depression because of how i am treated by my family

[brina5810]

My family never stands by me and always tries to control me. They hate my bf, they don't push me to go farther in school, they just don't care. I live with my dad now and he just won't do anything around his house I have to cook, clean, when its not even my messes. I feel like a maid. My grandparents are praying that god makes me leave my bf when he is the best thing that has ever happened in my life. His family n him keep me going. My dad only thinks of himself. If I cook dinner he expects me to save him some but when he cooks he doesn't make me any or save me any. I feel like I am never good enough when I work my butt off at work and school. He treats me like I know nothing also, for example, I have taken all the tax classes at my school but he still questions my answers. There was some things and still are something wrong with my car and my dad said not my car not my problem. My mom on the other hand has seemed to forgotten about me and cared more about my twin sister. Always helped her such as paint her room or teaching her how to drive but with me she didn't help at all. I just don't know what to do because every time I'm around my family they just make me so depressed. I'm thinking of moving out of my dads just so I don't think of things I shouldn't be thinking of. I'm tiered of crying and being in pain all the time when I deserve so much more respect then what I get.

[luckiicloverxx]

Hey there,

I'm sorry that you're going through this!

If you think that being in your current environment is toxic to your own wellbeing, seeing as you're 21, I think it would be reasonable for you to move out if you can. If you can't just yet, then try to keep focusing on the positive parts of your life: school, your boyfriend and his family, and your future. Don't let your family control your emotions. Control your own emotions and you will be able to control your own life!

Feel free to PM me if you ever need anything!

Kyra

[brina5810]

its just been hard because it has been like this my whole life. like i am not good enough and that they dont care. i am trying to move out by my dad gets all forbidden kind of talk. anyways thanks for your help it means alot

[Green Yoshi]

The problem is that some parents feel that harsh parenting is the way to go. BUT, i think that in many cases, this way is also the wrong way to go... because it can lead to situations such as this one. You deserve to feel much better than how you're currently feeling.. and i truly believe that you're going to get much happier in the future once you break free of their control.

Your family not seeing just how much of a blessing you are and failing to notice how wonderful of a person you can be is a shame.. and it's more their loss than yours. You can move out after you earn enough money to support yourself.. and remember to stay strong. I believe that you deserve happiness and i want you to think positively.

I know that the road ahead seems tough for now, but it's nothing you can't overcome. I'll always be here if there's something on your mind... or if you just need a friend. I'll never judge :Hug:

[Spirit.]

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. It's understandable that moving out isn't easy. We get used to the way that things are sometimes. What I can say, is work towards it - Moving out, moving on. Our family may be of our blood, and they say that we don't choose our family. But I think we do, in many ways. A lot of other people become closer to us than our very own family - which shows how a family could be like, a family we'd like t be a part of. If anything, I'd say - work on moving out. It is a long process, so it will take time.

When dealing with your family, don't give in to all the things they are trying to get you to do, like break up with your boyfriend. They might just push you to such a point. What's important is you listening to your heart. While you're still with your dad,it might be hard, but try to enjoy doing the things that you're doing, like cooking and cleaning. Do it for you. Don't do it for anyone else. Do it because you have a beautiful heart. do it because you like living in a clean, lovely home. Do it because you want to make sure your father eats. If they treat you the way they treat you, they just don't know how to see the angel that you are and they're just missing out. Too bad for them. If I may make a small suggestion? In your head, maybe a few times a day when you're getting mad at your dad or anyone else just repeat the words 'you're right, I'm wrong' a few times. What it does is stops you from being involved in whatever it is anymore with them. Once you say you're wrong, the need to continue to fight stops. Just say this in your head. Or if they keep saying that you should do something, just tell them: Yes, you're right, I'm wrong. And leave it at that. See if it helps you. I know it sounds strange. But it's worked so well for me. I has very much to do with the state of mind you are in and the energy that you are projecting towards them. If you don't want to try it, that's perfectly alright, too! I just ask, what have you got to lose by trying?

If you need to talk, do PM me anytime.
Take care of yourself x