Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
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Name: Siera
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere you want to be...NY, USA
Posts: 218
Points: 11,394, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 24th 2009, 04:42 PM
Then how do you think I will hold on if I lose you?
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
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Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 24th 2009, 04:44 PM
You have Cody and TH...I'm just a nobody.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Dolan
I can't get enough
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Name: Cody
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Location: USA
Posts: 2,029
Points: 19,933, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 24th 2009, 05:20 PM
Faith, YOU ARE NOT A NOBODY! You really don't have any idea how much you mean to me, do you? You are, at the very least, as important to me as any of my offline friends. I care about you so much. I just wish you would understand that you are important.
And Siera isn't making this up, she was seriously freaking out in her PMs to me. She was so worried about you. You mean so much to her too.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
****
Name: Siera
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere you want to be...NY, USA
Posts: 218
Points: 11,394, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 24th 2009, 05:21 PM
You have Cody and Darren and me and TH!!!
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Name: Non'ya
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Earth.
Posts: 10
Points: 10,058, Level: 14 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 24th 2009, 05:23 PM
Faith, I'm going to be blunt here.
You were saying how everyone leaves you, correct? How they don't care.
Why would you kill yourself and leave Cody and Siera, who clearly care a lot about you.
It's tough, fighting through these feelings. But look at all sides. Don't add pain to them by killing yourself.
Don't leave them like people have left you.
Hold on, for them.
Because things will get better, it takes time and patience.
The fact of the matter is, these 2 people CARE and LOVE you, regardless of what you tell yourself. Show them you care and love them by fighting this, by holding on for them.
Take care of yourself, you deserve it.
<3
"Before you echo Amen in your home or place of worship, think and remember.
A child is listening."
-Mary Griffith
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 24th 2009, 05:28 PM
I know I shouldn't leave them but...I need to do something for me. It's the only thing I want...and I guess if you want something bad enough nothing can stop you right?
Everyone thinks of me as a nobody around here so why should you think of me any differently?
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Dolan
I can't get enough
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Name: Cody
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Location: USA
Posts: 2,029
Points: 19,933, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 24th 2009, 05:33 PM
Because we know the truth. Faith, why can't you just accept that we love you and that you really are amazing? I've told you time and time again how much happiness you bring to my life, how much I love talking to you, ow important you aqre to me as a friend. Why will you not believe me?
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Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Name: Non'ya
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Earth.
Posts: 10
Points: 10,058, Level: 14 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 24th 2009, 05:34 PM
Who thinks of you as a nobody?
I most certainly don't, and I know Cody and Siera don't.
I understand you want this bad, and there's probably not much I can do to stop you. But I want you to understand if you WANTED this so bad if you had already made up your mind, you wouldn't be here typing.
Part of you wants to get help. Part of you doesn't want to cause anyone pain.
Regardless of whether you perceive it as true or not doesn't matter. Because there is, no matter how small, a part of you that doesn't want to die.
You just want relief from the pain. From that seering, tearing pain in your chest right? The one that makes it hard to breathe, hard to move, hard to live.
It will ease up, the pain will slowly ease. Wounds heal, Faith. Eventually. But you have really bad wounds, ones that require help to heal.
So get help, before the infection spreads.
that was a bad analogy. Sorry.
"Before you echo Amen in your home or place of worship, think and remember.
A child is listening."
-Mary Griffith
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
****
Name: Siera
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere you want to be...NY, USA
Posts: 218
Points: 11,394, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 24th 2009, 05:41 PM
Faith...today I think I have said it about 300 times that I LOVE YOU AND I CARE ABOUT YOU!!! You can believe that, because it is true and you are so important to me...and I love you so much and I care about you so much and I want you to be happy and ALIVE!!!
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
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Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 24th 2009, 05:51 PM
Because it's me! Faith is a fuck up, nothing more. She doesn't allow herself to mean anything to people anymore. Someone said the exact same things you people are but then she walked away and now I can't go a day without cry.
