Triggering (SH): is this depression?

[Harmonies]

Hi, i am a new member here. Right now:
1. I cannot cry at all, no matter how hard i try
2. My chest sometimes hurts when i am thinking of sad things
3. I have been self harming for almost a year now
4. I often oversleep
5. I am not able to be happy as i used to
6. I feel worthless and think that everyone would be better without me

Thats the symptoms i have for almost a month. Do you think it's dangerous? And is it a depression? Thanks

[Green Yoshi]

Welcomeeeeee!

I think that it's dangerous that your chest is hurting, and you might want to consult a doctor regarding that. I hope that you'll be able to express yourself fully and tell the person about your experiences, because these people are there to help you, and it's better for you to rant out to someone as soon as possible. I can also tell that what you're going through is a feeling called nothingness, because you've somewhat become numb and that's not good. There's plenty of reasons for this and most of all certainly stems from some sort of past experience and perhaps some nasty encounters with some unreasonable people. But you can beat this, because the very same way experiences hurt us, they can heal us .

You just have to get yourself involved in plenty of positive things where you'll get to mix around, and generally have a good time... slowly but surely, the positiveness that other people exude will eventually affect you and slowly influence you to be happy and positive. Learning by example certainly applies in this case, for if other people can be happy or joyful, you can be happy the same way.. and there's nothing stopping you. Also, whenever you're feeling bad or thinking negative thoughts, the best thing to do is to treat yourself to something you love (except self-harm) . There's no remedy like some good relaxing times, or some movies with people you care about and cherish. Most of all, don't feel bad for treating yourself- All of us do it when we're going through bad times in one way or another.

You'll always have me, and I want to remind you that you deserve better than to feel like this. Rant to me anytime I ain't going anywhere, and I'll always be around to help!

[Harmonies]

Originally Posted by Green Yoshi

Welcomeeeeee!

I think that it's dangerous that your chest is hurting, and you might want to consult a doctor regarding that. I hope that you'll be able to express yourself fully and tell the person about your experiences, because these people are there to help you, and it's better for you to rant out to someone as soon as possible. I can also tell that what you're going through is a feeling called nothingness, because you've somewhat become numb and that's not good. There's plenty of reasons for this and most of all certainly stems from some sort of past experience and perhaps some nasty encounters with some unreasonable people. But you can beat this, because the very same way experiences hurt us, they can heal us .

You just have to get yourself involved in plenty of positive things where you'll get to mix around, and generally have a good time... slowly but surely, the positiveness that other people exude will eventually affect you and slowly influence you to be happy and positive. Learning by example certainly applies in this case, for if other people can be happy or joyful, you can be happy the same way.. and there's nothing stopping you. Also, whenever you're feeling bad or thinking negative thoughts, the best thing to do is to treat yourself to something you love (except self-harm) . There's no remedy like some good relaxing times, or some movies with people you care about and cherish. Most of all, don't feel bad for treating yourself- All of us do it when we're going through bad times in one way or another.

You'll always have me, and I want to remind you that you deserve better than to feel like this. Rant to me anytime I ain't going anywhere, and I'll always be around to help!

Thank you very much for your advices. They sound reaaaally hard to do, but i will try my best to deal with this emptiness and feelings. I relapsed again today after being 2 days clean and made 30 cuts (much more than ever, i usually only make 5-10 deep cuts) but i still feel the desire of going back to my old, happy self. I don't feel that sad anymore now, but still it's like i'm trapped and cannot express myself freely.

[Green Yoshi]

Stay safe and try to not cut again and remember that there's other alternatives for you. You could instead maybe try to punch pillows, or read a calming, happy book to take your mind off whatever stuff that's causing you to feel down.You also should relax, and just enjoy being yourself... and slowly do things that expose you to a lot of feelings. These will help you regain your feelings back, for positive activities will help you feel happy( I know that it'll take a long time once you feel numb, but feelings can be regained and there's nothing wrong with treating yourself to some happy times. We all do it just for heck's sake plenty of times, and if it helps you, then it's a good thing. )

What you need to do is realize that you can make yourself happy in your own way, and it doesn't have to be how you were in the past. You can be happy because of how things are now, and you can make it happen.

