Blurred lines between anxiety and depression

[Always *]

I have ADHD. I have been depressed in the past. I have problems with anxiety. I've wanted to hurt myself before. I feel worthless and stupid. Lately I've been so anxious. It merged into depression. I'm so worried about failing all the time. I feel this heaviness in my chest. I can't deal with my school work because it makes me feel worse. If I didn't feel so awful I could get more done. It's going to affect my grades because the only coping mechanism I have is to tell myself I don't care about my grades. It's the only way to be ok with what is happening while I feel incredibly unhappy with everything. If it weren't for school, I would feel much better. I have an amazing boyfriend. I have a bright future. I have a car, a good home, and I love reading and crocheting. There are a lot of things that make me happy. But the nature and of school and the condition of my current program make me feel so anxious and depressed. I'm afraid I will want to hurt myself again. My boyfriend doesn't know how severe it gets. I can tell him anything but I'm so ashamed of the fact that my anxiety/depression gets so bad I would want to hurt myself. I don't even know if my problem is the anxiety of the depression. The lines get blurred. I know the anxiety is a constant. Even at the best of times I worry endlessly.

I am talking to a counsellor. I have my second appointment soon. So inn that regard, I'm taken care of, but I'm just afraid that when I "grow up" and get a job that my job will just become the new major cause of my anxiety. I just want t be happy. I want to be able to have a job/education that doesn't destroy me. I know life isn't perfect but school shouldn't literally destroy my mental health.

[Not_here]

Hey there,
I'm so sorry this is happening to you and I have to say that I completely relate. I personally had mostly bad experiences with professionals, but since you are seeing one, how is that going right now? are they aware of this particular issue?
I think the very nature of school is that it is a high stress environmrmt and that doesnt necessarily mean that you learn more. It is just something we gotta get through if we want a certain qualification. I also have to tell myself that i dont care about grades to keep myself from excessively worrying but i dont have a solution for that. It isnt like the trigger haopens once in a while, but school is constant. Have you tried taking some time off at all? Thats something that may help. Another thing can be to take less classes and spend more time on other things. I used to let school be the center of my life and ive realized over the years that isnt something i want anymore. At the same time, it means being in school for more semesters.

[BreathingIn]

Hi there,

I'm sorry that you are going through this. It's great that you are seeing a counselor! Definitely talk to them what you said last -- that you're worried that in the future your job will be the cause of new anxiety.

It's normal to worry about your future. Everyone wants a happy life that they're not stressed out about. The key is to find something you love. It's cliche, but it's true. And if you end up not liking a place you work, or you're becoming anxious about it, reach out to co-workers you can trust or Human Resources. If you don't feel good still, remember that you can leave. Nothing is holding you back from walking out the door However, have another job set up before leaving, and make sure to thank your boss and ask for a recommendation. Always leave on good terms.

I understand anxiety, yet I have a mild bit of it. I worry about the future sometimes. My counselor gave me some worksheets for thought-stopping. Ask you counselor for something like that. They're even floating around the Internet. It's a chart that has questions you answer (What is your current negative thought? On a scale of 1-10 how anxious do you feel? Why are you having this thought? etc...), and then you write in alternative positive thoughts, and solutions. It helps me whenever I feel bad thoughts or anxiety coming on.

All the best!