Unemployment + depression and anxiety

[Always *]

I am putting this in mental health cause I think it fits better.

Any ways, I just finished school about a month and a half ago. I have been trying to find "proper" employment, but it can take up to 6 months to find something in the correct field post graduation. It makes sense, and I am lucky that I am in a position to buy time if needed. But I have been left completely stalled since school ended. I couldn't move for 2 months, which hasn't happened yet. Because of obligations in the city I am relocating too, I can't just move where ever I want to get work.

I have no connections, which is making it hard to get a job in my field. But I am also not going to drive 2 hours out of my way for a meaningless mall job (anxiety-extreme) and staying with my boyfriends family is something I find extremely stressful and upsetting even though I love them so I can't even get a part time job at the mall to make money until I move.

It's awful. I've been trying to fill my time to feel productive. For example, I am trying to network more, but I am starting to slip into depression. I have already been wracked by anxiety because of the whole no-work thing, but now I am starting to feel hopeless, useless and incompetent. I feel like I don't know enough and like I am so stupid and stuff. I am so worried that I know I'll never get a job etc.

I know this sounds like a rage against how much careers suck, but that's not it. This is my anxiety and depression clouding my mind. I am always anxious, so what ever, but when I start feeling depressed (e.g. hopeless, not wanting to do anything, not even wanting to talk to my boo), then I know that things are getting bad. For example - During reading week, for example, I totally shut down and couldn't work, all I wanted to do was sleep and cry and lie around all week cause I was maximally anxious and depressed, I was unable to do work and I got into trouble with my boss for "slacking" so I told her I was sick (which I guess is true).

I've only been out of school for 1.5 months. This could go on for much longer. Of course, if I get a part time job I think I'll be feeling much better, but even that is still a few weeks away.

I know that this might sound stupid, which is why I am here, vs talking to my bf or friends cause I just can't deal with another reassuring talk about how "oh, you'll get a job soon" or "oh i know it's so hard, I went through the same / am going through the same" or "just keep trying" or "you'll find osmething" and endless reassurances about how great I am. Of course I deserve a job, I'm not fucking stupid and I don't think they understand that my problem is a mental one, not a "I odn't want to keep trying to find a job / other actual 'doing the work to get work'" issues

I don't think anyone really understands being depressed this quickly or the unnecessary anxiety that all of this causes me at the best of times.

I know the solution is to see a therapist, but my insurance doesn't cover it, and the social work types don't work for me, I need to see a psychologist. The psychologists are not covered in Canada, only a psychiatrist are (its cause one has a PhD, and one is an MD and only the MD is covered by provincial care, it's silly, but it's better than nothing). It means that I am looking at $150+ for an appointment, which I cannot afford, especially cause they are not going to solve my problem in 1 appointment, and I do not have $300+ (for 2+ appointments)... Therefore, I am really hoping that someone on TeenHelp will understand my struggles and at least be willing to talk

[L4Y]

Hi, Andie: Believe me, you do not sound silly at all. Career stresses can be incredibly stressful and anxiety-inducing. I actually just went through something similar (and still am, to a degree), so I understand how mentally exhausting job-related matters can be, especially if you are already dealing with depression.

At the risk of sounding generic, I believe things will turn out for the best and that you will find work you are happy with before long. In the meantime, perhaps you can find something to be content with. Is there possibly a job through family or friends that you could look into?

In any event, I wish you well and hope things look up soon. Take care.