Triggering (Suicide): Depression leading to suicidal thoughts

[Titas]

I am a 16 year old girl residing in India currently.I have always been a bright student and there had never been thoughts about relationships in my mind.Until things began changing in 2014.I had a short virtual connection,not a 'relationship',really from around 26th Dec,2014 to 22nd Feb,2015.
I thought the recovery was painful enough once he left,so I would never ever do that mistake again but I did it,yet again.
This,as a matter of fact was also very virtual because the guy lives in Connecticut and about this,I also knew he had to leave at some point of time.I did not know it would be this quick but after he left and got engaged to someone else,I have been feeling really down.And especially at night.I have had minor cases of depression before but I have got uncontrollable suicidal thoughts for 3 days in a row.I could not contact a single helpline because there is no such service in India and it is getting me worried now.Each time,I have controlled hard by convincing myself that this would be called a joke and I have never done anything since I have grown up for my life to be called a joke.I am a really hardworking,determined sort of person but I also have to mention,that I have had a disturbed childhood and I have got some insecurity in me.
I also have managed myself really well in all this time but I think this time,it is getting out of my hands.I need some urgent help.

[David Armes]

Hi and welcome to Teenhelp. Leaving a person that we find very close to our hearts is tough but you said you were coping. You are only 16 so you have a long life ahead of you so don't kill yourself over it. You will find someone else even if you don't know it yet.

I reckon the best thing that you can do to get over your depression is to move on from him as that will make you feel better. I am here to talk to you at any time so just message me whenever things get tough.

Please take care, I am here for you

[Green Yoshi]

Hello and welcome

I think that what you've to do is just remember that there are plenty of trolls online, and its better to get into relationships only with people you've gotten to know in real life. What you should do is get yourself into other positive activities that will help you to forget what happened and distract yourself with positive helpful thoughts. Examples include charity activities, music and maybe group activities such as cheer-leading ,choir and chess. All those function as good activities that you can really get into in order to regain back your enthusiasm and happiness.

You should also remember that those people who betrayed you in the past don't matter. What matters is the people who stand by you, support you and won't betray you. The people in life who're jealous of you or want to hurt you are willing to use all sorts of ways and methods in order to make everything worse.. but when they don't matter, nothing they do can affect you. Just care about those who care about you, appreciate them and things will start to get better.

I know that for now, it's tough, but i am here for you too. you can beat this. And i know it's tough when you doubt yourself, but there's no need to doubt you.. there's no need to doubt someone who is hardworking, sweet, nice and has a bright future. Have faith in yourself cause you're a lot better than you think you are.

[Riverthewolf]

Hi and Welcome
When things like this happen it can be sad, but if you keep thinking about all the positives instead of the negatives, maybe it will help?
Pm me if you'd like to chat

[Not_here]

Hey there,
I voted "maybe" because I want to stress that each person is different. Some people do and some people do not and both are valid. As for at night, I find that's a time many can relate to as being a trigger. I do not know exactly why but it could be after a day of pretending and putting on a face, youre alone at night and you may let your guards down.

That I see a lot of being said, I see you have a lot of strength. You mention a disturbing childhood and perhaps emotions were coming up got you. I'm sorry you could not reach out due to poor service in India. But well done for trying. May I ask if you've tried telephone or online?

Is it possible to speak to someone in person about this? Having in person support can be really helpful and works well with online support. You can try opening up to a teacher, parent or friend's parent. Opening up to a friend can help as well.

I know how hard it can be to think beyond the present pain. But it may help to keep in mind that the night will pass and it will be day again when you can spend time with friends and occupy yourself with future goals.

I wanted to ask, you've mentioned that you've hand depressed moods before, has anything worked for you in the past that you can try again?

I hope things are a little better since you've posted. Take care

[iambatman]

I said yes because...Well...I have experienced heartache....And I started contemplating suicide and self-harming...It was hard for me to get over