New member, chronic depression, lonely
 

Hello, I've decided to be completely honest about this which I never have been, even online. I've had chronic depression for 4 years now, and I haven't had a friend for that amount of time as well. I dropped out of school, primarily because of the depression, but I've always disliked the public education system anyways.
So, I've isolated myself from society, and have kept all of these feelings and thoughts internally. Obviously not a good thing. I'm not suicidal, but I am basically in bed throughout the entire day, not able to motivate myself to do anything productive, you know the story. Exhausted, lonely, afraid, guilty, hopeless, ashamed, etc.
I apologize for coming across as a robot, I wrote this up in the middle of the night, and this week has been incredibly dreadful, after ignoring my problems for months, distracting myself through video games, T.V, the Internet, it's all come back to me in full swing, and I haven't felt this bad in a very long time.
Recently I've opened up to my mom about my depression, she doesn't understand completely of course, but she offers support, and has been very patient with me. I'm seeing my doctor next month and will bring it up.
In the meantime, I'd really appreciate having someone to talk to. I just miss having somebody my age to joke around with, talk to, share stories with, etc. I know there are a lot of people here who say they are willing to talk, but I always feel like I'd only be a burden to them, or I'm not as interesting as they are.
I appreciate any advice.

Re: New member, chronic depression, lonely
 

Hey there,

I really doubt you're going to burden people. Obviously, we all have to balance ourselves with what we do for others (sometimes I have things to do or don't have the capacity to help someone at the time), but that doesn't mean you're being a burden.

I want you to know, no matter how alone you feel in this, you're not. There are so many people who go through mental health issues -- some are small, some are bigger, and of course it's all relative. I hope you don't feel ashamed or embarrassed by this. It's okay. Just do whatever you can to help yourself through this and get the support you need :hug:

Re: New member, chronic depression, lonely
 

Hello Sendy. :hug:

I think that what you should do is to slowly, get into more groups and maybe restart school again and talk with more people. There's no reason to control your thoughts and not rant it out. It's the collection of internal worries and pressure piled over time that slowly but surely turns into depression. It's like a weight on your shoulders and I can see that weight over you. :hug: But what I do know is that your situation is beatable, and you can rekindle your motivation. All you've to do is to believe in yourself, talk to some new people, make new friends and don't doubt yourself.

:hug: I think that you're determined on the inside... let your determination show. The fact that you're reaching out to us is a good thing because you want us to help and this will allow us to help you out even more. :hug:

Also, I think that there's some sort of event or some sort of occurrence that has sort of damaged your impression of yourself and led you to lose your self-confidence. But what I do know is that you deserve better than to feel this way, and whatever happens in the past stays in the past. You've got a bright future ahead of you, and it's what you make of it. :hug:

Fight your negative feelings , and remember that you're better than what those voices in your head tell you.. you're better than what they say you are. :hug: There is every reason to enjoy what the world has to offer, and there's no better way to do it than to start smiling again and start believing in yourself. Also, there might be people who don't treat you well when you talk to them, but the people who will love you and be your friends are worth it. :hug:

You will never be a burden to us... You'll never be a burden to me. We want to take care of you, and put that smile back on your face where it belongs. The people you'll meet in the future will also likely have the same thing in mind. Feel free to join sports, cooking groups, bands and activities where you'll socialize.. bosom friends will be made.. and you'll definitely remember what it feels like to be enthusiastic and be motivated. It might take some time.. But this is one fight

that you'll definitely win.

Rant to me anytime :hug: I'll be here for you , always! :hug:

Re: New member, chronic depression, lonely
 

Hey, I'm new as well (only joined yesterday) and also suffer from chronic depression as well as anxiety. If you ever need to talk, then I am here, because I also need someone too during this tough time. MAybe we can support each other???

It's good that you're opening up to people, and it's the first step towards help.

Abby xxx

Re: New member, chronic depression, lonely
 

I appreciate all of the kind words. It's not often I hear words of encouragement. I've found that reading this and other posts has helped distract me from a lot of these negative thoughts and behaviors, which I suppose is a start. I'm beginning to feel like posting here, just getting my thoughts out of my head, has been a good step forward, even if it's a small one. It may sound silly, but the idea of making friends, even if they're online friends, gives me some hope, which I haven't had in a very long time. A million thanks. :)

Re: New member, chronic depression, lonely
 

:hug: You're so welcome.. and remember that you'll be able to beat this situation. :hug: I got your back! :hug:

Glad i'm helping! :hug: You'll be able to meet lots of nice people! :hug: And they'll have your back too. Ignore the people who hate .. there's better people around! :hug: