Is it depression, Is this how it feels?

[Treble]

My moods tend to go up and down a lot. But when I'm happy, I'm never truly happy, I know that soon it will end, and the sadness will come back. I could be anywhere, at school, at home, out with friends, and suddenly it hits me. An overwhelming feeling of despair and emptiness. From that point, my whole world is different, I see and think about things in a different way. I could be in a room full of people, and all I feel is loneliness. I feel trapped, I want to escape, but I cant escape from myself, the darkness comes from inside me.

Am I describing depression? I'm worried about myself. Its been going on for ages, but I feel it getting worse, it's eating away at me slowly, changing me into a new person. This pain isn't me, its not who I want to be. I want to be happy again, and not pretend happy, really truly happy, I want to be free from these thoughts... I don't know what to do

[*CatchingStars*]

I'm not a doctor so I can't diagnose anything but I can see it's bothering you and suggest to go see a doctor. The longer you wait too see the worse it seems to get. It took me almost dying to get help and wouldn't want that for you. You do describe it and seem your struggling with things so it's worth the time and going to see someone. Even a school counselor. They wouldn't call your parents because your just feeling sad but I don't know the guild lines for your school. But I suggest to talk to someone about it someone you trust.

[Becky-Jae]

The best thing to do is go to your doctor, they can help you. None of us on here can diagnose you because we aren't professionals. It certainly sounds like your going through a rough time, I know how that can be, being upset or sad all the time can be disheartening and it can crushing to your confidence, but with the right help it will end, you will have up and down days, times when you relapse but it will get better. Reach out to people close to you and definitely go and see your doctor, because your doctor can definitely help you and will send you to the right services. If you are unable to go to the doctor, you can go and see someone at school, a counsellor, student support even a teacher, they will all be able to help in some way, even if its just someone to talk to, talking helps.

If you ever need anything, just send me a message.

It will all be okay, it may seem bad now, but it will get better.