Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
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Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
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Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 15th 2009, 07:55 PM
This is the kind of pain that I can't 'let go' of. I don't want to explain how because it's bringing me to tears just thinking about it. There's just some things that stay and haunt you forever y'know?
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Dolan
I can't get enough
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Name: Cody
Age: 32
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Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 15th 2009, 08:06 PM
You don't have to 'let go' of the pain, just learn to cope with it and live in spite of it, you know? I realize that just 'letting go' is impossible, but you can learn to be happy even with it, and eventualy it will fade.
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★ Listen Up, Destiny
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 15th 2009, 08:06 PM
I believe in you.
I know what it feels like to be that low, but I BELIEVE IN YOU.
Please keep fighting, there is hope, there is always hope!
Give me one reasons you're "fucked up". One reason.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
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Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 03:36 AM
I can't cope with the pain when it's the thing that's eating away at me. There's no way to stop it from doing that. It's just so much more easier to leave. People won't follow and they can do a hell of a better job of living with the pain.
Why'd you believe in me? I can't keep a friendship...think it kind of counts as one.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Dolan
I can't get enough
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Name: Cody
Age: 32
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Location: USA
Posts: 2,029
Points: 19,933, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 11:47 AM
Faith, you can't cope ALONE. That is why I think it is so important that you insist to your doctor that you get help. A professional knows how to deal with this and COULD teach you to cope in a healthy way.
As I said before, friendships are a two-way thing. If you can't keep them it is in no way all your fault. And it is also probably because of the depression, which is why you need therapy to help you get through this!
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 11:52 AM
I know friendships are a two way thing but it's me that can't hold up my end of the deal with the friendship because my suicidal thoughts just take over. It's amazing you haven't walked away yet.
There isn't anyway of getting hold of anyone around here, I'm tired of trying. I'm better off without, I know how to cope with things.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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my long tongue is long.
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 12:31 PM
friendships are a two way thing, and hence... 
we're gonna uphold our part.. cause we care for you deeply. we have faith IN FAITH!! 
everything is gonna get better.
Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.
we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!
Official member of the completely Unofficial free hugs Club !
I'm firing mah Hugs! 
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 12:40 PM
I can't hold up my end of the deal with friendships. It's why I can't keep or have any friendships. People walk away because they can't take it so it's just apart of time untill people onto TH start realising the same thing.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Dolan
I can't get enough
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Name: Cody
Age: 32
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Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 03:06 PM
As long as you're here, I'll be here (and you had better not leave me :P). I care about you, of course I don't like that you're depressed and suicidal, but not because it is an inconvenience to me or anything like that. Because I care about you and it hurts to see you in so much pain. But I'm not going to ever leave you because of that, I'm going to stay and help you get through this. Like Darren said, we're going to hold up our end of the deal.
I believe in you, I know that you can make it through this. I'm here for you. I'm not going to leave, ok? Just accept that I'm your friend and you're stuck with me
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 03:19 PM
I can't keep my end of the deal because I'm constantly slipping away. There's just no point in hanging on for people. You will end up walking away from me and I don't have the strength to deal with it. Faith is slipping between the cracks and she really doesn't care anymore.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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my long tongue is long.
Senior TeenHelper
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Age: 46
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Join Date: January 5th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 03:24 PM
we wont do so.. because we realize how much we can help.. and hence, we realize what we can do.
trust us, faith! we care, deeply.
Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.
we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!
Official member of the completely Unofficial free hugs Club !
I'm firing mah Hugs!
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RAWR (I love you)
Not a n00b
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Name: Emily
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Join Date: January 15th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 03:37 PM
There is a reason to fight, you just have to look around, look at your family and your friends, they care about you and would be so sad if yu decided to not hold on any longer, people care about you. I bet if I hooked everyone you know up to a lie detector it would be the truth when they said that they cared about you, I'll do it to if I ever have the chance!
You just have to hold on, your in a low state right now, but the good thing about being in the lowest part of your life, there's always an upside, you just have to hold on long enought to find it. Have faith, Faith (sorry I had to do it)
PM me if you ever need to talk, I have really corny jokes that will make you laugh at how stupid they are
Last time I cut: October 14th 2009
"Where can I turn? Cause I need something more, surrounded my uncertainty, I'm so unsure. Tell me why I feel so alone!" Conspiracy - Paramore
Twilight Addict & Proud!
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 03:51 PM
I can't trust, it's too much to ask. The fact people care just keeps slipping further and further from me. Feels like I'm cutting my strings from them so I don't think that lie detector test will work since they'd be no one there. I'm quite the pessimist and kind of struggle to change my ways so, just feels like there isn't an upside to me.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Dolan
I can't get enough
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Name: Cody
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Location: USA
Posts: 2,029
Points: 19,933, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 03:57 PM
Well, I'm your friend and I'm not walking away. I don't care how hard you try to push me away or cut the strings, I'm going to stay around.
