dealing with guilt on top of depression

[∂яєαмєя]

I got my friend a box of lotions & bath salts as a late Christmas/New Years present. My mom told me that that didn't seem like a good gift, or that it wasn't "enough." Not that any of this matters but while I don't have a job, my friend does have a job, and so at this point this is all I could get her. Also, we're renting a tiny apartment in which I don't even have a room and don't have a lot of money to be spending so I thought my gift was thoughtful enough for what I have.

But my mom then comes up to me and takes the lotion & perfume she got for ME and insisted I give that to my friend as well.

Long story short, I didn't give her my present. I'm usually a very giving person but this was something I really really liked, especially because it was from my grandma. As weird as it sounds, every time my grandma gets me something I feel an instant connection to the item, even if it's lotion.

So I want to give her the thing I got her. Is that sinful or hurting God?

And now will it be wrongful of me to use the lotions my grandma got me for myself? I will forever feel horrible. I also want to add that the reason I feel guilt or that God is mad at me is because I feel like I am being extremely materialistic and selfish and that God would want me to give my things, even though I may be the "less fortunate" one. I've seen homeless men give their things away and so now I feel like a total jerk.

[Karol]

Your gift was very thoughtful! One of my friends recently lost her job and gave me something small for Christmas. It was the thought that count and it was very special to me.

I think it is perfectly okay that you didn't give her your present! If it means something to you, and you like it, and you already have another gift for your friend, there is aboslutely nothing wrong with keeping your present.

It will NOT be wrong of you to use the lotions your grandma got you for yourself! She wasn't giving them to your friend, she gave them to you.
Don't feel like a total jerk. The guilt you're feeling isn't from God, it's from the devil. He loves to tell these little lies to bring you down; especially when you're already struggling with depression.

Go ahead and use your present for yourself and give your friend her present. There's nothing wrong with what you did.

[Chai.]

Hey,
What you gift and how much you spend on a gift doesn't matter. The thought behind it matters. I personally think that your gift was really thoughtful and nice. The fact that you bought your friend a gift, even when in financial strain yourself, should make her happy.
Your grandma got the gift for you. She meant you to use it. Personally I feel it was wrong on your mother's part to suggest you part with a gift that means so much to you. Gifts are supposed to be kept and not given away to someone else. Think about it this way, by using it you are making your Grandma happy. You are in no ways being materialistic. The gift was meant for you and it does not make you bad for using what is yours. Think of it this way. Would your grandmother feel nice if she realizes you re-gifted the things she bought for you? No, right? You are doing nothing wrong in making your grandmother happy and using what is yours
Go ahead and give your friend the gift you got for her. Stop feeling guilt, because I can assure you have done nothing wrong here. I am sure she will be happy with what you got for her.