk to somebody but don't know who.

Thanks for listening.

[startangle]

you are really dealing with a serious problem. Please let us know how can we be of help?

[Everglow.]

Hey,

I'm sorry to hear that things have been hard for you and I can definitely understand that feeling unable to talk to anybody can make things worse. It's really great that you've come here and reached out to us; there will always be someone here you can talk to even if finding someone in real life is hard.

When you feel sad a lot it can be hard to believe that you can be happy, but that doesn't mean that what your brain is telling you is the truth. It's no reason to give up, it's just a hint that maybe your mind isn't doing too well right now. Perhaps when you find yourself in a hole you can try looking for things that give you positive emotions rather than negative ones. Write a couple of things a day that make you feel better, like the fact the sun is shining, or the fact you've changed your bedsheets and it feels really soft when you get into bed now. They can be really meaningless, silly things, but as long as they give you a positive feeling, they matter just as much as the things that hurt. Little by little, you can build up an inventory of happy things to look back over when you're struggling to see a way forward. They can be a reminder that even when things are bad, there are still things that make you happy.

A good way to get through bad days is also to try and keep distracted. Try reading a few chapters of a book, or writing something. A bit of escapism can be really helpful in making a bad day pass by, and in my experience, it can help me feel better a the end of it too.

Finally, I know you said you feel like nobody listens when you need to talk, but perhaps you can try explaining things to someone you trust again. It's difficult, and I know that. I don't know your personal situation so maybe it wont be easy, but if you can, talking can help so much. Even as little as saying "I'm not doing so well right now" breaks down the barrier a bit, and it might help you feel a little bit less alone. And as I said, TH is always here if you need someone too. Please feel free to post as much as you need to, and also to PM me if I can help at all.

[Mallika]

Hi there!

I can imagine how stifling it must feel, but it's very good that you have decided to open up here with us on TeenHelp! I think Everglow has already covered some great pointers. I'll share my thoughts on this too.

First and foremost, the fact that you have acknowledged that you feel this way is a big step. Because this means you can now work towards it. You can start this by telling yourself that life is too precious to come by and to be grateful for all the small things in life. Having a gratitude journal whereby you write down 2-4 things you are grateful for each day is a wonderful idea; there's a reason why it has been recommended by lifestyle mentors like Jay Shetty to psychologists. Here's a great link you can check out to get started: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/art...titude_journal

Speaking of Jay Shetty, it would be good to tune into his podcasts - if you have an iPhone, there is an app whereby you can listen to his podcasts for free. It is always nice hearing someone else telling you words of wisdom in a relatable manner.

Why is gratitude so important? It makes our mind focus on the positives and makes us think less of the things that pull us down. It makes us realise that life is worth living. I know this is easier said than done, but with discipline, this will keep suicidal thoughts at bay till they completely disappear. This study done on 814 college students documented such a correlation: https://u.osu.edu/emotionalfitness/2...idal-ideation/

A great way to channelise more positivity into yourself is to dedicate time in the service of others. Volunteer work gives us meaning to life. That is something that will warm you up greatly from inside, so I'd encourage anyone to volunteer at a charity they are passionate about.

All said and done, you know your situation best. If you need a person to talk to or you need to seek professional help, don't be shy. If you go to school or college, a guidance counsellor will be the person to approach. They are generally approachable enough, so share your thoughts with them honestly for best support. If you wish to speak to someone other than a guidance counsellor, you might want to speak to a teacher. Also, like Everglow said, someone who thought wasn't interested might turn out to be a great listening ear. Give them a chance, sit with them and tell them that you have something important to say that concerns your own well-being.

Also, final tips from me: go out in the sun. In recent years, there has been substantial research suggesting how levels of vitamin D (from sunlight) can boost our mood. While there are many biological factors that are in the interplay, there's definitely no harm in giving yourself a boost of vitamin D - see the world with all its colours, go trekking, go to the beach, connect with nature. These will definitely give you some much-deserved peace. And please do exercise - there's a reason why people repeatedly go to the gym, working out makes us feel happy and gives us a strange satisfaction that we want to go through it again and again. In a study by Harvard University, exercise has been suggested to be as effective as drugs in fighting depression: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-...ght-depression

The Mighty is a wonderful online community to be part of for individuals fighting emotional battles and other psychological conditions. I was introduced to it when I was suffering with intrusive thoughts OCD, and it's uplifting to see so many people who are just like you giving support to one-another. You might want to check it out: https://themighty.com

Take care and do update us!

[Palmolive]

Hello!

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling so sad, all the time at the moment. I can only begin to imagine how that must feel for you. For what it's worth, I am glad that you've reached out to us here for some help and support because you certainly do not deserve to be alone in any of this.

For me, when things got that bad and in fact when they still do, suicide becomes an option. Suicide because the way out because its instant completing suicide, would mean that all the emotions I am feeling, have an automatic quick stop. However, there are other ways out. Getting better, is a way out, so is getting help for what you're going through. And although these ways out, take effort, time and motivation, they are the better ways out, because unlike suicide, it doesn't end your life and the chance to be happy which you do deserve.

I am glad that you have someone to talk to about all this, but would like to ask why you both have to hide it whenever you talk about it? Is there anyone else you would feel able to talk and if not, can I ask what it is about talking to someone that worries you or that you don't like? Talking to people can be so beneficial. It helps to talk to someone to get whatever it is of our chest as well as relieving support and advice and building up a relationship. And remember that you can always talk to us here as well. You never have to be alone in anything.

Do you know what it is that triggers you to feeling so sad? Whatever it is, please know here is a safe place to talk about it. I know the way you feel is not nice, but remember that emotions are there for a purpose. Allow yourself to feel them and remember its okay to feel them and that they will pass.

Keep going - you're not alone and this won't last forever.
Jess