Yes, you definitely struggle to change your ways... but it can be done! You just need to try believing us. Everyone here is telling you that you're a good person and that they believe in you. Why can't you do the same?
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 04:05 PM
You can't promise you'll stay around, forever and always doesn't exist it's a lie.
Why do I need to start believing you all? I don't see anything in myself that's even half decent. Feels like I'd have to believe a lie.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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RAWR (I love you)
Not a n00b
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Name: Emily
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 83
Points: 11,227, Level: 15 |
Join Date: January 15th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 04:16 PM
You wouldn't have to believe a lie because you would be believing the truth. You are an amazing person and deserve all the happieness in the world! You can always trust me and everyone else on here, I know it might take a while for you to feel that way but when you do feel that you can trust everyone here then anybody would be happy to help you!
Last time I cut: October 14th 2009
"Where can I turn? Cause I need something more, surrounded my uncertainty, I'm so unsure. Tell me why I feel so alone!" Conspiracy - Paramore
Twilight Addict & Proud!
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 04:22 PM
There is no truth in it though, I'm a failure for a person so I don't deserve any happiness in the world.
Where is this amazing person you see within me? It's just so hard to trust and its just not worth it.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Dolan
I can't get enough
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Name: Cody
Age: 32
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Location: USA
Posts: 2,029
Points: 19,933, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 04:55 PM
Where is this failure you see? The only mistake you've been able to give us was your friendship, which wasn't by any means all your fault. I don't see anything else...
Well, coming from some it may be a e, but not from me. I really, truly mean it.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 05:00 PM
The failure is that I can't keep a friendship and that maybe it's best that everyone stays away from me because I don't take advantage of what I've been given. I had friends but I lost them because I'm incapable of doing this whole two way friendship thing. I can never hold my side of the deal. Maybe I don't want to, maybe it's because I want nothing to do with people and leaving would be an escape. The further rock bottom feeling has kicked in and I'm really ready to leave.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Dolan
I can't get enough
*********
Name: Cody
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Location: USA
Posts: 2,029
Points: 19,933, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 05:37 PM
Faith, a big part of the reason you can't keep friendships is probably because of your depression. Depression can really screw with you, but when you aren't entirely under it's sway, you're a really cool, fun person. If you can get rid of the depression, and you can, I promise, you can fix alot of the problems you see with your life.
Just stay strong, don't do anything stupid, you'll get through this.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 06:06 PM
I know it's my depression but there's some that stuck around despite me being depressed till I forced them to leave. I guess I don't want people around me still. Meh, for all I know depression could be the cure because I'm seeing things the way they are. I don't know, too many people = too many lies = too many thoughts. I'm just going out of my mind.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 06:51 PM
You are strong. You are still here, that proves it more than anything else does. The reason to fight is simple, you are fighting and showing those people who hurt you that you are better than them, because you are. And don't think that you killing yourself won't hurt people! It hurts so much to loose someone to suicide. The pain doesn't go away for a long time. Look at everyone who is posting and trying to help you...they all want you to stay here and live. They all care about you. Don't give into lie that giving up is the best way out, it isn't. It really isn't the best way out. Please just stay here...talk to these people who care about you. Please...
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 07:01 PM
The only reason I'm here is because I've been dragged by people but now these people have left Faith all alone.
Why can't I have what I want? Just to escape this world and never feel like the way I do?
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
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Name: Siera
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Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 07:10 PM
You're not alone, every in this post is here, and I'm not leaving...
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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Dolan
I can't get enough
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Name: Cody
Age: 32
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Points: 19,933, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 16th 2009, 07:55 PM
I haven't left you and I never plan to. I'm your friend, and I'm going to be here for you. You just need to stay strong and keep fighting on. If you need someone to drag you forward occasionally, that's fine, I'll always do my best for you. I REALLY CARE. I don't think making it bigger will get you to believe me, but I'm going to keep trying, you need to realize that you ARE important and people DO care about you.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 17th 2009, 05:24 AM
I'm not important, I've explained that to you loads of times before. I'm at the bottom of the barrel, the one that always gets stepped on. That's why no one gives two about me, I don't mind that it's one of my reasons to let go and I'm fine with it.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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my long tongue is long.
Senior TeenHelper
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 17th 2009, 12:26 PM
there's no way you're at the bottom of the barrel. this is because we care... we care deeply.
i believe everything will eventually get better, and that there is a reason i believe in that. the reason is... it WILL that much is assured . have faith!
Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.
we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!
Official member of the completely Unofficial free hugs Club !
I'm firing mah Hugs!
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 17th 2009, 03:02 PM
Meh, I have a whole lot of faith in people just not in myself. Kinda how I got my name. It doesn't bother me that I'm at the bottom of the barrel. Since I'm there, I can just fade away.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
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Name: Siera
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Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 17th 2009, 05:04 PM
Your not at the bottom, you have people that care about you!!! All of these people care about you...if we didn't, we wouldn't be trying to stop you!!! Seriously, we care about you. I want you to stay here...I WANT YOU TO STAY HERE!!! Things get better, they do...they will...