You can also beat your SH.... as long as you believe in yourself, you'll be able to overcome everything that you're facing. Just don't think too much. Rather than thinking about how the situation is causing you trouble.... think about how you can overcome it, and how you can treat yourself/rejoice after that. The sun always shines brightest after the rain.

[Palmolive]

Im not going to tel you whether or not you have depression or any other mental illness because I'm not medically trained to tell you so but to me it does sound like there could be a bit of depression going on here.

When it comes to the self harm are you using distractions? Things like walking, reading, writing, running, goi g it the gym, colouring, watching a good film or tv, petting pets, spending time with others, art work, playing games, going out with friends etc could all be helpful distractions and we do actually have a list of alternatives to self harm in the self harm forum too. Do you ever try doing any of these? If not maybe now is a good time to start. Have you also ever heard of the butterfly project or the paper chain project? Maybe look them up because I know a lot of people who have found them too helpful as well. Including myself.

In regards to your chest hurting do you think this could be caused by emotional pain or even anxiety? When it hurts try to take some deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to ground yourself and calm yourself a little and see if this helps. My only other concern is that this could be something physical such as asthma so if this doesn't help I suggest you see your doctor for this too.

I know this is hard for you right now but your so strong and worth so much more than you think you are. Life can get better and so can you. If you feel you need extra support right now then it might be worth talking to family and your doctor to look into other things like counselling or anxiety management. Just a thought. But for now, hang on in there and remember we're always here to help you no matter what and we'll never judge you. Okay? You can do this so keep fighting.

Hope and wishes,
Jessie

[Harmonies]

Originally Posted by Ailurophile

Im not going to tel you whether or not you have depression or any other mental illness because I'm not medically trained to tell you so but to me it does sound like there could be a bit of depression going on here.

When it comes to the self harm are you using distractions? Things like walking, reading, writing, running, goi g it the gym, colouring, watching a good film or tv, petting pets, spending time with others, art work, playing games, going out with friends etc could all be helpful distractions and we do actually have a list of alternatives to self harm in the self harm forum too. Do you ever try doing any of these? If not maybe now is a good time to start. Have you also ever heard of the butterfly project or the paper chain project? Maybe look them up because I know a lot of people who have found them too helpful as well. Including myself.

In regards to your chest hurting do you think this could be caused by emotional pain or even anxiety? When it hurts try to take some deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to ground yourself and calm yourself a little and see if this helps. My only other concern is that this could be something physical such as asthma so if this doesn't help I suggest you see your doctor for this too.

I know this is hard for you right now but your so strong and worth so much more than you think you are. Life can get better and so can you. If you feel you need extra support right now then it might be worth talking to family and your doctor to look into other things like counselling or anxiety management. Just a thought. But for now, hang on in there and remember we're always here to help you no matter what and we'll never judge you. Okay? You can do this so keep fighting.

Hope and wishes,
Jess

Thank you very much for your advice, especially the encouraging words in the last paragraph. Thank you for making me feel more loved.

I tried to do those distractions, and sometimes it works, which is probably a good thing, but sometimes the urge to self harm is just to big that i cannot even think about anything else that will relieve the stress. Anytime i feel stressed, the first thing that comes to my mind is self harm.

Probably my chest hurts more because of the emotional pain. I do have some respiration problems, but i dont think its a problem anymore because it has been treated well by the doctor.

In conclusion, thank you very much for everything youve said before, bcs it means so much

[Green Yoshi]

It might be okay, but I think that it' s better for you to still be checked by the doctor because the pain could be caused by other sources. Best to make sure. Also, you can be sure that the best way to counter self-harm urges and stress is fun times. The more you get to relax and enjoy doing things you love to do, the less stressed you'll be, and the happier you'll become.

Most of all, if you apply your self-restraint and tell yourself truths like " I'll be able to beat this " anytime these harming urges resurface, you'll definitely be able to win!