Triggering: I really wish I can help my friend with her depression...

[IH8U2]

But she doesn't want to take the initiatives to help herself. She sets up so many obstacles and she already has a ton of problems from her family to her school and her attitude on life. I can't just let her destroy herself like this. I can't simply only lend her an ear. I need to do more. I try so hard to convince her that she is incredible and deserves help. It gets to the point of nagging. What else can I do?

[Green Yoshi]

I think that you need to do special things for her. That includes messages like "you're awesome " and the like.

When it comes to cheering up someone who has went through a lot, the most important thing to do is to surprise them.. and to convince them of all the good things they have done. Ask her to forget about her problems and remember that she can enjoy life by staying safe. If people say bad things about her, then she should ignore them. People who aren't in her position don't get to say anything if they can't empathize and put themselves in her shoes.

It feels like you should also be more tender with her as people like her need a lot of love, care and warmth for their walls and barriers to be broken down. Once you've broken down the barriers which will allow you to really , truly help her out of this situations, it's going to be much better for her. The key is to face everything with her, and to also remind her that she's worth it. Actions will definitely help.. just be there for her, and keep reminding her that you'll be there for her to count on.

I know people like your friend and she is likely an amazing person like you said she is.. the key is to eliminate any sense of self-doubt she has and to teach her to believe in herself. Let her do things(SAFE things ) and try out new activities in order for her to build up and develop her talents... it'll be better for her .

Hang in there... this friend of yours is a keeper. And if you need any more advice and wanna update us on the situation.. we'll always be here for you. We ain't leaving. Ever.

[Nightblood.]

Unfortunately, if she doesn't want to help herself then there isn't much else you can do other than lend an ear. No one can force her to accept help and it seems like she isn't ready for that yet. She has to want it for it to work for her. Be careful in trying to do more because if she really doesn't want it, she may not take it very well. Just keep letting her talk, but don't be afraid to repeat that you feel she needs more help.

[Palmolive]

Hi there.

Thanks for reaching out to us here at Teenhelp. You sound like a really lovely and caring friend to have. Your friend is lucky to have you and if she doesn't see that now, one day she really will.

It sounds to me like you are already doing a hell of a lot to try and help your friend which is what you need to realise. Because you are. You're trying to help and I honestly don't know how much more you can personally do apart from offer to be an ear to listen when she needs you or just be there for her if she decides to take your advice and seek help because up until then, she's going to continue in this cycle. She has to make the choice that she wants to get better and wants to get help because it's ultimately what she wants and until she decides this for herself, you can't do much more for her than you already are,I personally think so anyway apart from what I have said.

I know this must be really hard but remember to look after yourself in this too. You are also important and deserve help to help you through this. OKay? So if you need anything please message me any time.

Stay strong,
Jessie

Hi there!

Jessie's right - you're an amazingly caring and good friend. She's lucky to have you as a friend.

I am sorry your friend is going through such a tough time. It can be heartbreaking to see someone you care about struggle but not be able to accept help for the issue. Unfortunately, too many who deal with depression feel like being helped is impossible. Or they begin to feel comfort in depression. Sometimes a person can become used to depression and it becomes a comfort zone in a way, and recovery requires them to get out of their comfort zone so it can be difficult.

Could it be beneficial to ask her questions about her depression? Maybe you could ask her if you could do anything to help. Asking her questions about her depression could help you understand better and maybe even come up with ways to help her. Depression can affect each individual in different, unique ways. You can ask what sort of things worsen her depression and ask what helps her feel better.

Secondly, has she done research on depression? While it doesn't cure depression nor does it replace seeking professional help, taking steps in taking care of her body in physical ways may boost her mood and energy. For example, a vitamin deficiency can contribute to low moods. Moderate exercise, a good sleep pattern and a healthy diet could help. I know that life issues seem to be a big cause if not the main cause of her depression, but taking care of herself in other ways can help.

Encourage her to do what relieves stress and cheers her up. Such as a hobby or distraction she enjoys a lot. Along with creative ways to express her feelings like art or creative writing. Maybe you could suggest relaxing, therapeutic distractions to her? Many people find coloring to be a big source of stress relief and maybe that could help her since she deals with a lot of conflict at home.

To surprise and cheer her up while being more personal, you could send her letters in the mail hand-written yourself with inspirational messages. You could send her motivational texts as it's been mentioned too! Making and/or giving her a friendship bracelet or a necklace could be a nice thing to do as well. This way she could wear it and be reminded someone cares and wants the best for her.

You seem to be frustrated because you see your friend in pain and all you want is to be able to help her to not feel this low. The thing is, you are probably helping immensely by simply listening. You're someone she can pour her heart out to that will listen and respond with care and concern rather than respond negatively. I am sure that means a great deal to her and that she appreciates that a lot. Remember that she has to take steps in being able to help herself before she can take advice/support and truly embrace it. However, having such a caring and supportive friend like you probably helps her in ways you don't see. Just continue sharing words of hope and inspiration and encouraging her to seek help because she deserves it.

It is admirable to see how much you care about her so keep it up, you're being a wonderful friend. Don't forget to take care of yourself too though. I know you want to help her but it's important that you take care of yourself too. Don't be afraid to reach out here for support/advice throughout this or other issues you may be struggling with. On that note, you can message me anytime if you need someone to listen.

Take care and stay strong. I hope your friend feels better soon.

[Riverthewolf]

Hey there
Your friend is really lucky to have you helping them
Just keep on talking, make them feel like they aren't alone anymore
If you need to chat, PM me