Postnatal Depression

[Raggedy Man, Goodnight!]

I have had postnatal depression for about 7 month now, I guess it's caused by losing my little girl during through labour but I am too scared to the doctors in case they feel I won't be a very good mother if I decide to have another.

[RadioSerenade]

Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss. The thing you need to understand is that this is a physical incident and not a representation of your capabilities as a mother. I mean if you're religious, I find this to be a test of God of your resolve and you seem to smashing it thus far because if it were me, I would be bananas.

The thing on your side is the fact that you're only 24 and you will have a gazillion chances for conception should you choose to take them. On that note, an important thing to realise is that you cannot rush these things. If you do not feel you are emotionally ready after such a raw and traumatic labour then don't just yet. As I said, you have plenty of time should you decide to try again.

For the depression, I recommend one thing. Talk. Talk to as many people as you can, your parents, your partner, your midwife, your doctor, your sisters, your friends, your support services whom you have around you. Hopefully your personal supporters have no experiences with deaths at delivery, but your doctor and midwife have probably seen it a gazillion times and will be able to support you through immense amounts of experience, and you cannot beat experience.

I wish you all the best .

[Philomath]

Hi There,

Firstly, I am extremely sorry you are going through this. I will do my best to help but have no personal experience with this so I hope I am not offensive or minimizing any of your experience by saying what I am about to say.
Postnatal depression is no that uncommon. I am not sure of the exact statistics of postnatal depression however it is not something rare, untreatable or unheard of. Try remindg yourself that you are not alone in this struggle. Your doctor and the midwife that helped deliver your baby have probably helped many women through the driving process after losing a child through labor. Also, there are mental health professionals that could assist in helping you with your depression.
It may help you to find support groups in your area for women that have lost a baby through miscarriage or that are experiencing postnatal depression. Connecting with those that can relate to you and share how they cope and get through each day would probably be very useful.
Remember, you are still young and you have plenty more years to have a child if you choose to try again. This did not happen do to any fault of yours. It is extremely tragic however, with the appropriate resources the tragedy can be easier to cope with.
Another thought I have is what you mentioned about fearing that you will not be able to be considered a good mother because of this. There are quite a few women that have had depression after giving birth or going through labor and losing their child. I believe that if you did not react how you have that would be a problem. You lost a child that you were carrying, connected to emotionally, physically and that you were probably hoping and planning for. For you to not be depressed and griving would be odd. This does not reflect your character in any way. It also does not affect your ability to parent. You can pick up the pieces and get through this depression, it may take some time but relying on your family and other supports will help significantly.
You do not have to go through this alone.
We are here for you and so are the people in your life that care about you.
I hope this is helpful in someway.
If you would like to talk, you can send me a PM and I will be glad to listen and support you in some way if I am able to.
Take care.