Cyber School Depression

[mysticdancer]

Hi
Im not very sure how to start this but ill get on with it.

I started cyber school earlier this year due to truancy. I kinda thought cyber school would be right for me since I was missing so much school due to bullying and just being a little depressed overall.

I did cyber school for the rest of last year and so this year its been making me feel alone. Mostly I guess because the few friends I did have at school dont try to contact me anymore or hang out. So I feel like ive lost my social life. Ive been thinking about going back because I want to try and make some friends. But just the thought of it gives me anxiety and the fact that I don't want to become truant again.

Another problem I am having is pretty much the only friend I thought I had left wants to cut all ties with me. He was pretty much a Long Distance Boyfriend and I considered him my best friend as well. Hes in college or school for carpentry so he broke up since well we dont really have time together anymore, like talking & skype. I was pretty much trying to get a job and save up ect ect to go see him but he cut all ties with me so im having a bit of a tough time accepting it I think.

So with everything going on and plus thinking about college Ive become so depressed and have been thinking about suicide and It scares me because I dont like feeling this way.

Im sorry for such the long post!!! Any advice is appreciated!!!

[CrusadingAvenger]

Hello Ray,

No apologies needed for long posts. I'm sorry to hear that so much is going in your life that you don't know where to start. To start off, let's talk about your online schooling. I feel that you want to go back to going to a public school so that you can have a social life, but at the same time, you don't want people bullying you. All I want to say on this is don't let your fear of getting bullied stop you from going back to public school. No matter what, there's always going to be people who want to bring you down to your knees and prove something that they're superior and you're not, but you can't allow those people to do so. Don't pay attention to those people because they're not worth the time and stress. I understand that it'll be hard for you to do, but you've got to stand up for yourself and stand your ground. I know that deep down inside, there is a part of you that's strong and willing to stand up for yourself regardless of what others do or think about you. It's not what other people think about you that matters. It's what you think about yourself that counts and matters most.

As for your former long distance boyfriend, it sounds like he doesn't want to have anything to do with you no longer. Accepting this can be difficult, but remember this: people will come and go in your life. There'll be the ones that are out of your life in a flash, and there'll be the ones that'll stay and be a part of your life. There's no need to be so saddened by the fact that this guy doesn't want to have any contact with you anymore. You deserve to be appreciated and loved. Your heart may be hurting right now, but over the course of time, it will heal. However, it's what you do in that time that helps it heal.

If you are having suicidal thoughts with everything that's going on, I suggest that you talk to someone about those thoughts, preferably a professional or someone you trust. Rest assured, your thoughts are only temporary and not permanent. You can and will find a way out of everything that you're going through right now. Believe in yourself that you have what it takes to turn everything around for the better.

If you need any further advice, don't hesitate to ask. I hope you seek the happiness that you've been yearning for in this new year. Take care of yourself.

All the best from your friendly knight,
Batman

[mysticdancer]

Thanks so much for the advice!

[Green Yoshi]

I pmed you with my thoughts about the situation. Besides that, i just want to reassure you that things will get better, and suicide is not the way Stay strong and remember, the people who don't appreciate you are missing out on a very good friend

[Not_here]

Hey there,
I'm sorry to hear what you went through but I'm glad you've figured out an alternative such as online schooling. Honestly, I can think of two options you have here. Either go to a public school, the same or different one is up to you but if bullying gets worse you may want to let a guidance counselor or trusted teacher know.
The second thing is that if the only thing you want to change about online schooling is the social life, you can stick to it and find other ways to maintain a social life. For example you can join homeschooling groups in your location. You can find a job and work part time, volunteer, try an internship or apprenticeship or join a community center/group. This way you will have ample opportunities for friendship.in addition the chances of bullying would be less because of the recreational nature of these settings. Sure it is educational but it is also not forced as school is forced, and forced places tend to lead to crankier people. Also you will meet people at different ages, of different stages of life and many will be mature enough to not bully. Or if they're younger, they won't feel the need to turn on their competitive side. Who said friends had to be exactly your age? I personally had such a hard time making friends in my class but many people from the younger grades seemed to look up to me/admire me. If I was not so stubborn on making a friend in my class I would have had the chance to focus on building friendships with people who actually liked me.
Anyways, whatever you choose I wish you the best

[TheGuyinCanada]

Hey there,
sorry to hear what you went through. I am sorry to hear you were bullied. it looks like you were bullied a lot because you were forced to leave school. I would suggest try going back to school. But not the same school Another school where you can start fresh. and be happy again,make new friends..etc. I myself was bullied in middle school. I became really depressed because i was constantly harassed and i had little friends. I was extremely depressed during the time. However once high school hit I was happy . I started fresh as a freshman. I recommend going to a different school. Best of luck .

[mysticdancer]

Thanks everyone for the advice, I appreciate it lots.