It's like depression, but also different. I eat and sleep like i have ever been. But i feel horrible and can't function or do anything i used to enjoy

[Itah]

What could that be? I feel worthless, hopeless. I hate myself. I didn't enjoy anything i used to enjoy, i could still do them. They were a good distraction from the unpleasant thoughts. I slept too much, i have been an oversleeper since i was a child and it didn't change. I don't like eating. I eat too little. Just like i've ever been.

Since few days ago. Something snapped. I can't even think of holding my pen to draw. It hurts alot. I don't know how i feel about it. I want to do it. I wish i could. But i can't bring myself to do it. The same goes with reading and every other thing i enjoyed doing in the past. I still don't like eating in general, but it seems like i am even more not interested in some way. I still sleep alot. But i started having weird dreams. I sometimes wake up several times during the night and roll on the bed for 15-30 minutes until i go back to sleep.
I don't feel sad, just hate myself and feel worthless. It feels horrible when i wake up in the morning, but i can laugh normally during the day. I even laugh too much that peopel think it's kinda weird. So i don't think it's depression. What could it be.??

[Celyn]

Hey there,

No-one here is a professional, so we can't diagnose you, but the symptoms you have described (feeling worthless, sleep difficulties and not enjoying things) does actually sound like depression. You can see a list of depression symptoms here.

However, there are different types of depression, and wider mood disorders. Also, depression doesn't always need a cause. Sometimes it just happens, perhaps a chemical imbalance. Have you talked to anyone about how you have been feeling? You shouldn't have to suffer in silence and you definitely do deserve to get help and start living your life!

It does sound like there may be an underlying cause, if you used to enjoy things as a distraction from unpleasant thoughts. Though distractions are definitely a good idea, sometimes it can help to talk about these thoughts to a professional to get to the root of the issue, so that you wont have to keep distracting yourself all the time.

I also think that the mixture of over/disrupted sleeping (even if it's been going since you were a child) and not eating enough may contribute to you feeling worse. Try to go to bed at a good time, so that you can get about 8 hours of sleep a night. If you can't sleep, get up and do something boring like read or write in a diary, and then go back to bed. Try to get up at a good time too, even if you have to force yourself to get up 5 minutes earlier every day. As for eating, it can be hard when you aren't interested, but it's still important. If you don't feel up to eating 3 regular meals a day, try eating 6 smaller meals throughout the day.

It's actually quite common with depression to feel worse in the mornings, and quite a lot of people manage to function daily and put on a smile, even if they don't feel like it. But it doesn't mean you should be stuck living like this. You deserve so much more and I really hope that you open up to someone, doctor, teacher, counsellor, parent- anyone you trust.

Take care

[Philomath]

Hi,

I am with Holly on this. As someone that has depression, your symptoms sound like some of what I experience. Depression is not a disorder with any concrete symptoms. Meaning that there are symptoms however those symptoms are different for each individual and the severity of the symptoms is a factor too.
If you can, try talking to your doctor and asking for a list of local counselors/therapists. They can recommend people in your area that take your insurance and would be able to see you for low-cost or free therapy depending on your income.
In the mean time, try staying around other people, focusing on things that are positive (comedies, art projects, volunteering Etc) to help eliviate what you are going through.
You can and will get through this. You are not alone.
Take care and we are all here for you!