Triggering: College and Depression

[Tigereyes]

I've noticed that since I went to college, my depression and all the issues that go along with it skyrocketed. I was unable to make friends, lost all my friends including my best friend, lived in isolation because I had no roommate, and struggled with classes. Somehow I've gotten through until now (junior year), but every day is still a struggle. I still haven't made any friends; I've just become closer friends with people from my high school who ended up at the same college. I still struggle in "that one class" every semester, which ruins my gpa and causes so much stress that I feel like I'm just surviving day by day a lot of the time. I generally enjoy the classes in my majors, but with biology being one of the majors, I'm also required to take a lot of chemistry and physics, which is what always throws me over the edge. I try to practice guitar and do yoga, which both help a lot, but sometimes it's hard to get myself to do those when I'm completely out of energy from doing just the things I have to do to get by. Can anyone else relate?

[ThisWillDestroyYou]

Originally Posted by Tigereyes

I've noticed that since I went to college, my depression and all the issues that go along with it skyrocketed. I was unable to make friends, lost all my friends including my best friend, lived in isolation because I had no roommate, and struggled with classes. Somehow I've gotten through until now (junior year), but every day is still a struggle. I still haven't made any friends; I've just become closer friends with people from my high school who ended up at the same college. I still struggle in "that one class" every semester, which ruins my gpa and causes so much stress that I feel like I'm just surviving day by day a lot of the time. I generally enjoy the classes in my majors, but with biology being one of the majors, I'm also required to take a lot of chemistry and physics, which is what always throws me over the edge. I try to practice guitar and do yoga, which both help a lot, but sometimes it's hard to get myself to do those when I'm completely out of energy from doing just the things I have to do to get by. Can anyone else relate?

God do I relate. 100%. In fact, this weekend I decided that whatever the cost I was going to take 2 days off (Yesterday and Today). It's a mistake, really, but I needed it (I really couldn't afford to take them, but my mental sanity required it).

Anyways, I think the point is, hang in there. Eventually you'll be out of the program, and you won't have to deal with it anymore. Physics is one of those topics that difficult for a lot of people. If I were you, I'd focus on the classes that are pertinent for you to be good at whatever your goal is, and not be consumed with the classes that aren't.

Being a science major, I understand the importance of GPA, but for myself, I'm trying to focus on the fact that I need to learn certain material to be proficient in my field. If I can demonstrate that proficiency, than beyond landing my first job, GPA isn't going to make any difference. So, for me, I focus on just learning the material for myself, and the rest follows.

Hopefully that makes sense. Get through your classes, but learn what you need to learn for your own personal enrichment. I find focusing on GPA, etc. makes college a lot less enjoyable, and takes the focus of learning and on grades. You should be concerned whether you've learned material. Not what letter grade you get. Again, I know it's important. But perhaps taking some emphasis off of it will ease your stress/anxiety/depression. It does help me, when I remember to do so. :P

[Hiraeth]

Honestly what you're saying is very very common. Being a full time student is rough. Especially in a certain country where the cost of education is an arm and a leg. Almost everyone has a hard time with it sooner or later. Your mental, physical, social, financial resources are all put to the test year after year. But yeah, you're more than halfway through it. And I can confirm that it is gentler on the other side. Although I can't confirm about going to graduate school if that is what you end up doing. :P

[Tigereyes]

Thanks for the responses. It helps to know I'm not alone, which is pretty much how I feel on a daily basis because I'm unable to make friends at college and lost all my friends from before except the two who ended up at the same college. It's just that there's always that one class that fucks up everything every damn semester. Bio requires four chemistry courses and two physics course and I struggle with all of that except physics 1. I have to put everything into whichever of those classes I have that semester just to barely pass (and most of those are pre-reqs) and I just bs all my other classes and somehow manage A's and B's in all of those. I don't know what I'm doing, and I feel like the biggest failure. I know I'm not learning anything, but I don't even care anymore. I'm just hoping to survive and get the hell out of college with my degree. And yes, if I do anything with bio, I'll probably need grad school, which will probably be worse, but I'm definitely taking time off before that to work before grad school, if I do that.