It's not just the pain thats throwing me off the tracks...it's other things that I don't want to discuss and it's because I ain't home alone that I can't go so...
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
****
Name: Siera
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere you want to be...NY, USA
Posts: 218
Points: 11,394, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 24th 2009, 06:14 PM
Then don't walk away again...
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 24th 2009, 06:23 PM
There's nothing to keep me here though. You people are awesome but...I just can't stay.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
****
Name: Siera
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere you want to be...NY, USA
Posts: 218
Points: 11,394, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 24th 2009, 06:57 PM
Why not? Why can't you stay? You are strong and I know it and Cody knows it, and we both care about you!!! I know there are things you can't talk about, and I know there is a reason behind it...but why can't you try to hold on?
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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Dolan
I can't get enough
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Name: Cody
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Location: USA
Posts: 2,029
Points: 19,933, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 24th 2009, 08:05 PM
Faith, Siera is right. You are strong. I know you can make it through this. Don't you want to be happy? To do all of those things you dream about? To help people? You can do all of these things, you just need to stay strong through this rough spot, ok?
Siera, Darren, Non'ya, me. We're all here to support you. Even if you can't do this alone, you CAN do it with our help.
Love you, stay strong
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 03:55 AM
That's the thing though, I don't want to do this. I don't want to be happy in this life, I just want to escape it. No one needs me to stick around and I have no purpose...maybe I do but it's hidden really well. I just can't be arsed trying to find it out.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
****
Name: Siera
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere you want to be...NY, USA
Posts: 218
Points: 11,394, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 09:37 AM
If you want to escape, why haven't you already...maybe because part of you does want to be happy? And you do have purpose, you help people...
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 09:48 AM
Maybe I could've got better, today it's just gone. Today destroyed everything. Today, nothing matters.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Per sempre <3
I've been here a while
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Name: Shaz
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Location: London
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Points: 28,963, Level: 24 |
Join Date: January 5th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 09:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jinxed angel
If you want to escape, why haven't you already...maybe because part of you does want to be happy? And you do have purpose, you help people...
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Siera has a good point here. There is a reason why your still here, Faith. A part of you, it doesn't matter how small, but a part of you isn't ready to give up yet. A part of you still wants you to try and carry on because things can get better, Faith, they really can. Nothing stays the same forever, things do change.
You are strong Faith, because even though things are tough for you lately, your still here fighting and not giving up and that is what matters. We're not giving up on you because people DO care about you, you do mean a lot to people. You are worth it.
EDIT: I only just saw your last post, Faith, what happened today?
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 10:04 AM
I do agree...things do change but most of the time they change for the worse. People die, people walk away and I die a little more each time. Shows how much I'm not worth it. I'm not fighting, I'm sitting and I'm waiting for people round here to get the hell out the house so I get the hell off this planet.
I don't have words to describe what happened today it just...shattered me.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
****
Name: Siera
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere you want to be...NY, USA
Posts: 218
Points: 11,394, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 11:19 AM
I am sorry that you are feeling so bad faith, but why do you have to leave? You can still have happiness...I know you can...
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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Per sempre <3
I've been here a while
********
Name: Shaz
Gender: Female
Location: London
Posts: 1,749
Points: 28,963, Level: 24 |
Join Date: January 5th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 11:36 AM
Faith, I know how it feels. I've been in a similar situation myself before. It feels like what it is like now is going to remain to be dark and miserable forever. It might even be a pattern you've already experienced over a number of months or maybe even years, and that things haven't got better yet so why should they now?
I'm not going to tell you that waking up tomorrow you're going to feel glorious and things should turn out fine if you wish hard enough. Because they won't. It takes time for things to change and you might not see one straight away. And hey, things might get a little bit worse when you realise your at your lowest point, but when you feel as though you've hit rock bottom, where else is there to go but up? Things don't remain the same all the time - things change. This means your feelings, your situations and your emotions will change too.
