Anxiety(?), Depression(?), Stress(?)?

[Jonathon75]

I believe I may be suffering from anxiety, depression, or most likely bipolar.

Some days when I come home, I just don't feel it. I try my best to convince myself, but I just feel horrible, and when I think into it, I nearly cry sometimes. I sit on my computer and play videogames until it goes away or I go to sleep. I give myself plenty of reasons. I can't decide what I want in life? Is Sarah (see; 'Cutting Loose Ends', tl dr: crush gone wrong don't want relationship but crush still there) the reason for my depression? Too much work? Highschool is bad?
I just grind through my homework if there's any due the next day, and waste my time on unproductive things.

Other days, I come home, happy and productive, work ahead, work on my writing with stories, clean and organise the house, play with my dogs, etc., and have a nice night.

I don't know what's wrong. I need help. I'll try to see my phsycologist, but due to my mom's precarious work schedule, that won't be in a while.

Advice?

[Celyn]

Hi Jonathon,

It sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment which may be causing you to feel this way.

I’m not a professional, but I do not think you have bipolar. With bipolar, in general, the feelings of depression are more severe and the ‘ups’ are a lot more manic with a lot of energy, with no thought of consequences to potentially dangerous behaviour (e.g gambling, spending money, getting rid of things). From what you have described, it sounds like you may have depression. Depression doesn’t need to be feeling extremely low, but feeling low over some time. You will still have days where you feel ‘better’ and will be able to get more things done.

It’s good that you recognise how you are feeling and what to get help- that is the first step to recovery! Do you have an appointment booked to see your psychologist or are you waiting for your mom? If you are waiting, is it possible to see your school guidance counsellor in the meantime?

Depression can make you feel horrible and can cause you to ruminate on worrying thoughts or thoughts that make you upset. When you feel this way, try to write your feelings down and once they are down on paper, try not to dwell on them. It is hard, but from my experience, I felt worse thinking negatively and would get frustrated because being negative meant I did less work. It is ok to cry though- that is a healthy way of expressing emotion. Other way of expressing emotion would be drawing, or creating art that reflects how you feel.

Playing video games is a great way of distracting yourself. However, if you depend on it too much and it begins to interfere with your life or school work, it may be best to cut down and try to find other ways of distraction or get to the root of the problem. Do you have a daily routine? Scheduling in time to do school work, relax and do something you enjoy doing, as well as something you are good at, can help you manage your depression.

It’s ok to not know what you want in life. You are still quite young and many people feel the same way. Though I understand that this would add to the uncertainty you feel and make you anxious about the future, which would then lead you to feel depressed. I also like to think that there isn’t one single ‘cause’ to depression, sometimes, it’s more a case of things building up and finding it difficult to manage everything.

As for school, do you find anything in particular difficult? Could you talk to a teacher about it? If people become aware of how you feel, they may be able to help you so you won’t feel like you are alone dealing with everything.

I’m assuming your mom knows how you feel? This is great because when you are depressed, you really do need a good support network of friends and family to talk to.

Hope you get help soon

[Green Yoshi]

I wonder if you're thinking too much about the bad things and stress. The less you think and ponder about it, the less it will affect you. I also think that sometimes, things will work better when you just relax and do what you enjoy and like, and not pressure yourself. Its more efficient that way , too. I too don't think that you've bipolar. Its more likely that there's some thoughts that when invoked, cause you to fall out of your happy mood.

i'm sorry that you're having a tough time. but i think that if you will yourself and tell yourself " this, too.. is nothing i cannot overcome " then i believe that this is something that you will be able to beat.

I'm not really knowledgable regarding psychology and health but i do know that hard work, will power and a positive attitude will help you in virtually any situation. So keep that in mind .

If you need more advice or just a hug or a friend, i'll always be around.

[Jonathon75]

Thanks for all the suggestions.
Yes, I am waiting for my mom to get me an appointment with my psychologist, but my school has no counselor. It's an odd private school.
I'm not outright telling my mom that I have depression, rather I'm just talking more with her and spending more time with her, which helps.
I have very few friends to pick from, as I go to an extremely small private school (there's 7 kids in my class), and I have little to nothing in common with any of them. It's developing slowly.
I hope that better time management, the will to push through and get it down regardless, and more time with my mom and friends will help solve my problems.