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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★ Listen Up, Destiny
Junior TeenHelper
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Name: Caroline
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Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 17th 2009, 06:41 PM
Everyone who posted here cares SO MUCH. You are not alone, we're right here.
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Dolan
I can't get enough
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Name: Cody
Age: 32
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Location: USA
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Points: 19,933, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 18th 2009, 01:56 AM
Faith, everyone cares about you. Look at how many posts and visitor messages and PMs you've gotten from all of these different people. We all care so much. Why do this if we didn't?
And if you go, it won't be 'fading away'. You will be ripping out a huge part of me and taking it with you, as well doing the same for everyone that has helped you. That isn't just fading away. That is leaving wounds that will NEVER fully fade.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 18th 2009, 05:09 AM
I can't trust you though, I mean you say these things but how do I know you're not lying like everyone else? I can't keep being hurt, it just brings me to tears every night!
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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my long tongue is long.
Senior TeenHelper
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Age: 46
Location: MARS! :D
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Join Date: January 5th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 18th 2009, 11:46 AM
then try thinking of more positive things.. you can do it, faith!
Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.
we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!
Official member of the completely Unofficial free hugs Club !
I'm firing mah Hugs!
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Dolan
I can't get enough
*********
Name: Cody
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Location: USA
Posts: 2,029
Points: 19,933, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 18th 2009, 12:10 PM
Faith, I swear to you I'm not lying. You mean so much to me, I would never ever lie to you. I know you won't believe me, but it's the truth.
And can you just try to do as Darrent said and be more positive? I know it's not easy, but can you just try and do your best at it? I know you can do it if you try. I really believe in you
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 18th 2009, 12:16 PM
No, I got hurt again yesterday. I guess I brung it on myself but I just don't want to trust and I don't want to care about. Faith wants to fade away, she can't breathe it hurts her so much. There's just nothing to fight for.
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
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Name: Siera
Age: 30
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Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 18th 2009, 12:41 PM
I'm not lying, Faith, I care!!! I CARE!!! You can't fade...if you leave, it will hurt so much!!! That won't ever fade...you won't ever fade...You can keep going, I know that you are strong enough, because if you weren't, you wouldn't have posted this, and you would already be gone...Everyone here cares about you and if you leave it will hurt them, it will hurt them so much...things get better...they will...
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 18th 2009, 12:54 PM
You barely know anything about me! How can you care about someone you know barely anything about? People don't care because I push them away, just sometimes it doesn't work that well. I just keep getting hurt and it just hurts to stand on my own two feet anymore. Just let me fade 
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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Dolan
I can't get enough
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Name: Cody
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Location: USA
Posts: 2,029
Points: 19,933, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 18th 2009, 12:58 PM
Faith, I know enough about you to care and love you. No one else can tell me I haven't known you long enough or well enough to feel like I do. They are MY feelings.
You will never fade because no matter what you do, a piece of me will always be linked to you. If you die, that piece will be ripped from me. And I know the scars will never fade from that.
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Helplessy Hopeless
Junior TeenHelper
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Name: Siera
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Join Date: January 7th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 18th 2009, 12:59 PM
I care because you are a good person, I know this!!! You can try all you want to push these people on here away but they aren't going anywhere...you are never going to fade!!! You have to know that...if you leave, I will hurt, all of these people trying to help you will hurt...
Pleasea don't leave,
You deserve to stay here,
Please don't cry,
You will find happiness in life,
I know that it seems like nothing is alright,
But as times goes on it will start to fit together,
Everything can turn out just fine,
The hurt now will leave you in time,
Your broken wings will one day fly,
You just have to believe this,
You are going to have to hold on,
Just a little longer,
You are stronger than you think,
You mean more than you know,
All these people who care,
Want to stop you now,
They don't want you to leave,
They want to help,
You were calling out,
And they came to listen,
They came to help,
You can depend on them,
Their not going anywhere,
They will stand by you now,
They will forever,
I know it's a lot to say,
I know it's a lot to believe,
But you just have to trust me on this,
Your borken wings will fly,
You just have to give them time,
I hope that means something to you...
I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.
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They'll never know.
I've been here a while
********
Name: Faith
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: England
Posts: 1,639
Points: 20,540, Level: 20 |
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Hurts Too Much To Breathe -
January 18th 2009, 01:26 PM
You know barely anything though so how does that work?! Faith is invisible, she gets pushed around because no one sees her. When that one in a million person sees her and takes care of her, she manages to wreck it and goes back to square one. In the end that's what she wants....someone that won't follow her if she slips, or feels nothing but happiness and rejoice when she fades.
Siera, it did mean a hell of a lot to me when I read it, thank you loads...it brought a small TINY smile to my face  .
You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
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