Please, keep fighting. You can get through this and see that there is life after what you're facing now. It may be hard, but you'll get there, and when you do you will appreciate it so much more. Your a fighter, Faith. A part of you isn't wanting to give in, not yet, because you are strong Faith. Strong enough to keep on going and your not going this alone; you always have us here and we're not giving up on you.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 11:42 AM
No, I haven't hit rock bottom yet, I know it's possible to fall further. If I stay it's only going to be a matter of time until things get worse. Every part of me wants to go, I just get closer to it everyday and I think tonight might be the night because of what happened.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
****
Name: Siera
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere you want to be...NY, USA
Posts: 218
Points: 11,394, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 11:46 AM
Please faith, just keep trying...Keep fighting!!!
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 11:48 AM
There is no point in staying. I'm sorry I may end up hurting you again.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
****
Name: Siera
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere you want to be...NY, USA
Posts: 218
Points: 11,394, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 11:50 AM
I care, Cody cares everyone who has posted on here cares...it's that a reason to stay?
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 11:52 AM
It can't keep me here.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
****
Name: Siera
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere you want to be...NY, USA
Posts: 218
Points: 11,394, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 11:55 AM
I will really miss you...I really wish you would stay...I really do love you and care about you...
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 11:57 AM
You won't miss me or anything along them lines, I'm just a waste of space.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
****
Name: Siera
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere you want to be...NY, USA
Posts: 218
Points: 11,394, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 12:03 PM
I will miss you!!! I will never forget you!!! And you aren't a waste of space...
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 12:04 PM
I'm just...nothing. You just have to realise it.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
****
Name: Siera
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere you want to be...NY, USA
Posts: 218
Points: 11,394, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 12:06 PM
Nope, because you are not nothing!!! You mean a lot to me!!! You mean a lot to Cody, you mean so much to people who post on here!!!
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 12:07 PM
I don't mean anything...I never want to. I just get hurt.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
****
Name: Siera
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere you want to be...NY, USA
Posts: 218
Points: 11,394, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 12:10 PM
Well you do mean something and I'm going to be the one getting hurt if you leave, so don't worry about yourself getting hurt...and cody is going to hurt and all of the people on here who posted because they cared...
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Age: 32
Posts: 48
Join Date: January 25th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 12:10 PM
Listen miss Faith. I dont know you and you dont know me. Your talking about ending your life and how none of us know if death makes things better. And your right, we dont. But it seems to me that your about to hurt at least three people that care alot about you. Death might hold relief for you but what about them? What'll happen to them while there alive? Cause it doesnt sound like they want to die. You decide yourself but you also affect the people who care about you. Dont hurt them. They dont deserve death. And I dont think you do either.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 12:15 PM
You will live if I go, you'll find better people. Everyone is better than Faith, it's a pure known fact. I don't do anything to help people, all I think about is dying. Nothing more. I need my escape.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Age: 32
Posts: 48
Join Date: January 25th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 12:22 PM
Cant you see your hurting the people that care about you!? They dont want to find people that are better than you! They want YOU!! Sorry if it bugs you but its true. They Dont want to see you die. And if you think of dying all the time how could you have made so many friends that care about you?
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 12:27 PM
There is nothing about me that's worth befriending. I don't know why people do!
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Age: 32
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 12:30 PM
Why do fish breathe in water? Why do birds fly? Why does the Earth orbit the sun? Why does it matter why!? They just have! You cant change that by dying! They'll still remember you and the great things about you that you dont think you have!
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 12:33 PM
There is nothing great about me that's the point.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Age: 32
Posts: 48
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 25th 2009, 12:41 PM
Thats a lie! If there was nothing great about you why would so many people be trying to keep you around!? Youve done something to make them love you. Maybe it was just little things, or maybe you listened to them. I dont know! Stop trying to figure things out! Death, dying not of it can make the pain your friends are gonna feel go away! Are you going to tell me that you dont care about them at all!?
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