Hurts Too Much To Breathe - Page 6

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 02:57 PM

I know! I just miss her!! I know it's been months but it still feels like a kick in the teeth! She's gone and she isn't coming back, I'm trying to move past that but I can't. I'm tearing myself to shreads over, I'm leaving so others won't put up with me and I'm worthless excuse for a human!

.KillCasino. · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 02:59 PM

you know the two of us are quite similar, although its hard to believe. really, we are. Im sorry i snapped, im not so good right now, but just please try and listen to people, i know its hard to get over losing someone whether they died or walked out of your life...trust me, i understand...

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 03:10 PM

How'd you get over someone that was like your big sis? She saved me from everything and now I fucked it up.

TheNumber42 · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 03:15 PM

Faith, I know it's hard, really, really hard, but you can do it. You just need to keep hanging on, and the pain will fade. I know it will never fully go away, but you'll learn to live in spite of it, learn to cope better. I know you can do this. We're all here for you. We all care so much.

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 03:27 PM

There's nothing left to stay here for. I've made my decision.

TheNumber42 · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 03:54 PM

But you can still change your mind. How do you know you've made the right decision? Please Faith, I know you're strong enough to do this, I know that you can make it through this. Just don't give up.

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 04:04 PM

I don't want to! That's the point.

TheNumber42 · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 04:09 PM

Why don't you want to? What's wrong?

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 04:17 PM

I can't take this! I'm just on the verge of going and I really can't bring up why. Tonight's the night I guess, I've got nothing left in me.

TheNumber42 · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 04:29 PM

Please Faith, if you're going to go, please just help me understand why. I care about you so much, I've done everything I know to help you, please just help me understand why you feel you need to go so badly.

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 04:31 PM

I can't...there's nothing left. Just let me fade, everyone else has apart from you.

TheNumber42 · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 04:36 PM

No, everyone else hasn't. I don't know if she's ok with me saying this, I really hope she is, but you do know that you're one of the only reasons jinxed angel/Siera is even still around? She was really bad yesterday and she helped you, helping you kept her around, took her mind off of things. You very well may have saved her life.

And I don't care one tiny bit whether the entire population of TH is here or if I'm the only one. I'm never ever giving up on you Faith. You are way too important to me to ever do that. What happened to traveling the world beating up doctors? Being fugitives? Having an MTX track? I know those were basically only daydreams, but you really could have any of that if you just stick around. You are so strong and you can make it through this. Don't give up, I'm never going to, so just hold on, stay with me.

jinxed angel · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 04:40 PM

You know how you are feeling about her? That is how we are going to feel, or atleast I am...You will never fade to me...I know Cody feels the same!!!

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 04:40 PM

Can't, it just seems to mean less and less and more as just a pile of words. I can't stick around because I have no energy and it's just pointless. No one can ever prove to me that they care, ring me or tell me face to face that they really do care. Faith was meant to be alone and forgotten.

TheNumber42 · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 04:47 PM

Faith, I'm not giving up. I don't know what more there is to say, I just can't give up on you though. Please stay. We care so much!

jinxed angel · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 04:52 PM

I won't give up on you!!! You are strong, you lasted through the night...just keep going...we really do care!!!

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 04:54 PM

I'm nothing so you're not giving up on anything! I'm worthless! Waste of space.

jinxed angel · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 05:00 PM

If you are worthless than I am too...I must be a waste of space...I will never give up on you because you mean so much to me...

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 05:01 PM

You are worth a lot to a lot of people! Don't ever think differently.

TheNumber42 · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Faith*

You are worth a lot to a lot of people! Don't ever think differently.

Faith, what you just said is pretty much exactly what I've been saying to you all along. How can you expect her to believe it when you won't?

.KillCasino. · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 05:04 PM

Faith. Listen to these people. Just listen to them.
They haven't posted 220 messages for no reason.
They want to save you. Let them help. Please.
Or i'll be seeing you soon, and trust me, you don't want to let that happen.
Stay strong, love forever and always
x

jinxed angel · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 05:21 PM

as cody said...I can't believe it if you can't...I don't mean anymore to people than you do...you mean more actually...

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 05:30 PM

I can't hold on and I don't want to! You to have each other and many others. I just don't want to be saved.

TheNumber42 · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 05:38 PM

But we want to have you too. We want to save you. You are one of the coolest people I've ever known. I can't take losing you.

jinxed angel · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 05:39 PM

I didn't either, but that didn't stop someone for doing it...please, just let us help...

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 05:43 PM

You can't help.
I've made my decision.

TheNumber42 · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 05:48 PM

Faith, why won't you let us in? Why won't you listen to what we're saying? I've sent you PMs, VMs and made hundreds of posts in this and other threads before. Can you not see that I care? What makes it so hard for you to accept that, to accept me help? Siera may not have been around as long, but she cares about you so much, you really have no idea. Why won't you just let us in and let us help you?

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 05:51 PM

Because even if you did care it would be thrown back in my face, might not be straight away but it'll happen.

silentmuffin · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Faith*

Because even if you did care it would be thrown back in my face, might not be straight away but it'll happen.

The only person who can throw sincere caring in your face is yourself. If you want people to care then you have to be willing to let them. Sure, if you never let anyone help then no one can ever let you down, but zero out of zero is still nothing.

jinxed angel · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 05:57 PM

I will not!!! I will be here for you!!! I really do care!!! Cody does too!!! Please, just let us help you!!! Desicions can be changed, you don't have to do it...Please don't!!!

TheNumber42 · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 06:01 PM

Lyndsay is right. All you're doing by refusing to accept that we care is taking away from yourself. We want to help you swo badly, just let us in, let us help you!

Darrenboy! · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 21st 2009, 11:26 PM

please faith... you know you got us..

always remember there's so much in store for you.

i've said that many times and i'll say it again..

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 22nd 2009, 05:09 AM

I'm fucked up more than ever and I'm still here, teared up and extremely nauseous.

Darrenboy! · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 22nd 2009, 05:22 AM

i think you just need some rest..

you should rest up faith.. start working towards something new tomorrow

i believe you can do it.

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 22nd 2009, 05:28 AM

I am exhausted but I have to go back to school in about 5min which may be the death of me

Darrenboy! · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 22nd 2009, 06:06 AM

school wont be that bad

you just have to try new stuff and all.

trust me its all gonna work out for the better!

TheNumber42 · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 22nd 2009, 09:45 AM

Faith, everything is going to be alright. Just believe in that and keep fighting. You can get better, you won't always feel this way.

We're all here for you.

*Faith* · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 22nd 2009, 09:49 AM

I don't want to get better, I just want to sleep and never wake.

Darrenboy! · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 22nd 2009, 10:17 AM

but everything will get better

and everything WILL get much more fulfilling. thats a promise..

TheNumber42 · **Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -** January 22nd 2009, 11:32 AM

You really don't want to get better? Faith, when you talk to me, you mention the future all the time. You can't tell me you've given up on it. And you shouldn't! You have a long, happy life ahead of you.